wKHM

Paul Simon: So Beautiful or So What

2011-04-18T00:13:00.000-04:00

I've been wondering what it would take to cause me to post here. Turns out, it was a simple request to share my impressions of a new piece of music. That's a request I rarely decline.

Simon's new disc dropped on Tuesday; he's had a string of kind of "meh" recordings following his really awful production for stage (The Capeman) in the mid-1990's. The pre-release hype for SBoSW was impressive: things like "...his best since Graceland...". Well, if you're talking to me, that's one hell of an assertion.

I wouldn't ever really commit to the notion that any recording could be the best in the whole world so I'm not saying that exactly. Primarily because I'd have to listen to every bit of recorded music to have any credibility and beyond having the time to do that, some music is just shit and I won't listen to it. And who am I to tell anyone what has the most merit? Art is all about the personal experience of an offering so by definition a given piece of art will be different for each person who takes it in (caveat: not all music is artistic). BUT for my money, time and taste there are two albums that run neck and neck for favorite (and I rarely even commit to personal favorites when it comes to music): Carol King's Tapestry and Paul Simon's Graceland. So that's one thing to be considered. Another is that Simon's follow-up to Graceland was another exceptional album: Rhythm of the Saints. Finally, no one should ever forget that IMO, the funniest music video ever is You Can Call Me Al --- and that tune came to us from Graceland. So, for me, from 1986 to 1990, Paul Simon was just on fire. Could this new disc measure up to that level? I'm a little skeptical.

So in determining whether or not this latest disc is Mr. Simon's best since Graceland (or even if its just good) I had to, at long last, try to sum up why Rhythm of the Saints was never an album that I could listen to over and over and over as I have (and do) Graceland. I listened to it today for the first time in maybe 10 years. I was pleasantly reminded that there are some excellent songs there, a couple which are really beautiful.

Paul Simon makes some remarks in the "making of..." DVD that accompanies SBoSW about whether or not the pop/rock album remains a viable art form. A very good question, too, because we don't find much of it in popular music. Jazz still finds value in albums. Those often come together by some theme: the echoes/repetition of rhythmic patterns, similar key or time progressions or extended efforts to capture an experience in sound, like Brad Mehldau's Highway Rider.

Graceland hung together via the inclusion of several different forms of "world music" the likes of which had never been taken on at such a large scale, and similarity of a few lyrical themes. It's a freaking GREAT album. Rhythm of the Saints took the same approach and the music was good, interesting, fresh. But you know what? I think there was too much thematic similarity in both the music and the lyrics. And I'm sorry to say it but I think the music overpowered the vocals a good bit. It's almost as though Paul Simon and his producers forgot that his fans love his gift of lyrics, we love his voice singing them. I love his insight into the human condition, the foibles of individuals and nations. And those things were easily missed on RotS (unfortunate initials).

So: is the new disc better than RotS, not quite so good as Graceland? You know what? I do think so! How great is that? It's not as overtly exotic as either of them but it sounds fresh in its cross-cultural infusions, its harmonies and instrumentation.

How does it stand up on its own, separate from other Simon efforts? I've only listened through 3 times but it seems there are provocative social ideas and some love-your-life-as-it-is kind of songs that we've come to look to Paul Simon for. Spesh K, I hope I've told you enough about how I sized the album up and what I think of it as part of Simon's catalogue. I think It's the best thing he's done since Graceland and that's one hell of an assertion!

If you can't say anything nice...

2010-12-30T18:38:00.000-05:00

so I haven't been saying much. Not that I'm upset or bothered by anything its just that life has been overwhelming lately and kinda dull to read about. I thought I'd wrap up the woes and miseries of 2010 today and perhaps tomorrow or the next day everything will seem brighter.

MIL remains ... not well? I'm not sure what there is to say, she's not actually sick but a lot of things are not right. She has that chronic obliterating pneumonia that's being held in check a bit by high dose steroids, her kidneys are failing: so badly that she mostly can't feel one foot at all from all the edema in her lower leg and feet and she also can't walk. At all. So she's been in a rehab place forever trying to maintain some strength and figure out how to walk should her edema ever get better. She's unhappy and half-crazy so you can imagine that creates challenging interactions. We are presently preparing for her to come home as she is no longer benefitting from PT but she won't agree to the changes that need to be made to her apartment before she can be there safely. Tomorrow Rob and I are going to lay all the cards on the table and see if she changes her tune: she can't come home until she agrees to the installation and use of a chair lift in her stairway. If she's discharged from the Rehab place before that happens she'll have to be placed elsewhere. Not really looking forward to that visit.

That Other Thing (TOT) continues to challenge us with her trifecta of diabetes/celiac and Hashimoto's. Her blood glucose management is awful: there has been a LOT of covert eating. According to data from her continuous glucose monitor, her bg has been in range only 30% of the time in the last two months. She's mostly extremely high...a clear waste of insulin and worry. I'm a little uncertain what to do: I don't want to get all controlling with food and create the kinds of issues that typically brings. I don't know how or where but she's also getting gluten somehow in her food: her tummy is all distended again. I'm thinking maybe we need the help of a therapist.

But Christmas was nice. We spent Christmas Eve in a winter wonderland over at the newly developed National Harbor As lovely as some moments were, it reminded me of why I rarely go to places like museums....people always push themselves to the front, stand in the way, exhibit all kinds of entitlement behavior that really annoys me. Christmas Day, MIL was able to spend at home with us and that was very nice. Lovely gifts, good food, plenty to be happy about.

Two-thousand and ten, I would like to say that it's been a tough year: far too tough. I won't miss you at all. Not even the blissful days I spent on the beach with my kiddies in August.

Long Time, no post: Holiday Edition

2010-12-07T21:28:00.005-05:00

So---its been busy. Same old thing, where's the fun in that? My Dad had gallbladder surgery and he's doing fine but that's been the only diversion lately.

The holidays are sincerely right around the corner. Am I ready? No. Don't make me laugh. This year I'm less prepared than ever. IDGAS, really, although I must get the tree up soon. In light of the frenetic last four months we've opted out of Mullen Movie Night which is perhaps the one thing I regret most about the changes we'll make to accommodate our situations (well, also the Snickerdoodles).

Holiday music, though, that's the easy, sure-fire part. It seems to me in all of the years of collective blogging most of us haven't talked a heck of a lot about our favorites. Let me put that in order now:

1. All-time favorite traditional and serious Christmas song?
No question: O Holy Night. I prefer it sung solo by a strong tenor with great swelling orchestration but I'll take it pretty much any way.
2. That one song that says, unequivocally, that the holidays have arrived?
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by Springsteen and The E-Street Band. I am a product of my generation.
3. Favorite Contemporary Carol and/or favorite contemporary cover of a traditional holiday tune?
This is tough and I'm leaning toward The Eagles' "Please Come Home for Christmas". There's no shortage of good candidates and I'm eager to hear from anyone who'd like to say. I do have a real fascination with Straight No Chaser's verion/mashup of "Twelve Days of Christmas" ("I miss the rains down in Africa....).
4. Carol that most reminds you of your holidays as a younger person?
Again, no problem on this one for me. My high school band played "Sleigh Ride" at every Winter show. It abolutely transports me and I even know all the words...
5. Favorite version of "Baby, it's Cold Outside"
This is a classic feel-good holiday tune and its been done over and over, mostly universally well. I'm gonna go old-school on this with Johnny Mercer and Margaret Whiting but I must give a nod to Zooey Deschnnel's duo with Leon Redbone from the "Elf" soundtrack. Zooey Deschanel's performance was PERFECT.
6. Finally, Your all time favorite disc--aka, if you could have only one holiday music disc, what would it be? I feel only slightly torn about this one. I would choose Aaron Neville's "Soulful Christmas". Yes: its that good. And I would definitely miss my Canadian Brass recordings.

So....get to work. Share, people, share.

When Nothing is Fun(ny)

2010-11-23T15:49:00.004-05:00

so...funny is like gold to me. A smart, funny man (to be my favorite kind of funny requires wicked smarts) who can play guitar could put me in a great many compromising situations. In these days when very few things are funny and I don't have much time to chat with Rob (boy cracks me up), I rely on a few web comics to get my giggle on.

Most of you already read XKCD . My friend pointed out Hyperbole and a Half a few months ago. Here's a favorite from that author; but really, they're all priceless. Gets kids and parents dead right all the time; pets, too. I can't believe I almost forgot Indexed! Mostly super smart and very frequently ironic...

How about you guys? What are your fave web funnies?

I should point out that the biggest laughs I've had recently came from Public Speaking (boy is she a force to be reckoned with...) and the beginnings of a friend's NaNoWriMo effort. Friend is posting his No bits on his blog which also includes some other creative writing. He's a silly, smart guy; writes very well.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-22T21:49:00.002-05:00

is coming! Yay!

We're going totally scaled back: a bird and three sides, a store bought dessert. That's right, you heard me: no gluttony. Also, no achey back, no terribly messy kitchen, no cooking all day and then not eating 'cuz you're just over it.

Good thing, too. Its been the kind of year where I need some extra time to come up with my list of things for which to give thanks. I know at least one: I won't be bushed when dinner begins and my husband won't have to spend all night at the sink.

What about you guys?

Unbelievable

2010-11-10T00:19:00.003-05:00

which is to say even I don't believe this and yet...'tis true. Seriously: sit down for this.

We've taken TOT out of her public school pending resolution of complaints we have regarding accommodation of her diabetes related academic needs. Situation is getting ugly, we know that we'll never be comfortable with her there under the current leadership so whatever may come of our official (and copious) complaints, she will never attend school there again. We've asked for her to be placed in the other elementary school that serves our community (Thing 1 and Thing 2 attended there before it became overcrowded and they split the boundary and built this new school). But until we know how our request will be resolved--what are we doing?

Frack. I'm home-schooling her.

I KNOW. I can hear you bristle, see you make that lolo gesture with your finger by the side of your skull...and really, why wouldn't you?

We talked a lot about this issue and the possibility of this solution last year when the school wasn't responding as we wished to her needs and my husband was keen to pull her out but I was not so keen to be a teacher, much less a teacher of my own daughter in my house. Its something of a statement that taking this route now is the very best of our limited options.

In our home county, a family that elects to home school must either submit to portfolio reviews of the curriculum being used or hitch their wagon to a state-certified home schooling program; most of those organizations are church based and cater to a curriculum that is much heavier in religious content than we could tolerate. Luckily, for less than a thousand dollars we found a GREAT, sincerely great, curriculum and all associated lesson plans and materials. Classroom in a box.

It has been WONDERFUL so far. The materials are fantastic and although I always have a lot of previewing to do to prepare a day's lessons we are doing so well and really enjoying it. A "school day" is mostly about 4.5 or 5 hours with only one student and a rookie teacher so we're able to accommodate the ups and downs of her blood glucose levels and the challenges they bring to concentration with breaks and distractions---and overall, its just a lot less difficult for her in terms of the time demand and the one-on-one interaction.

Its kind of like playing school but with really cool props. And its a huge relief from the constant struggles we were having with the Administration at her school.

I wouldn't want to point out in such an upbeat post about the timing being kinda challenging for initiating this effort.... life does keep rolling on, doesn't it? And let us not forget this: being a parent will lead you into positions you never imagined.

In a Hospital Room

2010-11-06T23:20:00.002-04:00

She: (feeling her pulse points repeatedly) "I can't find my pulse!"
I: (not looking up from my book) "It's in there."
She: "How can you be so sure?"
I: *Stunned silence* ?
I: "Self-report of clinically significant impalpable pulse is notoriously unreliable."
She: (rolls eyes) "You really are insufferable sometimes."
I: (with sarcastic glee) "I'm quite sure this is not one of those times."

The Sweetness
We have had more than a few nasty disagreements over the years. She loves me, I know. But we'd both admit in each other's presence that we've often not liked the other. We've spent a lot of time one-on-one in the last couple of months. I am able to comfort her when she's at her most agitated. I'm glad of that.

She's not well. She might not leave us next week or next month but I'll bet she won't be here next Thanksgiving. She has talked about my daughters during our hours in the rooms, about how she has loved them so completely and delighted in caring for them as wee ones when I went to work.

I knew in those days how lucky I was to leave my children in the care of their loving grandmother, even if she rarely did things as I wished, if she undid every ounce of discipline and orderliness I'd tried to instill in them. Even if she sometimes overstepped my "Momma Grizzly" boundaries. Even if she perpetuated bottle nipple rejection of precious pumped breast milk by dribbling it on their lips from her fingertips.

I think in these last few days I've for the first time really appreciated the gift she gave to me and to my children -- not the savings, the safety, the convenience, the freedom from infection. The real gift: the family joined over three generations, all of us caring for our others. I've finally felt truly connected to her as we shared our recollections of each daughter in their early months and years. I inadvertently called her "Mom" once...it just fell out of my mouth. This is something I've never, ever done, even when my teen friends would do so. I have one mother: she gave birth to me and no matter how much I might have felt comfort or love from friends' mothers, I never even considered diminishing my mother's efforts by calling someone else by her name.

I love what Mary M. has shown to my daughters about family connections. I certainly loved my grandparents just as I know my girls love my own parents but it is an entirely different family model. I hope my children will let me play the same part in their family lives.

Sisters
After she'd had her xanax this evening and settled down, the room grew quiet. I looked at a crack in the pink paint over the doorway. I had my first sad moment of the Bethy Blue season that is knocking on my door. Just as I thought of the many hospital rooms I sat in with Beth, she said, "and what an awful time of year it is for all of this to be happening..." Asked to clarify she said, "well, its very close now to Beth's anniversary..." And I swear--- we hadn't been talking about the holiday approaching or its' sad memories.

A few more hours passed and it was time for her night meds: steroids for the pneumonia, colace for its usual purpose, vitamin K to coagulate the blood they'd been thinning for her embolisms (until she nearly bled to death), oxycontin for pain. I read as she watched the silent television. She asked, "has Kathy planned any hikes with Shane?". I said I was confused; I don't know anyone named Shane. Perhaps she was confusing me for someone else? "No," she replied, "your daughter's golden retriever. Are they planning any mountain hikes?" "My daughters, your granddaughters, have a golden doodle named Noodle, a shih tzu named Otis. Maybe you're thinking I'm your sister, Dorothy?"

She said no and closed her eyes, exasperated with me. Then opening one eye only, she studied my face. "You're right. I thought you were Dorothy." I thanked her; her sister is lovely in face and character; they love each other well.

I wonder if she's going now to be with my sister. Over the rainbow, maybe.

[Note: This exasperation on her part that I would not be who she thought I was reminded me much of my Uncle Don Walker's insistence that a nurse on his floor of his nursing home was my Mom. I love that when my Mom did actually visit him, after a period of some length insisting this nurse was his niece (there's a limerick in there, I just know it...), she said, "Uncle Don! It's me: Mary Frances!" And he said, "Well, its about time you admitted it!"]

2010-10-24T21:32:00.002-04:00

MIL fell, Husband went to some place higher in the sky than Denver (Keystone?), MIL had to go to the ER in an ambulance because she was having chest pain. Thing 2 told me she'd been having recurring pain in her left chest about 5 times every day for about 5 minutes at a time, so bad she was having trouble breathing through them. Husband came home in time to belatedly celebrate his birthday in between taking Thing 2 to the ER for an episode of chest pain and checking out short term rehabilitation facilities in which to place his mother for convalescence.

Wore my boots for the first time this autumn looked great, feet hurt. Ate first meal of the day at about 6 PM when absolutely ravenous and as TOT's blood glucose plummeted so low it was looking like time for rescue glucagon.

Stopped at store to buy occlusive dressings for TOT's glucose sensor, filled Thing 2's prescription for medication, downloaded form for School Health Room staff so she can take it at school. Presented Husband with birthday gifts, interrupted by late night door bell which can only mean one thing on October 24: we've been boo'ed. Dismayed to see all three girls abandon their Dad's modest and delayed birthday celebration. Opened door to collect dollar store Halloween treats and allowed dogs to escape. Nobody wants to go keep MIL's dog company.

Less than 12 hours until all of these people leave my house and it becomes conceivable that some of this madness will stop.

News from the front lines: anxiety and books

2010-10-05T23:15:00.006-04:00

Three weeks ago (I think) my MIL passed out in the back yard as she was making her way slowly about the business of preparing to bathe her dog. Fortunately (or not as we will consider later), her older brother was with her and he was able to help break her fall so she pretty much just slid down the side of the house and landed on her butt sitting up. Rob happened to be home for some reason, perhaps so we could actually talk face to face uninterrupted. Off in the ambulance, some odd things on a chest Xray.

My MIL is 83. Her brother is 85 and spends a week with us each September. But mostly just her because he drives us batshitcrazy. But we love him. In a one-day-a-year kind of way.

Here are the high points:

1. Dilaudid makes my MIL delusional. And a bit meaner than usual. And escalates her suspicious nature to full-on paranoia. She was no ones' favorite patient and we saw that in the way she was cared for. That's always lamentable no matter how difficult the patient.
2. My MIL insisted she was able to come home; we said, "um, no" and then the pulmonologist who two days earlier told me he hadn't see MIL in several days and therefore was unable to tell me what was written in the pathology report of which he had a copy---that guy--- he said she was fine to go home. What he meant, I'm sure, was: we can care for her lungs adequately on an outpatient basis. Not the same thing.
3. Small old ladies are difficult to pick up off the ground. Its harder on the third time than the first.
4. Protection of her dignity is extremely high on my list of priorities. That notwithstanding, there are some things that could be managed much better in short term rehabilitation facilities.
5. Walking up hill is more difficult than down and we'll have to negotiate both any time we take her out. Physicians don't make house calls (unless you're Michael Jackson and then you should be veerrrrrrry careful).
6. It sucks awfully badly to lose your physical strength before your mind goes.
7. The hardest words to swallow are "I told you so". But it can be done. If you try really, really, really, really hard.
8. I know there's another thing. I'll come back. OH! I KNOW! Bronchiolitis obliterans organizing pneumonia (BOOP -- that's pretty incongruous, no?) is the most obscenely graphic disease name since black death.

We are doing the best we can. It is very difficult. The home health nurse came today, was very surprised MIL was home in her present condition and told us she should not "ambulate without supervision" until the home Physical Therapist does an assessment some time this week. Mary thinks that's just fine. The rest of us---not so much. It has helped me alot to think of my sweet cousin, Caddy Jean, who spends most of her days with people in similar situations (I mean my MIL, not me; I'm a great hang). I always put on my I'm-happy-and-not-at-all-grossed-out-or-annoyed face before I see her and so far its working. Refer to item number 1, above.

Books
I've been reading mostly books about huge disasters in the US lately and then other books that expound on various underpinnings of those events. John M. Barry has written two really exceptional books. Rising Tide, and, The Great Pandemic on the great Mississippi River flood of 1927 and the flu pandemic of 1918. I've never read history so well written. I heartily recommend both.

I haven't read a lot of fiction lately but I did speed right through a collection of short stories by Danielle Evans titled, Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self . Not everyone is a fan of short stories but I mostly certainly am. These are eight great tales of (mostly) young women, mostly African-American (I think) with varied relationship and coming of age themes. I'm looking forward to reading more from her. Looking back now, I don't recall what in this very brief NYTimes blurb called to me, but it did and I'm glad of it.

Music; Adventures in Insulin Therapy (Math Re-Mix)

2010-10-02T11:02:00.006-04:00

It's been a couple of crazy weeks: everyone in our household has had respiratory crud with fever, all of us have seen our doctors with extreme fevers. My MIL thought it would be fun to add in a major health crisis (I kid; she can't help it) and she's been in the hospital for two weeks while her OLDER brother was here visiting so the monkeys have been running the asylum. Uncle Father Fred is a retired catholic priest and completely incapable of thinking of much other than himself, his priestly world and Hawaii (he spends about six months there every year...he's never taken me).

I don't want you to miss the trees for a forest so let's get to it:

Music
I have a lot of really good new stuff but I have fallen in love with something that is a complete surprise.
Begonias by Caitlin Cary and Thad Cockrell. Caitlin Cary along with Ryan Adams and others formed up Whiskeytown which preceded Ryan Adams's efforts with the Cardinals which I like very much. Like Whiskeytown, Begonias is alt-country for real; the steel guitar whine keeps us from any delusion. I never saw my tastes heading down this road but this is a cd full of *really* good songs and stunning harmonies. Cary's voice shimmers as Cockrell's advances the melody; it's a great pairing. I listen to the entire disc very often. I hear lots of Tom Petty in the chunky guitar sounds. I have a special affection for "Something Less than Something More".... it reminds me a lot of Tift Merritt's "Trouble Over Me" with its almost apologetic request for at least the appearance of love. Heartbreak done exceptionally well.

Adventures in Insulin Therapy
That Other Thing (TOT) has been ill along with the rest of us. Type 1 diabetics are by definition folks with immunity challenges so it hit her harder than the rest of us. At first her blood glucose levels were terribly low: what little food she was eating wasn't absorbing as usual so her insulin needs were really tough to gauge. Once the fever was gone she still had a bit of cough and sniffles so I kept her home for what I thought would be one more day to keep her from causing an outbreak.

That day I detected the tell-tale smell of ketones on her breath: high blood sugar? Really? She'd been so low for days. So I sent her off to see if she had ketones in her urine: HUGE. Bad, bad. We got a bunch of insulin in, had drinks and waited to see what would happen. Scary stuff. Long story short: we determined that, at least for now, her insulin dosages are increased about 200% across the board.

Glucose metabolism isn't as straight forward as many think, especially when your diet has been shifted to omit wheat flours---seems all the substitutes have metabolic challenges. So I thought I would share a little bit of insulin math with you. I'll present our insulin calculations for breakfast...you know, that sleepy meal before you're thinking clearly.

Background: TOT is currently on a multiple daily injection regimen. This means she gets insulin in two or three formulations at least five times per day and mostly more. They fall into two general classes: slow rising, long acting insulin that is referred to as "basal" and is meant to serve the purpose of metabolizing sugars pumped into the blood stream by the liver...just regular stuff we all do. Basal insulin supposedly has no peak and acts for 24-hours. We've found we don't get good results unless we divide her daily basal into two injections: day and night. The second type are faster and shorter acting insulins that are given with food or given to quickly reduce high blood sugars. Some of them peak faster and are used up fast, some stay around longer and peak lower.

Before Wednesday, Lindsay was receiving 1 unit of insulin for every 25 g of carbohydrates at breakfast time and 1 unit per 22g carbohydrates at all other times of day. She had a correction factor of 1:90 - 100 mg/dl, meaning if her blood sugar is high she should have 1 unit of insulin for every 100mg/dl in excess of her target blood glucose which is now 150 mg/dl.

Ready?

TOT wanted to have Cinnamon Rice Chex (CRC) for breakfast. Its one of the few cereals we've found that will accommodate her grain restrictions and doesn't bedevil us with glucose challenges we just can not manage. General Mills reports that CRC has 25g of carbohydrates per serving which they put at 30g of cereal. ha. We put a bowl on a scale and put cereal in the bowl until TOT said when. 52 grams of cereal.

52 grams of cereal/30 grams of cereal per serving means we were looking at 1.73 "servings" of CRC.

1.73 servings at 25 grams of carbohydrates per serving gives us a meal of 43 grams of carbs.

At breakfast TOT uses an insulin to carb ration of 1:25 since she's usually more sensitive to insulin in the AM, but we were late getting up so we used a factor of 1:22. With 43 grams of carbs, that gives us a need for 2 units of insulin. Since she's been ill, however, we've had to increase her bolus ratios by about 150 - 200% so we were looking at about 3 - 4 units; we could call it 3.5 units and be close.

We know that CRC tends to have two metabolic peaks: a fast, high peak and then a long period of no glucose making it into the blood stream for about 4 hours when we see a smaller increase that sustains for a while. That puts us in the position of having to use two different "fast-acting" insulins to get both a fast insulin peak and a later increase that lasts a while---all while not overdoing the shorter insulin and ending up with a huge and dangerous drop in blood glucose while we wait for the rest of the sugar to go live. Experience has shown us that Lindsay can eat CRC with a 1:2 ratio of Novolog (high peak and short activity) to Regular (lower peaks, longer activity).

A 1:2 ratio applied to 3 units would give a neat and easy to measure accurately dose of 1 unit Novolog and 2 units Regular. We'd need to try to finesse a bit more of each to get to 3.5 - 4 units. Our syringes have 0.5 unit scales but are really tough to eke out small differences. Of course we might use our handy injector pens except Regular doesn't come in a pen and never mind: with pens its a half-unit click or nada; no wiggle room. We won't know for certain whether our assumptions and estimates are correct for 6 hours because that's how long it takes to clear all of the insulin we'll give her. Of course we could always check midway and try to regress blood glucose against what insulin we think is still active... graduate level statistics, that.

So that's the cereal. We needed to measure her blood sugar to see if we needed a correction factor. Holy Cow, her blood sugar was 350! Wow. Two units of extra Novolog for that correction in usual times but we're needing a more these days...still, I'm reluctant to double a 2 unit correction so I go for 150%: 3 units of Novolog to correct before bolusing for food.

So there we are:
Fast peaking short acting insulin in the amount of about 1 for cereal and 3 for correction: about 4 units

Slower peaking, longer acting insulin in the amount of about 2 but probably closer to 2.5 to hedge the measuring challenges.

Two injections almost ready to go. But guess what? There's not one more vial of Regular in the fridge. I was wrong. And without Regular, there's no cereal. So we start over with a different menu.

Thanks for taking this adventure with us! Our insulin pump is supposed to arrive on Monday but we can't begin to use it until we get further word from the insurance company about their coverage and not until we see our doctor for the start-up session. The pump should help a LOT with this stuff. But that's another adventure.

After a long hiatus...

2010-09-14T12:24:00.002-04:00

I'm checking in. I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to more frequent blogging but Lyman is. Check out his new blog on WordPress. It looks great and I love the mobile browser version for WordPress. As far as I know its much better than Blogger but I haven't checked Blogger in a while....

What's Up
Everyone is back in school which has largely meant that I am also at school to observe as the staff become accustomed to That Other Thing's (TOT's) diabetes needs. Its been difficult...her glucose levels are very high on school days, mostly not on weekends (which makes us suspect she is terribly excited about school and adrenaline is complicating things). Its been hard to know whether we should wait this out or increase her insulin and risk her returning to her normal level and then having a hypoglycemic episode at school.

We are in the thick of transitioning to insulin pump therapy with integrated continuous glucose monitoring. It should make our lives a bit more simple and give TOT a lot more freedom. We're hopeful we'll get insurance coverage for the market's most advanced device, the Medtronic MiniMed Paradigm Revel (I swear these devices have more names than circuitry...) in case anyone is curious.

Our endocrinology practice has a pretty structured process for beginning pump therapy: six months on a basal/bolus multiple daily injection regimen with demonstrated competence, three in-service like education sessions, psychiatric evaluation (we still don't understand the value of that but they didn't discover our insanity so its OK) and then the pump starts with a 1 week saline trial and then we should be live. We also had to sign an agreement to not leave the region for one month after the insulin pump goes on so that if anything goes awry they will be on hand to ascertain the problem and make adjustments. So we are now at the point where all that remains is the last educational session (which is followed by opportunities for vendors to demonstrate their wares) and then begin the insurance certification process. If I understand correctly that could mean our insurance company will have our request by the end of this week. Please cross your fingers for us.

More Fun
Soccer is underway for the autumn season; spouse is coaching Things 1 and 2 team with most of last year's team but a few lost as the coach decided to jettison the league we've been playing in and see if circumstances were better for the girls in another league. So they have new team colors and therefore a new name: The Flying Camels. I rather like it for its enigmatic quality. TOT is playing with the same coach, same group of families she has played with the last two years---they also have new team colors: orange and white. I'm lobbying heavily to name this team the Orange Navels but I anticipate being overrun by the rather unimaginative favorite, Orange Crush. Bastards.

Today is Yom Kippur and I wish all of my Jewish friends an easy fast and day of valuable introspect. For us it means a day of no school---for Thing 1 it means going to a movie with friends and no grownups. I don't even know the parent who is doing the dropping and picking up.

I'm OK with it.

Another verse, different from the first

2010-07-16T22:11:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow the girls and I are taking off for a visit of undetermined length at my units' house. We do this trip often enough---we typically think of everything we might need or want, shove it in the back of the minivan and get things rolling.

My Mommy-mobile is getting old: 10 years. It has 100K+ miles and for the last 40K there has been this undiagnose-able rumble coming from the rear axle...not only makes for a loud passenger cabin but it worries me a little. This year, we drive the Eurosedan that is wholly Rob's--- a gift from his mother and myself for not actually dying when we thought he was going to a couple of years ago. He likes being alive (and we like it, too) and he really likes his car. Its a very gracious loan: I know he does not want to drive the minivan for whatever portion of the time he's here (he's joining us at some point).

Problem: not nearly as much storage or cabin space. I think its likely that the US military has engaged in conflicts with lesser logistical staging than this trip has required. Clothing, entertainment and food all organized by the time at which they'll be needed and the space the packing containers will occupy. You know what's a really big deal? Auto manufacturers have yet to develop a cabin space for a lady-driver's handbag. In the minivan, there's this nice little floor space between the front Captain seats---in the sedan: nada. I suppose my bag will sit behind my left foot or something.

You know what else is a really big deal? Food and diabetes supplies for the kid with not one, not two, but three metabolic diseases. Good lord: I've done the best I can:

Gluten free snacks, portioned and labeled
"Emergency" sandwich for L in case we have a harder time finding lunch or dinner fare than I think we will.
Box of cereal for breakfast on Drive Day 2 and also to guard against the need to find gluten free meals as soon as I arrive in Tampa. I know its overwhelming to contemplate preparing to feed her--I'm sure my Mom will need some guidance once we arrive.
A loaf of gluten free bread in case we have to resort to supermarket excursions for additional sandwich fixin's. Did you all know that its a bit of a challenge to find a grilled chicken breast fillet in a fast-food outlet that isn't plumped and juicy with sugary solutions that include gluten? True. But Chick-Fil-A---they have the goods. And they even fry their waffle fries in separate fryers than their breaded chicken so folks with wheat issues can still have some fries.

So. If there's no room in the car, really, for my purse; if our trunk is quite full of suitcases (as minimalistic as we could be) plus the few amusements I've allowed the girls to bring along, if I'm already taking up a chunk of the cabin space with twice as many diabetes supplies as I think I'll need (that's what the rule of thumb is...), if I've prepared for most food contingencies---where do the kids sit?

With about 10 hours left till we roll, we each have a bag of our own with amusements and some of the snacks for both the drive and hotel stay, a community bag with jammies and changes of key clothing for day 2 as well as a shared cache of personal care items. That should get us in and out of the hotel with one tote each plus two shared bags; the rest will sit quietly in the trunk and stay out of trouble. Strike Force Mullen. Ninjas. Commandos. Here and gone before you know what has happened...I hope its that smooth.

I have greater aspirations for this Tampa trip than I do typically. Stay tuned for updates. In the next post I intend to discuss how I came to my final decision as to whether I should bring my own tequila and/or scotch or plan to drink my Dad's. Riveting stuff. Be sure to tune back in.

By the way, I made my own play lists this time. You guys gave me nada last time. Thanks.

Anna is 10!

2010-06-29T19:23:00.004-04:00

I didn't get to attend Carrie and Lyman's wedding 10 years ago this past week because I was juuuuussssttt about to have Anna. Born she was and we were expecting to catch up on all the Indianapolis/Martinsville scoop when my Mom and Dad were SUPPOSED to come meet Anna.EXCEPT: my Mom chose to have a heart attack instead. So after a day in the hospital, a day of partying with the wedding people, she went home.
Quite the series of events for this family to remember at this time of year, isn't it?

Anna has a hard time gathering enough people for a party...following about 2 weeks after school lets out here, invariably half of the people she'd like to invite are off on adventures of their own. We managed to squeak in a few girls (seriously: one girl left the following morning for six weeks in Russia) for a pool and slumber party. I made adorable pool totes filled with dollar store gems like surprisingly cute sunglasses, body lotion, leis, goggles. And bubbles, candy, natch. (Edit: add photo of bags)

Simple T-Corner Tote, Reversible
(no pattern)

We made our own pizza this year and I gotta tell ya: it was easily every bit as good as most of what gets delivered around here and the girls had a blast putting them together. It cost about half as much as delivery; nice.

Pictures later but for now, just this: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNA! Mom: take care of your heart. Myocardial infarction at 58 is no joke.

Birthday: Mine, Dad's, Anna's

2010-06-23T19:08:00.005-04:00

I had a birthday. It sucked. Don't worry about not remembering: no one did and it wouldn't have mattered. I'm over it. I will say this: its one thing for your Mom to have not mailed your bday gift to arrive on time. Its another when she hasn't even shopped for it yet. But we all have our moments so that was that.

Every year, I buy myself a gift. Its almost always new music although sometimes it might be music gadgets: my Sennheiser earphones, my Otterbox case that allows me to swim with my iPod. This year? All music. I keep a running list of cds I want but I can't justify purchase of at the particular moment. Some of you will laugh because you know: I place almost NO limitations on purchase of new music...that's fair: I don't buy a lot of clothes, fancy purses or liquor. I like for Rob to buy my jewelry and mostly, my gadget obsession has been covered by AT&T contract renewal incentives so we're cool. Rob has all the books he wants, I have my music.

Here's what I've bought for myself this year:

Patty Griffin -- 1000 Kisses
The Avett Brothers -- I And Love And You
The Decemberists -- The Crane WifeGentleman Jesse -- Gentleman Jesse
Iron and Wine -- Our Endless Numbered Days
Paul Westerberg -- Folker
Gillian Welch -- Time (the Revelator)

I was sure I'd bought more than this but hey....look at me going all moderate! I've yet to hear The Decemberists or Iron and Wine nor all of Gentleman Jesse but so far, so good. The Avett Brothers disc was produced by Rick Rubin: not bad for a relatively unknown North Carolina bunch of Roots-rockers. And it sounds VERY good. Patty Griffin is a little more twangy than I usually go for but I get why people are nuts for it: the lyrics are magical and resonate deeply. Paul Westerberg appears to be what I love most: cynical musings on life thus far, which is (I'm sorry to say) a little bit sad nostalgia for youth and glad-to-be-done-with-it middle age...and all of the scrapes in between.

Most of these selections were culled from Paste Magazine's 50 Best Albums of the Aughts. I was really thinking about Loretta Lynn's Van Lear Rose based on the glowing reviews but you know...I couldn't do it. Has anyone heard it? I certainly grew up in a household that loved country and western (as it was then called most frequently) and during the time that Ms. Lynn was the undisputed queen of the genre. And who doesn't love "Coal Miner's Daughter"? If I had one objection to Paste's lists it would be that they seldom include jazz or R&B---and when they do, you can feel how much they begrudge giving props to artists outside the indie roots/rock universe.
Rob found this and threw it my way. Interesting, this discussion of jazz-bots...WTF? I was pleased to see Brad Mehldau's epic piece of work, Highway Rider, included in the "Top Five Thus Far in 2010" but felt like their endorsement was somehow less sincere for spending about half the discussion on how its not like his previous work with quartets and trios, riffing on popular music and standards.

Dad and Thing 2
Dad and Thing 2 have birthdays a week apart, Dad's just two days after mine... we get a little burned out on birthdays around here. For the first time in years, Dad actually gave me some gift ideas....I told him I was all out of "I don't know" and "I don't care". And it was really easy: Dad loves nothing more than to eat out on someone else's dime so a gift card it was to Outback.

Middle Daughter will have her birthday party on Saturday, just a few days early so week night issues don't preclude the revelry. She'll be ten and that makes it the last year we do the traditional birthday soiree. We'll be taking a minivan full of girls to the pool and home for a slumber party. Theme: Luau. I have to get cracking on gift bags that will take the form of beach bags with standard beach/pool equipment---which I will ideally find at the dollar store... wish me luck.

A photo of the birthday girl and her sleepover guests from last night...

Movie suggestions for T2's party? I have no idea....

What's the Problem?

2010-06-20T19:00:00.004-04:00

Tim Burton's film adaptation "Alice in Wonderland" was released on DVD recently. Pity we didn't get to see it in theaters in 3-D---must have been terrific. The handful of digital 3D flicks I've seen in the last year or two are awesome and better with each release. I had been eager to see this film from the moment heard this: Wonderland, Burton, Bonham Carter, Depp. I heard very little about it, though, while it was running in its theater release.

And then it made it to DVD VERY fast---always a sign that the box office wasn't all the studio had anticipated. So I ordered it, I watched it, I LOVED IT. I watched it again and then, again. And then I bought it to have on my iPhone because I found I was wanting to watch it more than my kids did.
I did some light googling for reviews and turns out the critics didn't like it so much. And it didn't do so well with audiences eithers. This I do not understand. Perhaps, just perhaps, that's because people are either very strongly attached to the book (never read it) or the other film adaptations (not so sure I've seen any of them start to finish)---the story never held my interest previously.
But Tim Burton is fabulous and dark and odd. And his quirks with Carroll's psychedelic adventure was a perfect pairing... the costumes, the sets, the madness all made the perfect platform for Johnny Depp who was MAGNIFICENT as the Hatter. I must say: his costume (as well as Bonham Carter's) was so awesome, I could freeze frames over and over just to get the minutiae of it:

I love the Hatter's bandolier of thread spools. Want one for myself. There were actually some really awesome bonus features on the DVD, one of which was the costuming piece and another about the production piece...amazing blending of pure CGI, CGI/live capture and then purely live capture elements. It was a fantastic piece of work.

Anybody else see it? Whatcha think?

The Celiac Change

2010-06-19T12:13:00.004-04:00

So I hate that all I seem to post are the details of TOT's health issues, but I need to document it: I can't help it if you keep coming back to see what you'll find :)

As expected, she is Celiac positive. At this time, to prevent complications of disease (growth retardation, malnutrition, increasing loss of intestinal function, intolerance to lactose, increase of autoimmune issues, etc) the only strategy at this time is complete elimination of wheat and wheat-derived products from the diet. And actually, not just wheat: there's a family of wheat like grains (distinguished by their outer coats) that include rye, barley and many others.

Its a huge task; wheat-derived products, specifically gluten-related stabilizers, emulsifiers, thickeners are found in places you'd never imagine: lip balm, ice cream, many, many shelf-stable products---salad dressings, ketchup, barbecue sauce, SOY SAUCE for heaven's sake!... but not only is the playing field very broad, the table is also unbalanced because food manufacturers are not required to explicitly state that products contain glutenous byproducts---so some things that are problems don't appear so: laboratory sounding things like maltodextrin (malt anything, actually) and ingredients so benign as "hydrolyzed vegetable protein". And just in case things aren't sufficiently difficult, food manufacturers are not required to label individual elements in flavoring mixes that are approved by the USDA/FDA for use in "upstream" production of a final product and over time, large manufacturers may change providers and there is often a change in content: bottom line---label reading to the nth degree, all of the time. A long established "safe" product may well suddenly become one that causes a flare-up.

I know we're lucky--we have both Whole Foods and Trader Joe's close by---both have extensive gluten-free options and staff who are knowledgeable and HELPFUL. In fact, I was surprised last night to find a fair offering of a few of the best regarded GF foods in our every day grocery store. Still...its more of a challenge for all of the residents here.
I've been feeling badly for Thing 1 and Thing 2---Rob is great about having fun with them but I don't like how divided our family time has become. Lindsay's insulin requirements have been pretty volatile and we're just beginning to understand metabolism of "mixed meals"...e.g., a meal with a lot of fat and a lot of carbohydrates can be terribly unpredictable and require LOTS of vigilance; lots of sleeplessness nights. So we're getting smarter about consciously making decisions that could impact our enthusiasm for activities on the agenda or wish list for the next day...likewise physical activity: we're just not certain enough of her response to have a day filled with activity and then add in a food item we aren't completely certain of.

Its a blessing that it is now summer. We are all happy enough with long days in the pool, a bag of oranges, pretzels (gotta find some gluten free replacements....), crudites and some drinks. We don't need much more than that between now and September. But so long as we're on the subject: I surely wouldn't mind a bit more sleep.

And now, for something entirely different

End of the school year means time to thank our teachers and counselor for all their really heroic efforts in behalf our children and their educations. Its always a bit of a dilemma...the gifts shouldn't be too lavish but they should convey genuine appreciation, it helps if you know the teacher a wee bit but it never seems enough. This year, it was small card holder type four-pocket wallets that I made. Lindsay's teacher is young woman who loves pink, her iPhone, crafting and coffee....so we had lovely pinky wallets (floral and stripes; pretty) with iTunes and Starbucks gift cards. I also cut credit card sized pieces of card stock to make small thank you notes that the girls personalized. Pretty pleased, I am.

Happy Father's Day tomorrow to all the Dads.... that you know of ;-). Love to all!

Unhappy Day

2010-06-11T17:53:00.005-04:00

Today was a big day for TOT---endoscopy to confirm Celiac Disease. Type 1 diabetics get the star treatment at National Children's Hospital surgery center: first cases of the day. Seven-thirty procedure? Please report to check-in with ID, Insurance card and signed consent by 5:45 AM. yeah. Did us the big favor of dodging most of the commuter rush into DC---yay?

They know their stuff---had the diabetes management down for the morning, let her wear her diabetes bracelet, all that. We had a little time then in this kick-ass play room: Wii stations, books, movies, art and craft supplies; great stuff. And what else? Not one, but TWO full time nurses that are "child life specialists" whose job is to make sure the kid knows what is going down and is happy about it...and if not----hey--here's a free dolly for you! But seriously: while we waited for the team to be all ready, the child life specialist brought TOT some brand new, pointy crayons (to keep!). She also brought to TOT the face mask that they were going to use for the first phase of anesthesia induction---the idea being, have her sniff some happy gas and go to sleep then place all of the IV lines, leads, catheters, bite guards and get the procedure going. This mask, the critical piece in taking TOT from awake and a little worried to ready for a procedure that she'd have no knowledge or memory of, this they allowed her to decorate with stickers and paint with bubble-gum perfumed oil to make the (nasty smelling) gas smell GREAT! Not so much. It also kind of burns. And it kind of feels like you're suffocating.

So with the nurse anesthetist, the surgeon and the anesthesiologist, Rob and I walked Lindsay down the loooong corridor to the procedure room. Which was very cold and cramped and full of odd things. And you know---there is just something really scary about that bed (table) right smack in the middle surrounded by all those things to be used on you for purposes little understood. She balked. She backed as far against the wall as she could. I swept her up in cradled arms and lay her on the table with her favorite bunny and they put the mask over her face as she began to cry. And cry. And kind of scream. And finally, she flailed her arms and kicked at the face of one person standing by and before the kick was landed, it was caught at the moment she fell off to sleep.

I'm a cool cookie about things clinical but her fear, making her face it, that was not something I'd like to do again.

The surgeon walked us to the waiting area (note: no Wii or movies for the waiting Moms and Dads...helloooo? Where are MY new crayons? How about a little woozy gas?) and asked if I would be OK (he's a terrific doc). Thus assured, he went back to get the party started. It was ten, maybe fifteen, minutes until he came looking for us to report out on the procedure. He showed us pictures of her innards, which looked exactly like they should, healthy or no. Just as he said, "Ok, we'll call with results next week. The recovery room folks will call you back just as soon as the OR staff report out---likely before she's awake", the buzzer went off and he walked us back to find Lindsay sitting up in her bed, pink cheeked and smiling, watching Nickelodeon.

She swore she didn't remember anything but as the day has passed she has asked questions about why certain things happened--things she claimed to have no recollection of when asked previously. Why couldn't we stay in the procedure room, the gas smelled so bad, and: it seemed to her that she was asleep for a looong time.

I'm so glad its over. I almost don't care what the results are: we'll adjust. I would simply NOT like to have another kid breathing gas through a mask again. I've said it before, I'll say it many more times: I am ten years older now than I was in February.

Oh---and for those following this plot line, our meeting at school finally got what we are due: Section 504 accommodations for school, both health and academic in addition to an agreement to keep her with her class cohort. That saga, dear readers, is one ugly story with a great ending---for another day.

Knit
In case you've been one of the fortunate people who have not yet been forced to ooh and aah over my latest piece of work please see this:

Interested folks can find details on my Ravelry page . Its a lovely, super soft merino wool stole; about 20 inches wide and 72 inches long---perfect for wrapping up against the fall/winter chill.

Mommy Brag

2010-05-27T00:03:00.003-04:00

Might as well call a spade a spade, right? Tonight was Thing 1's Spring Concert. I missed the winter concert because of someone being ill so I was really looking forward to the event tonight. I've noticed HUGE improvements in her playing this year and I'm so pleased.

Middle School---there's a jazz band (yes, a jazz band; an after school "clinic"), the sixth grade beginners, sixth grade intermediates (that's where Thing 1 is), seventh grade intermediates and an advanced band. The jazz band opened and I gotta tell you---it was waaaaaayyyyyy better than I would have expected. A couple of complaints: too many solos (everyone wants a moment) and too few females. But to me, the very idea of introducing the rudiments of improvisation at this early point is such a gift. I wish, I wish, I wish I'd had that opportunity.

Sixth grade beginners---better than you might think, lots of intonation issues but some style, some dynamics and rhythms more sophisticated than I recall playing. Thing 1's group was next and they played about five numbers---a march, some Dvorak selections (nice work on dynamics, kids!), theme from The Incredibles and Louie, Louie which also included some improved soloing from each of the sax players...it was GREAT! Awards were presented for each ensemble and young Thing 1 was recognized as the most improved player and I just burst out in tears---I know she's worked hard and that she's really loving it. And I know her band director really has her attention and respect. And that, my friends, is the foundation for a long, happy relationship in school music instruction.

Yadda yadda, everything else was great. The last two numbers were so cool---each year they allow eight grade musicians to compete for a guest conducting spot and this year's honoree directed Soul Man and did it really well. The finale is what they called an Instant Concert where the Advanced Band invited all alumni of the school's bands to join them on stage and play a fun number that is basically 8 to 16 bars of about 50 recognizable pieces of classical, holiday and pop music compositions. Energetic and kind of hilarious.

I can't wait for Anna's show tomorrow night. I think a group of first year viola players (who by the way meet for a max of one hour per week) might be a lot less compelling. Just in case, I'm bringing my iPhone for games or Facebook whining...stay tuned!

BTW

That other thing will be seven tomorrow. SEVEN. NFW. She met the pediatric gastroenterologist today; great guy who wants to do an endoscopy and biopsy on June 11 but he's all but certain of the Celiac diagnosis.... luckily Lindsay doesn't really know what that is and I don't intend to tell her until ... another day.

Yo! Cuatro de Mayo

2010-05-04T13:55:00.004-04:00

Yes, yes: its almost Lyman's bday---happy day, Cousin. Not only is May 5 Lyman's bday, it also marks the eleven-month mark since the last post on his (?) blog...interesting.

Knitting
I've been doing some. I made this cute little thing for my third cute daughter:

Not much to say about it: snips of left over wool from other projects, a nice piece of luck in my fabric stash--done. I will say that the hearts are intarsia and although it wasn't hard, it is a bit of a pain in the arse to be handling all those bits of yarn as you carry things along. I think people who do a lot of color work have bobbins or something...

Music
Lots of good stuff here lately: I've been re-listening to Terence Blanchard's "A Tale of God's Will: A Requiem for Katrina" -- beautiful, grand and chaotic; angry. Love it. This resurgence of interest was brought about by several listens to Brad Mehldau's "Highway Rider"... I won't go on and on about it here as it has been written about quite favorably in so many other places. Its the kind of music that should be listened to as an event: lie down, have a drink; listen. I love it.

I've been going further down the Roots/Americana path with a recording from The Duhks -- the single "Mighty Storm" thunders through telling of the 1900 Galveston, TX flood. Its hard to hear it and not think "KatrinaKatrinaKatrinaKatrina". I heartily recommend this disc for its creole/cajun/caberet/folk inclinations all smushed together---really great sound. I have a couple new cds from Caitlyn Cary (formerly with Ryan Adams/Whiskeytown): one with Thad Cockrell, the other solo. Both are about what I expected but I haven't listened enough to make much of it. I'm expecting today to receive the Court Yard Hounds disc--I know little of it. Its the two non-Natalie whatever Dixie Chicks plus Jakob Dylan. I'm looking hard for something to fill the void The Wailin' Jennys have left as they haven't hit the studio in too long...

Other Pop Culture interests
Obviously, I'm in a big New Orleans mode---I'm living for Sunday evenings' Treme on HBO and also reading Rising Tide, a historical account of the Mississippi River flood in 1927. Great stuff---the least you can do is check out Treme. Good stuff, great cast, good tunes.

Idiots and Morons
On Facebook a "friend" of mine, a dude from High School, keeps making these really obnoxious status updates---like referring to supporters of health care reform as MORONS, or those who think government can get anything right as IDIOTS. I've tried to say, "hey, I'm one of those people---are you really going to call me an idiot?" and that's been pretty much the case. And while I do think that most people who disagree with me would think differently if they were to think a little more, I stop short of calling those people names.

So let me tell you about an idiotic idea held up for examination by PBS' Frontline: the health risks of childhood vaccination. The people who believe that we would all be better off without universal immunization schedules have NO clue what our population has been spared by vaccination. I think its true that science should endeavor to produce ever cleaner, safer vaccines and to limit the adverse outcomes that are legitimately the result of vaccine. But I don't think we should stop the presses until we've arrived at that point. Although I know of no one in my own age group with polio, I do know a couple of folks that contracted polio---and while I'm terribly sorry for the parents and families who have had bad vaccinating experiences, its the basic tenet of public health to prioritize the health of a community as expedient to improvement of individual health. The same people who squawk over minor vaccine reactions will be really unhappy about being exposed to kids with rubella while pregnant.

You can't have it both ways, kids. You either want to work toward eradicating disease or you choose to put everyone around you at risk of the disease. Smallpox, Polio, Yellow Fever, Malaria, Whooping Cough, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Diphtheria, HiB...terrible, terrible diseases with really awful costs of life and disability--all of them rendered completely or nearly nonexistent in the United States by the work of organized public health operating at the population level and dedicated scientists working at their benches. Compare the risks, make your decision but remember: the decision you make for your family is a decision you might be making for an entire community. We've been down the "natural" immunity path before---that's how we arrived at the vaccination schedule.

This sh*t REALLY gets under my skin...har! Hadn't seen that pun coming.

Hello April 14!

2010-04-14T13:57:00.004-04:00

I am somewhat less tired, frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, tired than yesterday. That's better.

You know what there hasn't been enough of in my life? Commentary on this season's American Idol from anyone other than my husband or our pre-pubescent daughters. So one interpretation could be that we're all tired of it or that none of the contestants are very exciting. Whaddya think?

Personally, I love Crystal Bowersox. She's got the right stuff. If she doesn't win...well, it will be just like every other season of Idol where the "winner" is determined by 13-year olds whose parents have paid for unlimited texting plans on AT&T.

Which brings me to what I think might be the most remarkable thing about Idol this season: how much of that show can they sell for product placement, endorsements, performance time, exposure of key players' breaking artists? Seriously--I think 20 years from now what Idol will be remembered for is its sky-is-the-limit approach to selling portions of their show and packaging all of those marketing ploys into the actual entertainment...crazy. But we sit there and eat that messaging up...

Rob thinks I'm cynical. I think he must have some financial interest in Ford or Coca-Cola...

In other pop culture happenings, Treme premiered on HBO Sunday. David Simon's newest project it is expected to be the story of a handful of musicians and other performers trying to scratch up a living in post-Katrina N'awlins. The cast is full of old friends from previous Simon projects and it looks like some really interesting character work. If the first week was any indication, some great jazz (and I don't mean old school New Orleans Pete Fountain swing...) is part of the plan, too. Whether it evolves into the incredible social commentary we love so much from Simon's previous works is something we'll have to give time. I will tell you that it has already changed my thinking in one way: when I die, ya'll please make sure to assemble what ever kind of second line you can manage, OK? I love, love, love the opportunity this show represents to put great contemporary jazz center stage. I hope Simon takes that and runs with it.

Report from the Garden
Beth's dogwood is in full blossom; very very pretty though decidedly crooked. My lillies-of-the-valley are pushing up through their mulch blankets in the sunnier spots, still snug in the shady places. Anna's Yoshino cherry is aflame with flowers, Lindsay's Stellate Magnolia about finished as is our baby Japanese Magnolia. We lost our two evergreens in front of the house from the weight of the winter snow: I think I will replace them with something to remind me of my Grandma. No idea yet what that will be...

Briefly...

2010-04-14T00:22:00.002-04:00

Tired, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, tired.

More medical scrutiny is required for TOT, I miss time with my older daughters, soccer is on, spring allergies are in full swing.

I have some great new tunes (thanks, Lym, for some good pointes), I'm alternating reading books with scintillating titles like Think Like a Pancreas with light fiction that is not worth the time it takes up but is indeed distracting.

How are you guys?

Wowzers---lots of them!

2010-04-02T12:30:00.003-04:00

Man, its been almost a month since my last---and what a month it's been! L's diabetes is keeping us on our toes, up all night burning the midnight oil. I'll keep things succinct by saying her insulin dose is completely wrong and we are at odds with her endocrinologist. We will be having a new one.

Yesterday we made rounds to two pharmacies to pick up the month's meds---L's have to be in a 24-hour place, the rest of us have ours at a convenient place. At the end of it all, this is what we had:

Mostly diabetes supplies, a few of which won't require monthly refills but mostly, yeah, this is what a month will look like. A few of the rx bottles are allergy and daily meds that Rob and I take and are 90-day supplies. Still, total damage? $300. WITH "good" insurance.

I will say that this load of meds cost less than last month---it seems like our insurer has adjusted our generic medication co-pays by half. Crazy. The pharmacist said lots of people had seen unexpected changes in their co-pays---how about ya'll?

Health Care Rant
Diabetes is definitely among the diseases that has a distinct socio-economic divide---Medicaid simply doesn't pay for an adequate number or quality of supplies. Medicaid covers the cost of a low accuracy blood glucose test strip, 100 per month. That allows for about 3 tests per day----with L's new diagnosis and facing many many years of disease that could become complicated, we've been testing at least 10 times per day. Now, if she were an established patient, if she were stable, we'd still be testing at least six or seven times a day MINIMUM to calculate insulin for meals and corrections...we'd want to measure to compensate for activity, we would want to test more should she become ill...so many things can change blood glucose and effect the amount of insulin that should be given. Giving too much insulin: big problems right away---giving too little, big problems over time. Its surprising to me that Medicaid would scrimp on the part of disease management that would save them money in the long run. Go ahead---let them develop kidney disease---pay for dialysis, heart surgery. Shit makes NO sense. And more than just being infuriating, people with uncontrolled Type 1 Diabetes DIE from it. Forty years ago, the life expectancy of a Type 1 diabetic was about 40 years from diagnosis and those people had at least SOME insulin...it wasn't great or even good but it was infinitely better than nothing.

Final bitch about diabetes: glucose test strips cost (retail) a little over one dollar a strip for the meter we use; I'd imagine they're all about the same. At diagnosis, the endocrinologist prescribed 200 per month, "test 6 - 8 times per day". Between learning the idiosyncrasies of the machine and our concerns about her blood glucose being very unstable, we blew through the first 200 in under 2 weeks. We got an override on the 30-day interval after the pharmacy tech got all legalistic on us and we called our insurance company ourselves (from our cell phones, right in front of him). Those were gone about 2 days before we were eligible for the next installment. Did I mention that paying out of pocket is over $200? So I called my endo and asked her to increase our monthly allotment to 300; done. Pharmacy wouldn't issue the additional 100 so we waited out two days by pulling strips from the least used of our meter packs... and then the Pharmacy SAID our insurance wouldn't cover the cost of 300 strips because the doctor's order to test at 6 to 8 times per day doesn't add up to 300. The ballsy little Pharmacy Tech had the audacity to ask "how many times per day do you NEED to measure her blood glucose?" . My answer was the kind of answer meant to tell someone they were overstepping their role and they should get the eff back where they belong. It was good and I didn't curse :) Finally, he answered my thrice asked question, "do I need to have my physician call you?" in the affirmative. But seriously: it took WAAAAYYYY too much effort and distress to get the supplies I need to care for my daughter. And I am tenacious, and I understand the rules, and I'm not afraid to go toe-t0-toe with anyone who doesn't understand or doesn't want to help in the ways they should. These are the kinds of things that effectively reduce access for other people who have coverage but don't receive all the benefits to which they are entitled and which they sorely need.

As of now, L is on Day 2 of a 96-hour continuous glucose monitoring study---should help us sort out why her insulin dosing is so difficult. We are advocating strongly for not only an insulin pump but also a personal continuous glucose monitor for her. She seems to be the right kind of patient and I'm sure it would ease our concerns a great deal.

Not Diabetes or Health Care
Spring is in full swing---the pollen count is like 7 bazillion units per cubic centimeter of air (relatively too freakin' high). Our spring break dreams of bicycling, hiking and basking in sunshine have been seriously derailed in favor of arriving at the right OTC allergy/sinus cocktail: runny nose/post nasal drip? Dry it up with psuedoephedrine. Sinuses congested (and yes, you can have a runny nose and be congested)? Take Allegra D or Claritin. Itchy throat, watery/irritated eyes? Throw in some benadryl. Good grief.

Have I mentioned, though, that its extremely beautiful? Yes, indeed. Sixty-five degrees, sunny, no humidity and flowering trees...from behind my windshield or windows, everything looks great. Seriously: today when I went out, I covered my nose and mouth with my shirt sleeve hoping to filter out some of the pollen. I tried to not touch my face at all until I'd returned home and washed my hands...I still feel like crap....

Update: Sweet Lindsay

2010-03-03T21:23:00.002-05:00

We're a week home under our own management: FAIL. We've been testing her blood at least six times every day and we've seen 3 glucose levels in our target range. Not only that: we've been in the scary high glucose ranges more often than not. And we've been seeing some ketones in her urine. Bad, bad, bad.

Endocrinologist has adjusted her insulin twice; she is in utter disbelief that these high numbers could be valid given proper counting of carbohydrates and calculation of dosage. Not so subtle subtext: either Rob and I are dumbasses or Lindsay is eating on the down-low. I'm not buying it.

We're going to consult with another endo to see what another clinician might think. That's all I know. Except I'm tired: I'm tired of being the Mommy who does all the meal planning, research and portion control, gives shots AND gets to be the target of Lindsay's frustration.

I want a vacation.

On life and how it sometimes sucks

2010-02-24T14:36:00.002-05:00

Not Thing 1, and not Thing 2 but That Other Thing (TOT), the one that is six was just diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes . I'm using this post to disseminate info to those who need or care to know quickly. You can not imagine what kind of circus this diagnosis has set in motion with TOT and myself are in the Center Ring.

The kid has had profound fatigue issues since the beginning of the school year. So much so, in fact, that it was a REAL struggle to get what should have been 20 minutes of easy homework done most evenings, she just wanted to go to sleep or zone out. At some point she began to have trouble with night time bed-wetting and complaining of headaches. I thought there might be a problem in the classroom so I raised the question with her teacher---nothing had been noted so we just kept struggling. We got her night time potty issues taken care of but she was still really thirsty all the time and she was waking three or 4 times each night to empty her bladder. And headaches, tummy aches---vague, minor. And school wasn't really getting better...but I know TOT is a very smart and capable kid so it wasn't making sense. I don't know why I wasn't thinking there was one big problem driving all of this.

And then I noticed she was getting REALLY skinny. I mean REALLY skinny; scary thin. Still tired all the time, dark circles. We ramped up the mandatory sleeping, started working really hard to put weight on her and then---the telltale sign of human metabolism gone awry: the smell of ketones (sweet, fruity) on her breath. A quick little test of the urine in her pediatrician's office on Monday afternoon got us a free stay at the hospital where we are now.

We are learning everything we need to know...well, they're trying to tell us but its way too much to get your head around. We're working on stabilizing blood sugar at a good level and trying our best to get her hydrated, let her get rested up and allow me to figure out when I won't be too scared to allow her to be somewhere I can't see her in case I screw up or things go wrong.

And then we have to begin clearing administrative hurdles to allow the school to monitor blood sugar, to allow snacks (when we figure out when they should be...), make sure all of her teachers know how to manage her needs and recognize the bad signs. And catch up. Try to make it out of first grade by September. At least I'll get to see her in the middle of every day: she'll have insulin at least four times per day and one of them will be at lunchtime. Since school health room staff won't do that, I will.

That's alls what I know. Thanks to everyone for love and concern. We're just trying to keep our heads above the sugar-free water...

Olympics 2010 ... thus far

2010-02-19T14:35:00.003-05:00

bah. People slipping, sliding, being shot out of cannons onto slippery, cold places and expected to do tricks, land, do it faster than anyone else. BOR-ing. Snowboarding DOES look fun, though... and Shaun White is so adorable.

But the figure skating! Although I find the pairs really dull, I looooooved me some men's figure skating. Far be it from me to notice, but is it not true that those men skaters all have really awesome bootys? I loved the skating, especially the short program for its momentum---the long program can get, well, long. I think there were very few that didn't have me a little yawnish except for the biggies---Lysacek, Plushenko, Weir, Oda.

I love Johnny Weir. I love his commitment to doing things the way he pleases, I love his determination to be himself---as conflicted as he might be about that. His costumes RAWKED and he skated like a MoFo. In my opinion, the NBC commentators behaved as though he wasn't even a legitimate competitor until late in his fantastic long program.

So much fawning over Lysacek--so much made of a supposed rivalry between EL and Plushenko--- Lysacek may have outskated the others but let me tell you, the distinction between the top six skaters is largely imperceptible to me. I did have my favorite performances, though. Evan's costume sucked. He has greasy hair. Bleh.

There were many references (from Fleming and Hamilton) to "Weir's sound bytes" intended to distract the media from...whatever. All I can say for certain is that every time I've heard Lysacek speak of Weir, he has made snide innuendos about Weir's image and implications for his personal life. Dude looks like a lady? So what?! EL might have won a gold medal but you won't convince me he has any grace.

Is it just me or is Stephane Lambiel just beautiful in a very manly way?

Snowverkill, 2010

2010-02-10T19:21:00.002-05:00

Soooo.... the walks are all cleared and treated. Blizzard round 2: white out conditions caused utility and governmental seniors to order all crews back to home bases: no roads being cleared, no power being restored. Aroud here power is iffy---a little here, a little break, a big outage, a tease of flickering power....

We're fine. Just a little bored. I continue to be thankful for tequila, hot baths, battery powered speakers and my iPod, this cute little battery powered light for reading.

I'd better let someone else use this laptop before the power steals our connectivity again...

Snowmageddon, 2010

2010-02-07T19:32:00.003-05:00

Yeah--its a LOT of snow. I mean a LOT of snow. The accumulation in our yards was right at the average of 30 inches...

We awoke on Saturday to a power outage which I didn't sweat too much because I can deal with no television. And also because I have candles and books and radios and knitting and our house is heated by natural gas and we have a gas stove... I also have a zillion-band hand-crank generator radio with flashlight, siren, whatever. Allegedly it will also charge a number of cell phones---but not one of them would be manufactured by Apple....

It was cold. Cold. We were horribly teased with power for about 45 minutes (which like a good scout I put to use immediately charging my priority devices ( no jokes, please), my husband did not). That last sentence is a direct challenge to your ability to apply Boolean logic.

I'd like to say that just now, the Saints are having to work very hard for little reward and that makes me happy. They have missed more than a couple 3rd and short efforts and I love that. Its gotta be demoralizing for them; awww...

Back to Snowmageddon. So the power went back out. We'd discovered that we'd overlooked a serious issue in reducing our carbon footprint by installing electronic thermostats: they're powered by AC and so our gas heat...? Not happening. Our gas fireplace was somewhat helpful for the a range of about 5 feet where the flame would radiate---but the blower? AC powered. Did I mention the roads were REALLY impassable? And that there was an order that ONLY public safety personnel and hospital staff traveling to work were allowed to be on the roads. So.

We planned to (and did) cook some soup before the sun went down; it could be easily reheated whenever... candles distributed, made plans for all of the Robert Mullen family to sleep en masse in our budoir and have Rob's Mom sleep in our family room in that radius of warmth from the fireplace. (Saints just scored another damn field goal going into the half).

About that time a stalwart neighbor knocked on our door. This would be the stalwart neighbor who is a senior Veep with Marriott. And they had happened to snag enough rooms for four neighborhood households... given that the expected low was less than 10 degrees, we accepted the kindness without a moment's hesitation.

And what a warm night it was--- when we arrived the early bunch (you know, those guys that had already shoveled their cars out...) had assembled an attractive bar and segregated the kids from the bigger kids and so it was that we drank a LOT of wine. And revealed far too much personal information which was way better than revealing flesh which appeared imminent at one point.... there was group a capella singing. Talking Heads. The Kinks. Stones. Billy Joel. They tried to make me sing Devo but I refused.

The morning dawned really early, I must say. After breakfast we all packed up to move out learning that power was stabilized in our 'hood. I was driving the lightest duty vehicle of all and I could NOT scale the first incline out of the hotel lot. And I had really had enough slides, near spin-outs and quarter mile drives in reverse to avert disaster the night before. We slid back to the hotel and here we are.

Tonight brings us the Super Bowl, The Who and Macallen 18, straight up. I have put on my jammies to reduce the likelihood that I'll sally back down to the bar for another glass. But you know, I really shoulda' brought my own bottle from home.

Safe. Warm. Happy. In my only remark about SuperBowl commercials I'll tell you that the Docker's spot featuring too many men in their skivvies, Anna said, "now that's 'Pants on the Ground' EXTREME". Kids rock.

Relatively speaking, Townsend sounds WAY better than Daltry; very surprised at how ...absent... his voice seems. I don't know how he'll make it through their upcoming Quadrophenia tour... the performance had to be collossal live, though---great production, fantastic "stage". Latifah did herself proud pre-game but I thought Carrie Underwear looked a bit too Elvis and that she really struggled to hit a lot of the notes at the expense of her usually fierce tone and support. Whitney still owns Super Bowl National Anthem performances. Have I said that Townsend rocked? Oh. Yeah.

Even after a zillion different looks at it, who the hell knows even now who recovered that loose ball from the second half kick-off? Oh. It's ON.

Whatever That Means

2010-01-31T22:41:00.002-05:00

Some time ago, a member of my family who happens to be youngish and male made a curious remark to another somebody. It had to do with me, my politics and perhaps my life choices.

The remark was something like "we (that person and myself) don't agree because I do not 'believe in' feminism". Huh. I don't think I've ever discussed feminism with that dude so it struck me as odd. He must have made observations about me and attributed my choices to feminism. Interesting.

I've never really thought of myself as a feminist. I still don't. It has made me wonder: what does it mean to be a feminist in 2010?

I think of myself as a person who will, and does, any damn thing I wish and I pity the fool that gets in my way. Feminism, in my mind, is a movement that has accomplished much and from which I have benefited greatly. I can't imagine any career I might have pursued where being female would have been a hindrance, although I think its true that inequalities of opportunity and remuneration continue to exist albeit in fewer and fewer circumstances.

For goodness sake, we've had several female Cabinet members, came damn close to having a female candidate for the US Presidency.... feminism has accomplished nearly all of the agenda feminists have embraced. This is important because I've always thought that I grew up in what is nearly the post-feminist era in the US...not that all the work is done, not that women in other circumstances do not continue to experience discrimination but for this young woman of modest origins, gender has held me back not a bit.

I chose to have a career---because I felt I had something to offer the world, because I wanted to be self-sufficient and yeah, sure, because I knew I was a lot smarter than plenty of men I had met. A fine decision it was, too, because Prince Charming was a bit late showing his face and somehow I had to pay the rent while he took his time. Choosing to have a career, I have made important contributions---some of which were kind of spectacular and many of which helped people in need. I take this to mean that being able to have a career has been a good thing for not only myself but for my community.

I chose to have a family, too. I learned a lot about myself through motherhood; I became much more aware of my creativity, my generosity of spirit, my priorities for living a good life. I've learned much about hope--because there are very few gestures humans make that convey hope for the future quite like creating another generation.

I have learned, however, that some of the feminist agenda is misleading... while women are capable of doing almost anything a man can do just as well I don't think its possible to "have it all"--at least not at the same time. The victory for feminists is that women have the choice to be very engaged in a career, to be a mother at the same time and I've also been fortunate enough to choose one priority over another at various points in time.

So I wonder: what could be objectionable in this? Why would a youngish man object to a woman having these opportunities available to her? What does it mean when a young man says he does not "believe" in feminism?

What it Is

2010-01-30T18:15:00.002-05:00

Did you guys watch the State of the Union? I can't imagine an address that was a bit more spot-0n in terms of tone, frustration and determination. What I dug especially, though, was that our President was explicit about his plans, the challenges he understands and what he is going to need from others to get things done. He fairly took the right to task for being divisive for its own sake, "

...And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that 60 votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town -- a supermajority -- then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well. Just saying no to everything may be good short-term politics, but it's not leadership. We were sent here to serve our citizens, not our ambitions. So let's show the American people that we can do it together."

Another welcome and pointed remark resonated with what I perceive as non-stop and petty bickering:

"But what frustrates the American people is a Washington where every day is Election Day. We can't wage a perpetual campaign where the only goal is to see who can get the most embarrassing headlines about the other side -– a belief that if you lose, I win. Neither party should delay or obstruct every single bill just because they can. "

Perhaps its just my perception, but I really do NOT recall any other President being so heavily scrutinized and criticized in the first year---long before they're able to get their feet under themselves. But I would encourage you to catch it a YouTube or to read the transcript at WhiteHouse.gov. It was a brilliant, sober speech that demonstrated an amazing understanding of the breadth and depth of the challenges facing our people and our government. I was thrilled, thrilled I tell you, to hear of the aid being directed to college funding for students with finiancial need.

Otherwise
We're all well. I'm feeling a LOT better, hoping to get some cycling in this week if the snow gets cleared off the roads. The kids are healthy and doing well in school. What else can I say?

2010

2010-01-12T07:24:00.002-05:00

so. Hello there! I have no idea what to toss out for you guys.

Its been a rough several months beginning with Grandma's passing at Halloween, a couple weeks of family response to the needs that generated, home for Thanksgiving and whoosh into Christmas---followed immediately by big surgery and here we are.

Christmas was great; heartwarming and rather simple. Perfect. Please don't feel singled out for neglect: between the preparations for the holiday and staring down the surgery, I really really withdrew from the world. I think maybe I'm ready to work my way back.

Item 1. is to complete submitting documents for substitute teaching. I think that's what I want to do for a while. Its fairly low commitment so it makes sense to poke my toes in those waters. I'm thinking middle school science or english kinda gigs. I can't imagine a whole day in a class room of second graders....sorry; I know myself too well. I'd be nuts and the Principal would be getting phone calls, I'm sure.

Sooooo. How 'bout those Redskins? Thanks for stopping by!

Stuff

2009-12-03T20:23:00.004-05:00

Yo, peeps! This week has flown by. Invincible genius that I am, I chose to manipulate my migraine prevention meds a bit over the last month---ended up with a KILLER migraine and no abortive meds... my good doctor thought the only way to break it would be to force sleep and lo, it was done. Two and a half days of nearly continuous sleep and the headache is gone. Of course, so are any plans I might have had for the week... can you believe there are only 3 weeks between now and Christmas? Wowzers.

Musica

New disc this week; Curt Berg and the Avon Street Quintet...20% of which is a certain Mr. Lyman Medeiros. I REALLY like it---great songs that swing, terrific saxophone and trombone foils throughout. I find I'm as crazy for trombones these days as I was for alto sax as a young person---what an amazing sound they make! Sexy. Trombone is a really challenging instrument, IMO, and Mr. Berg knows how to play one for sure. Lyman is fantastic, his solos are crisply melodic and plentiful; I love Andy Langham's piano work, too. Every other player here is quite up to the task; its a great disc for jazz fans. I love especially Midwick Man, Search Until You Find It and Double Down. I'd love to know how Lyman got hooked up with Berg... more on him here.

Guess what no one needs right before the holidays? A big auto repair bill AND an urgent need to replace one's mattress...ask me how I know. Go ahead.

Post-holiday retreat

2009-11-28T15:56:00.004-05:00

Thanksgiving is the day I usually say is my favorite; the truth is, it may well be but the net pleasure I take in it has dramatically diminished as I invariably find myself too tired and overexposed to aromas that I don't enjoy the meal a bit... but I do love the day after... "let not these feet touch the floor..." that's how I roll.

So yesterday I was definitely planning on being a slug. After about 6 hours of that, I rallied for a few errands and a run to the quilting shop to see what I might make of the quilt reclamation project I scored at Grandma's house. Here's the skinny:

1. No one ever saw it before. It might be her work, it could well be a 30-year old estate sale purchase that she thought she'd finish and then...
2. pieced and quilted by hand, the thing still has basting threads and pins in it.
3. based on the fact that we'd never seen it before and the apparent age of the pins, I'm thinking this quilt was last worked in the late sixties or early seventies---some long ago time but not so long that I'm not finding the occasional piece of polyester double knit (zoinks!) in the blocks.
4. Its totally NOT my style but it has some redeeming features---some strong geometry that I can exploit in finishing as well as a definite plum-ish color to be played up.

Let's take a look:

From left to right, top to bottom:
1. I have no idea what this pattern is; these six-sided units are about the size of a US quarter. Looking from the back I can see these units were assembled in long chains and then joined sequentially in each dimension, offsetting each row to arrive at the final diamond shape with white-ish border.

Oh. My. god. My hands hurt just considering the cutting task not to mention the piercings of sharp quilting needles. Oy. Does anyone know what this quilt might be called (besides torture)?

2. I think I included this photo to show the back is quilted in place with cotton batting right where you'd expect it but there's no border in place...? I trimmed this piece before photographing it; you can't believe how unwieldy it was to handle with three unfinished cotton layers, all beginning to fray and ... bleh. I wouldn't be surprised if this backing error, combined with the edging challenges are what derailed the project.

3. Those are the new pieces of fabric with which I'm going to try to coax any hidden possibility out of this piece. I'm going for a strong orange/gold frame of about 1 inch and a wide border of the deepest plum which is a nice piece of variable saturation. Should knock the hell out of this kind of frenetic theme going on just now. I *do* actually think there's something very pretty here but getting it to be something I will appreciate in my daily life is something still undecided.

Don't you love the fabric (nod your head yes!!!)? Picking quilting fabric is all about (for me) going one or two steps beyond my idea of what is fitting or matching; this kind of thing is sort of similar to what I hear when I listen to jazz or blues for the record: a little dissonance to underscore the harmonics... so there are two pieces that are kind of iffy until I place them together and see if I'm right: the green/goldbrown large figured one and the smaller figured, very predictably patterned gold piece with some jewel tones.

4. Look at the relative straightness of these other two edges...full block pieces or something; this quilt construction continues to baffle me; I'm not yet certain it was all set in chains. Of course the straight edges are the shorter ones...

And this is the biggest task, most challenging. I spent a couple of hours today trying to decide if I should create big fabric pieces that would set in the moving edge and produce a straight edge upon which to sew the border, trying to engineer a template. Given that this is a full sized quilt, three free edge layers, there's just NFW that is happening. I'm thinking I'll create my own straight edge in the top by attaching the frame and border to the midline of those full diamonds and then cut the concealed halves off---they could possibly be used as applique or other embellishments for the back.

So that's where most of the fabric comes in---if I am NOT right about the balance of color and making a good transition from a very old school piece to a modern millennium quilt, I'm going to piece some blocks, somehow, to embellish the back. Stay tuned. I have...

not a single clue what I'm doing. Into the abyss!

Back together...

2009-11-22T20:34:00.005-05:00

I was away for 2 weeks---17 days, I think? And as soon as I came home, Rob was on the road for a week of (monkey) business in New Orleans. He finally came back last night and we are oh so happy for the upcoming holiday and long weekend.

The work at Grandma's was tough stuff: emotionally and physically--it was nearly Herculean to go through her house separating trash from more trash from stuff some crazy person might pay for from stuff your cousin might want from stuff you'd better stash in your bag right now in case someone else wants it... (I kid, I kid; I wouldn't do that...) Truthfully about 85% of what was in that house was trash and was probably trash when she decided to stash it in a drawer rather than throw it away 30 years ago... The real challenge was that at the bottom of any drawer full of unopened promotional mail there might be a really special picture of your grandfather's father---you know, the one you'd never even seen a photo of previously...

I found myself really drawn to the stuff of her every day life, the tools with which she built her life as a wife and mother: beautiful old Club Aluminum pans, sewing scissors. So while it is wonderful to have brought home her china and a lovely quilt, I'd have easily let someone else take those if I'd had to in order to claim these for my family:

one pair of Delft windmills (the blades spin!!), Lenox RCA Victor doggies (they bark! not really...) and random cut crystal salt/pepper shakers. I'm not a collector of anything, really, but over these last several years my husband has occasionally surprised me with salt and peppers that just totally crack me up. It seemed right to bring these home.

The US Capitol and Washington Monuments were the first, before we were married. If you've visited our house for a meal, I'm sure you've heard Rob say we should honor your presence by using the "good stuff" by which he means these. Two years ago I found the delightful Buddhas by Neiman Marcus in the bottom of my stocking and last year, this Taiwanese family (the Chens) was the brightest spot of my Christmas in the hospital. I'm happy to add Grandma's contributions to this non-collection. Do NOT buy me salt and pepper shakers. If you have some I like, I'll ask you for them, OK?

To my great surprise Grandma and Grandpa had a fairly large collection of LPs---a pretty even mix of secular/non-secular stuff, too; whodduthunk I'd find Marty Robbins among their holdings? At any rate, I was lucky enough to bring them all home to catalog and possibly digitize any interesting bits. If any of you have any interest in old LPs that my grandparents would have enjoyed, just let me know. I anticipate having scads to give away.

For those of you following developments: I've been given the green light to proceed with that surgery I've talked about. December 29th. Can't wait. Great news. I've already begun to contemplate new wardrobe purchases.

I miss my Mom. I'm glad she's thinking she'll come hang out with me while I recover. Oh, and just in case you haven't seen it already, me and my niece put ideas and design talents together to create an image honoring Beth Ann, especially as this last week marked the fifth anniversary of her leaving too soon. We'd decided it should be inked in a place where I might easily appreciate it without being any more obvious than absolutely neccessary. While in Tampa, she went with me to a tattoo parlor and I have this beauty on the inner aspect of my left ankle/heel:those are Beth's initials shaping the torso of one of her many treasured frogs; she absolutely loved tree frogs. And for those concerned, please note that it is NOT infected; my skin is a bit sensitive to the ink but my doctor thinks its OK. Plus I'm taking some doxycycline just in case. I never really planned on being a multiply tattoed girl but this idea was really too compelling to let go by and I'm really attached to my little flower so here I am... its a good thing you guys already know I'm such a fine upstanding citizen, right??? Oh, and in case you need more proof of my character, Mom and I ended up back at the tattoo place a couple of nights later and on the way home we spent a couple of hours checking out hookahs in a hookah bar! Terribly fun to be silly and adventurous with my Mom; I don't get so many opportunities to do so these days.

One more day...

2009-11-16T05:43:00.004-05:00

Ten and a half hours of driving a rental truck full of Grandma remembrances yesterday; about another eight today and I'll be home. Sixteen days of saying good bye and clearing out 93 years of the stuff of life, trying to keep us all together and at peace. Big job; not always done well.

"..candle burned for everything I ever wanted;
a tattoo burned for everything I ever wanted and lost."
---A Common Disaster, The Cowboy Junkies

Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of Beth's passing; again I'm wondering if/when a person ever stops noticing the day coming and going. This year there was much talk of making a lasting sign of our loss. Big thanks to Kelley who traded ideas with me and put her pens to paper and arrived at this design, now tattooed above my left ankle. Sitting cross-legged on my bed or on the floor, her initials are easily ready, hopping away with our hearts in her arms. I like it very, very much. .The healing is NOT going as well as I'd like and I think I might have to see a doctor when I get home---she looks infected despite much bacitracin and great care. But it looks GREAT, good color and perfect representation of Kelley's drawing; I love her blue eyes. Its still peeling a little bit and looks a little shiny here because of the ointment I have applied. Really, I'm going to be very happy as soon as its well healed. Do you like?

I'm still waking up like an old man: wide awake this morning at 5AM--but I suppose its a great chance to get an early roll on the road. Don't wanna.... you know: television at 5AM is pure crap. I'm going to turn out my light and see if the sandman comes back. I'm thinking of all of you this morning.

Greetings from Tampa

2009-11-09T19:57:00.002-05:00

Some time around Saturday November 1, my 93 year old grandmother took her final leave of this world. Sitting up in her favorite chair in front of the television, it appears that she simply nodded off watching her favorite show and that was the end...very peaceful, hands folded in her lap, an easy look about her face.

Thanks to everyone for your remembrances of Grandma. She was a nice, silly woman who loved all of us so well. Its quite a privilege to enjoy one's grandmother into their mid-40's and I know for certain she made my life a bit brighter in many ways.

Things are quieter now in Tampa that a number of family members who arrived for family time together have gone back to their homes. I'm looking forward to going home myself as soon as we have things a bit more organized and decluttered at Granmda's---she was nothing if not a packrat...in the most lovely of ways, of course.

So many photos, special letters, surprising finds. These have been lovely days of saying good-bye.

And did I mention the new tattoos, the evening at the hookah bar? Nice stuff, too!

....that was it

2009-10-31T23:22:00.010-04:00

Up until a week ago we thought that Things 1 and 2 were going to be playing evening soccer matches on Halloween---a truly vexing situation: should we buy costumes to be prepared for trick or treating only to have them go unused for the one evening they might be worthy of a fraction of their costs? If no, what to do then if the teams didn't advance in playoffs?

To my great surprise it wasn't much work to persuade the girls that a sensible plan would be to opt out of the costume-and-candy-parade in favor of a fun family evening: dinner out and a movie, allowing us to skip the ghouls and goblins in our neighborhood and spare the girls the torment of so many friends shrieking their sugary delight...

This is It
I've been conflicted about Michael Jackson for decades, really. On one hand, he was the very embodiment of pop culture to me: at six or seven, his was one of the first voices I ever heard on the radio... shortly thereafter my family moved to Spain; with no television to speak of, all American pop culture *was* music and in the early 70's, that was the Jackson 5 (to me). When we did return to the States (Land of the TV as we called it), the J5 were growing up and it wasn't much more than a year or two until MJ gave us "Off the Wall", music videos happened and the rest is history... that is the arc of my primary school years; Michael Jackson: ABC to Thriller.

I suppose it was happening all the while but it wasn't long after Thriller before the surgical sculpting of his physical image raised concerns, dubious marriages and parenting circumstances, allegations of pedophilia... I find those allegations hard to dismiss. They are consistent with everything we know of him: obsessed with the gifts of youth he was denied, fierce media and social pressures, the celebrated Peter Pan complex.

To be sure, I do believe that MJ's personal troubles, whatever they were, were created by the extreme pressures of his career and celebrity. It doesn't help that the world knew very little of him as a person or that the glimpses he did offer into his life ultimately appeared ever more damning. I suppose that I went to the movie hoping for one last indication of who Michael Jackson was.

What I found was a seriously exciting show. Huge productions, amazing choreography and staging; fantastic music, flawless integration of live stunts and filmed sequences. And, oh, the dancing---with MJ right up front: not only keeping up with kids half his age but throwing down signature moves effortlessly, leaving everyone in awe. I could easily watch the Billie Jean sequence ten times and not have enough.

In the end, though, there were too few genuinely organic moments for me. The moments of actually seeing the musicians just wouldn't have satisfied my expectations for a concert. So much flash, so little spontaneity... It left me wondering, again, what is the value of such a live show? The arenas are too big to feel anything other than a crowd ground swelling; the largest part of the audience would only see Michael on large screens---so why live?

What do fans expect? One more canned experience from a man so tragically damaged by the same media machine driving the performance? And why did HE do it? And did that effort contribute, physically or emotionally, to his death? I left reminded of my respect for him and having more sympathy than I've felt before but ultimately... its one more MJ experience that leaves me conflicted.

Flu

2009-10-25T21:55:00.010-04:00

Sooooo..... we're all sick. I'm about Day 6; Lindsay and Haley are at the beginning of their infections. I've heard a lot of buzz about H1N1, but truthfully, I'm such a skeptic about the reliability of reports from others so I really wasn't too excited--- of course, there have been some really severe cases, people have died; that has my attention.

Tonight Mr. Man went to the pharmacy to get some cold/flu remedies for the girls. When he came home he said that there were only *2* bottles of the stuff in the whole store! Of course he bought both of them... I still have some access to data sources that report generalized health indicators for our region: over-the-counter pharmaceutical sales, school absenteeism, emergency room visits by cause, etc. so I went to check things out.

HOLY SMOKES! Our emergency rooms are easily seeing 10 times more flu-like illnesses than at this time in the previous years---ten times! Not only that, when our flu season peaks, we rarely see it accounting for more than about 7% of all visits. People, there is a LOT of flu out there. What are you guys seeing where you are? Are all of your co-workers out sick? Of course, not all of these people presenting with flu-like illness actually have flu but this remains a very strong indicator that something enormously divergent from "normal" is happening...

Its a timely outbreak, I think. There's no reason people should die from flu; none at all. Keeping hydrated and prompt medical attention if breathing becomes difficult or if fever is excessive or prolonged --- those are the things that keep flu in check. I wish I knew more about the people who have died thus far in my state---I'll bet they were largely under/uninsured.

You guys keep your hands clean and avoid using other peoples' pens, keyboards, etc --- keep your clean hands to yourself! And if you CAN get the H1N1 vaccine, do it.

Crazy Love (Van Morrison, not Michael Buble)

2009-10-22T19:56:00.005-04:00

The only thing I can think of that would Michael Buble any more credible than he is in his particular niche would be for him to stop taking on Van Morrison tunes.

Buble's strengths are his amazing voice, his singing talent and his band with their amazing arrangements. The thing is, very few writers/arrangers/musicians are in the same league as Morrison. Ambition is a fine thing but performers don't distinguish themselves by delivering watered down, neutered versions of treasured tunes penned by a Master.

That's all.

Not much

2009-10-21T11:26:00.005-04:00

*Thanks to Jill who passed this along; originally from Gawker's ValleyWag .

Just a quick shout out to all you folks that are interested; This American Life's final installment on health care in the US ran at the beginning of this week. It is impressive to say the very very least. It has much food for thought, especially those who believe the free market plays out in health care and that this should be preserved. There were some shocking revelations to me...teaser: have you ever wondered about those disclaimer-like blurbs at the end of pharmaceutical commercials telling those having trouble paying for their meds to call a number for help? Check it out.

nb: unless you're subscribed to TAL's feed in a feed aggregator, the episodes are only free the week they are run---thereafter they charge about a buck per download.

Assistant Deputy Secretary of Education for Safe and Drug Free Schools: Mr. Kevin Jennings

2009-10-17T09:52:00.016-04:00

This week I heard from a favorite friend from high school, the one person I've pretty much talked to or written at least once or twice each each year since 1981. He had much to say and also asked whether the person torn limb from limb in a Dallas News column was the guy who made up 1/6 of our AP English class and other classes for our smarty-pants cohort. Yep; that's the guy: Kevin Jennings. I knew him well enough: he and I even spent the evening before our SATs chilling out together while everyone else studied (I'm sure), we made snide remarks about the literature we were asked to read and dissect. I think, in fact, Mr. Jennings is indirectly responsible for the introduction to my first "real" boyfriend... After much excitement back and forth about the recognition of our classmate's fine work in empowering gay students and beginning to make schools safer places for everyone, I took a moment to read the article Bill had found.

I don't live with my head in the ground, I know that Kevin has been a big gay target for the right media for weeks now. All kinds of things have been said about him; some may have a passing resemblance to the truth. For the most part, though, its so much more biased and deliberately misleading crap from the right, aimed at one thing: discrediting the decision making of the new President and his Administration. The only reason that position even exists is because so many people find it so easy to single out the gay guy: its a cheap shot. I don't think the conservatives are unique in having found their niches in the media and you know what kind of girl I am. I ask: seriously?---if you have to dig down to Deputy Assistant Secretary appointments, I'm a-thinkin' you ain't got anything very persuasive up your sleeve....

What frustrates me is that I find fewer and fewer sources of reliably bias-free, even slightly politically-neutral reporting. I'll offer my thoughts on some of the criticism's made about Deputy Assistant Secretary Jennings. I do not wish to perpetuate the claims made by that columnist so I'll summarize just enough to begin.

The columnist alleges that while serving as a teacher and sponsor of the school's Gay/Lesbian Student Association, a student confided in him the pertinent facts of a recent, and I would imagine troubling, experience which involved sexual activity with a previously unfamiliar person. The columnist reports that the advice offered by Mr. Jennings was that he should be sure to use a condom when he "should" have called the student's parents. The implication was clear: Mr. Jennings had been remiss in safeguarding that student's well-being.

I have serious reservations about the completeness of reporting on his counseling of that student...because as a public health kind of person I know that in the same position, my response would have definitely identified the need for a safe sex message as a primary problem. Equally, I would deliver a solid, perhaps stern, discussion about judgment and risk. The impact of unsafe sex in high risk groups (which is what brought the student to Jennings) is huge and sometimes fatal. But inasmuch as that student confided in Jennings in the context of Kevin's role validating and empowering gay sexuality---he'd have been acting counter to the goals for which he'd been made responsible, that very thing which encouraged the confidence from the student, had he gone to the parents. Indeed; I'm sure those goals were held not only by Jennings, but also the school in which he worked as the Association was permitted to operate and meet on campus.

What, then, do we have here? I'm sure Jennings *did* advise about the use of protection when engaging in sexual behaviors; he'd have been seriously remiss if not -- and would have been taken to task for the omission, I'm sure...by the very same people who criticize that advice now. So I think that part is probably true. Its more than likely that the account was not complete in a deliberate attempt to discredit Jennings and the Administration that appointed him.

In the end, I would be very unhappy were I persuaded that Kevin hadn't been cystal clear about the serious risks and lapses of judgment being demonstrated by that student but telling the parents? I would have a very hard time making that decision; I'd be very conflicted for sure. I don't have any reason to believe that Kevin isn't as concerned or as responsible as I know I try to be -- and I don't believe anyone who doesn't know him does, either. In the end, I don't think teachers typically call home when they become aware that students are sexually active or taking other risks ("Ms. Jones, I think your son might be running with scissors..."?). It may well be that there were other entities whose awareness might have been more appropriate in reducing the risks to which that student was exposed, but since we already have reason to believe we don't know the whole story, how could I possibly presume that such action was warranted and that it didn't occur? But this is exactly what the columnist wants all of us to conclude: they are saying Jennings' track record on "safe" schools is wanting and that some mid-level staffer overlooked something critical in the vetting process..."shame on YOU, Mr. President!". It is so clear that the attack isn't even directed at Jennings.

Its a sham. I believe none of it. Our time is wasted in these evaluations and arguments of what is true or not; our confidence evaporates. We become cynical and snarky and stop trying to understand those other people. Do we all need reminders of what happens when the citizenry believes that the media has been co-opted by the government or at least leveraged for a particular objective? Aren't we promised a free and government-independent media? Where on earth would I find that? Perhaps Jon Stewart or Ira Glass? They're the only people talking these days that are clear about where they're coming from...at least Stewart cops to being ridiculous and half-truthful. Glass is a great commentator but he doesn't really bring news. Jim Lehrer is good yet I don't know of anyone who is trusted by most of the nation...without this we are perpetually in the position of cobbling together what we think is most likely based on what we are told---and what we are not...and we shout across the divide.

That is: if we think about it for ourselves at all....

What really matters

2009-10-17T09:33:00.005-04:00

I see that Morehouse has taken up that all important burning issue of the day; they've implemented an "Appropriate Attire Policy" which bans the wearing of women's clothing: no cross-dressing for that respected all-male African-American institution...

I just wonder: why didn't they go ahead and say "all of you guys should dress like white prep school men"? Because that's pretty much what's left. I am generally of the opinion that standards of appropriate attire have long ago gone down the tubes but this policy is a doozy: no hats in buildings, no sunglasses in class and more...I'm thinking: they're saying no marijuana leaves on shirts or on chains, don't come in hungover, be respectable. Sounds like Texas A&M to me. Crazy. Really? Forgive me if I'm all "Kumbaya" but I always thought of college as a time and place where people are nearly obligated to explore the boundaries of their worlds....

They went further in explaining, "we have about five people living a gay lifestyle and that leads them to dress inappropriately.." Really? Wow. Here's the thing: at the all-women university I attended, girls dressed like boys allllllll the time and some of them were gay some weren't. I think that's fairly common..where? The entire western world?--it seems nearly universally OK for women to wear clothing similar to male attire. And I'd have never survived a single semester without at least a visor to beat back my bed head when I'd had to dash across the campus the moment I opened my eyes... Of course Morehouse is not likely to face irate students on that score. Being private gives that administration more leeway to stipulate what students wear...so why don't they just say its all khakis and golf shirts all the time? Get this: you can't walk barefoot on campus. I suppose that means not even on grassy knolls on pretty spring afternoons... I wonder if applies to the drunken girls removing their shoes to avoid making noise when they accompany their dates back to the dorms?

Finally, I don't even know what to say about "gay lifestyles leading those five gay men to dress inappropriately"...really? Gayness caused that?

Seems like someone doesn't have enough to do at Morehouse. I don't suppose they need any help over in the Theater department costuming Shakespeare In Love....

On Healthcare....

2009-10-12T18:57:00.004-04:00

This is a big week in the national health care reform debate. For all of our sakes I hope that our legislators will begin to turn this ship around---

I'd like to direct folks to this week's installment of This American Life which is the first of a two-part series on how health care works (or not) in the USA from the perspectives of insurance, patients and facilities. Those of us who have worked around health won't find anything new in that description but there were astonishing data on utilization, costs and economic measures. Its politically very neutral (and makes absolutely no mention of President Barak Obama's Nobel Peace Prize), no worries about your blood pressure while listening.

I've spent nearly twenty years now professionally observing and thinking about access to health care in one way or another. Over those years the role of private insurance has represented a good proportion of the debates. Today, listening to this podcast, I was struck by a thought: for all of us, health care, and its costs) is virtually indistinguishable from insurance (and its costs): if you don't have insurance, you don't really have any health care---

Consider:

1. current economic projections for *9 years* hence give the cost of healthcare INSURANCE at $38,000 per family of four per year...more than half the projected household income for that date. Half.

2. Fmr. President George W. Bush presided over the worst economic downturn of any 2-term president. When the proportion of economic change associated with health care costs are removed from the equation, however, his record rises to nearly the middle (at the lower end).

I'm saying only one thing: we have a huge and complex problem on our hands with respect to health care; every single stakeholder agrees that change MUST be made or the health care system *will* collapse---the costs are simply too high. The solution must consider access, utilization, standards of care, prescription costs and yes, insurance for every citizen. I am not saying a thing about the proposals on the table for consideration but failure to address the entirety of the health care delivery system will only prolong the problem. I hope we'll all give very serious consideration to the enormous scope of the problem and the values we hold as a nation. Let's walk the walk.

Thank you. We return you now to your regularly scheduled broadcast already in progress....

A very big sheewww...

2009-10-05T15:09:00.006-04:00

Don't want to be remiss: I had the best Friday night I've had in a long time this past week. Beginning with the cheery news in the morning that i do NOT have breast cancer, the day quickly escalated to dizzying heights of joy as Lyman found himself available for family antics earlier than anticipated.

Early dismissal from school allowed my beautiful daughters to join us for what I thought was an outstanding Thai lunch (love that green curry!) and then a completely unexpected hour or so of sound check. Doubly joyful as I didn't think the girls would be able to see him, let alone see the band play. Sound check is more fun than the shows (for me) these days given their informality and opportunities to interact with the boys in the band. The girls were amazed and you never have to ask me twice to spend more time listening to that bass player. Add in to the mix the umpteenth visit with the other guys (don't you think Steve needs to name that band?) and it made for a joyful afternoon of friendly chatter.

A dash back up county to drop off the girls and change clothes and I was off to meet gf Jill for the show---which was very much what I expected it to be: I saw little other than Lyman's charming visage; I loved hearing his little vocal part on ... another number that wasn't "Moonlight". I think we should all resolve here and now to persuade Lyman to incorporate his own vocals into his Steve-independent pursuits. In my opinion, he has a particularly compelling stage persona: I think he's a guy who always gets noticed whether he's playing, speaking or not; his eyes have that twinkle, his laugh is infectious and his smile is priceless. Add in his bass talents and his voice (I'm still trying to find the proper adjectives...) and I think as a leader, he has something that we're not seeing a lot of these days. Its a very unique combination. Lyman---I will manage you for not so much money. Come on!

Afterward, we got to be "those girls" who were waved backstage to the green room---and invited with the band to a champagne reception for the performers, shmoozing the Strathmore PAC's prominent donors. Off we were, then, to their hotel where we were something of a large natural force of laughter and scandalous chatter. Honestly, I have no idea when was the last time I passed a few hours so densely packed with laughs, chatter, and booze. Perhaps it was the last time I allowed Beth, Dave and Asia to be together in the presence of alcohol. Quite a show was that one as well.

So there we were far after last call and I was still feeling a little too wound up to know if I was safe to drive---I didn't drink that much but I've always been a cheap date. Thank goodness for my darling cousin who shared the cool quiet of his room for about an hour where I settled down and decided I was quite sober after my giddiness was removed from the whole situation.

What a great night. I wish I'd been less tired when I left, though. It might have occurred to me to remove from his doorway the large trashcan placed there by the other boys in an effort to literally trip up Lyman as he surely hurried down to the wickedly early lobby call.

thanks, Boy Wonder. Thinking of it still makes me smile.

Whoops! I Did it Again...

2009-09-24T17:45:00.002-04:00

After last November's presidential election I decided to hold my tongue on matters political because I was just simply worn down. I've enjoyed the respite and I'm not finished with it. But I made an "oops" (that's what first-graders are taught to say about errors of handwriting, manners, etc at our school). I posted this video on my Facebook page:

I just "shared" it off of Lyman's page because I thought while it was hilarious, it was also the most candid anyone has been about what *I* think (and most reasonable people agree...) is the root of the problem and what must be modified if we hope to make things better for people who need improved access to health care. IT WAS FUNNY. I posted it because it is funny. And because that actor who plays Don Draper is completely hot.

Oh, no. Oh, no, nonononononoono. Out come those "friends" from Facebook---you know, the ones you knew a little in high school and when their friend request popped up you thought, "what the hell; why not?". In general, I've been really happy with getting virtually reacquainted with these folks and all of them have gone on to have really nice lives, turned into real people and aren't much like the categories we all get squished into in high school. But I got pounced on. So badly, in fact, that I had to run to Lyman and scream "heeeeellllllpppp!". And he did (thank you soooooo much, Lyman!).

Anyoldhow, by way of this post I'm renewing my intention to be quiet about politics because I'm happier that way. And some people, no matter how nice and respectful you try to be, are always either insulted or insulting when those topics are opened up.

In what I hope was the final post of that thread I wrote that I thought people don't really talk to each other about their political ideas any more in the US, we just vent frustration by verbally assaulting each other with whatever tagline is attached to our position by the pundit du jour. I think this is a very bad thing. I think its a bad thing that I'm not talking about politics here, I think its a bad thing that people don't trust each other enough to say, "I'm not so sure I believe that"...that we choose instead to berate and and vilify those who have something else they'd like to offer for consideration. We don't advance our understanding by speaking only to those we know will agree. (although I did find it very enlightening to share some ideas with a grad school buddy who approaches the matter from a medical practice/quality of care perspective. And Lyman said a really really smart thing about the capitalization of medicine not benefitting the patient and therefore not truly fitting the consumer model. Excellent food for thought.)

Stuff

2009-09-23T17:19:00.003-04:00

Fits and starts, that's how my blogging goes these days. I don't know what that really means but I do know it means that I take long breaks, followed by hearty spurts of activity on wKHM. Love me, hate my blogging reliability; that's OK.

Music
The kind I make: I'm still pursuing competency with a guitar but I've discovered something that actually helps ease the frustration of a novice student---picking up my flute and making pleasant twitters without much effort. Learning guitar requires so much brain processing---what's that note, where are my fingers supposed to go, how come it hurts when I do that, adjust, test, adjust, adjust, shake out hand, does that sound right? as opposed to fluting where its kind of automatic...not much brain required when playing tunes long ago imprinted on the brain and formed in bursts of muscle movement.

And actually, that's a very happy finding for me because I put down my musical pursuits when I believed I had discovered that I had no natural aptitude, that I was really just a technician---not much of an ear, no real musical ideas of my own. I wish I hadn't allowed myself to believe that for so long because I have, indeed, decided otherwise. My ear is pretty good and after all these years, I have a pretty innate sense of how to produce pitches on the instrument without thinking of it much. Billy Joel said, "it always comes as a surprise when I feel my withered roots begin to grow" in an early song called Summer Highland Falls. That comes to mind a lot as I play these days.

Realizing that getting back in touch with my woodwind skills will help move my guitar learning forward more quickly, I allowed myself to replace the flute I have played forever---a gift from my paternal grandparents at a point when my playing would have been put on hiatus for a year were it not for their generosity. I'm passing that stalwart piece of aluminum and nickel plate to niece Kells as she is without easy access to pianos or other instruments in her current college digs. It feels great to fill the same void for her and I can't wait for the opportunity to play with her: we've never had two flutes between us previously so this may well be the beginning of a new kind of family fun.

Of music made by others, I'm very excited that this Friday brings a date to see The Melissa Walker Group featuring supreme bassist C. McBride (my man), next weekend is Steve Tyrell with a decent bass dude some of you guys might know--Lyman Medeiros, anybody? -- as well as an all around good-guy band; the following weekend we'll be back at The Kennedy Center to see Dave Holland with a quintet including Jason Moran and Eric Harland---heavenly stuff for me. Bass Heaven.

Books
I've begun reading what appears to be a fascinating non-fiction account of the dubious history of Imperial County, California. Not imaginatively titled, Imperial by William Vollman might well represent the work of a lifetime but is in fact only one of many very fine pieces of research and writing by Vollman--it garnered his second National Book Award (2005). I have to say that even though I'm fascinated by it, its a total bummer. It makes me want to disconnect myself from this modern lifestyle and move somewhere out West and take responsibility for production of my own food in a sustainable and well, non-Imperial, way. I've long been troubled by how much of our food supply relies on international trade agreements to say nothing of the horrors of our exploitation (and vilification) of migrant, undocumented and marginalized illegals. In this age of debate about illegal immigration and the particular environmental and political issues facing California, this is an intriguing read. And kids: its AMAZINGLY written. Riveting, actually. I'd encourage you to pick it up, but weighing in at 4.5 lbs, it might require the assistance of a friend---

She said it best...

2009-09-22T02:28:00.003-04:00

"All my life I've given my body everything it has wanted and now its turning on me!" -- Donna Medeiros

Grouse if I Want To

2009-09-07T03:07:00.004-04:00

So, I've been sick again; same old stuff: acute and overwhelming abdominal pain with no apparent cause. This latest bout struck about 24 hours after completing a harrowing 1-2 punch of endoscopy and colonoscopy thought prudent after the last bout. (n.b.: if anyone ever offers you a colonoscopy, run. I have no idea if the test is bad because I was unconscious but the "prep" is miserable).

So yeah, about 24 hours later, finally feeling better from the insults of the two previous days, I had this horrible onset of pain in the center of my upper abdomen---go figure. Right to the ER, we went because I could NOT deal. Of course everyone always wants to think horses not zebras so after they'd ruled out the possibility that something had gone terribly awry with my diagnostics the previous day, everyone was at a loss. Hospital admission.

I wasn't going to say anything about this episode or the current debate about healthcare reform in our nation. But the whole thing was too much demonstration of exactly what the problem is with the system and how badly we need a solution, any solution so long as its pointed in the right direction. We can all believe we'll have the opportunity to revisit the issue in Administrations to come ad nauseum.

First and foremost, if you are among those who don't believe change is needed; if you believe that the current way of practicing medicine and providing for the wellness of our citizens benefits any entity more than it does insurance companies or pharmaceutical companies, you are obviously high, insane or otherwise beyond cogent discussion. Just stop reading now. Absolutely no one makes money in medicine or health unless they are aligned with those two enterprises.

For now I'll focus on my most recent experience and how it plays out regarding physicicans and their patients in the current "system". For over 20 years now, physician payments for patient care in participating insurance plans have been capitated---that is, the doctor receives a flat fee for an office visit of a certain class: an initial complaint, a follow up, a physical...but just a handful of very broad categories of visits, regardless of what actually happens in the encounter. This is what keeps your physician moving at the speed of light and also what drives some recent Harvard findings that the average amount of time a physician allows a patient to describe their reason for presentation is 20 about seconds, sometimes as little as 3 seconds. Three seconds!

Capitation not only plays out in office settings; it also acts in institutions. In fact, physicians are paid such low rates for hospital visits that most will not see their patients in hospital unless the case is surgical and the doctor is a surgeon. This has given rise the new "specialty" of hospitalist: a physician who does nothing other than assume responsibility for patients upon admission, order their tests and drugs, directs consults. These hospitalists, no surprise, are more frequently likely to have successful careers when their clinical judgement and actions just happen to closely match the objectives and standards of the hospital they serve.

Imagine! Hard to believe, I know. Still--true. So Monday I had a look-see from mouth to the outside and there were a few minor findings, a few snips taken here and there for biopsies but the enterologist, the guy I had run to after my LAST 5-day hospitalization for abdominal pain says, "good news! Looks like there's no problem!". Huh. That wasn't how I was feeling, really. I was really feeling more like "WTF did you just say?" because you know, I've been sick like hell for almost a year now; I had surgery on Christmas and its quite likely my gallbladder was yanked out needlessly because no one is slowing down long enough to take a long, good look at a situation. (just as a side note: when the hospitalist called the enterologist who did my endo/colonoscopy he declined to come to the hospital or even speak directly to me. I'm supposed to follow up as scheduled. Nice.)

I was also feeling lost---what now? Sure, I'll have the follow up and maybe if I'm lucky, the lab studies will reveal something microscopic to account for all this: cancer, micro-ulcerative colitis; something---well, then I'd kinda' be the lucky girl wouldn't I? Because then the enterologist would know what to do. For now, assuming the follow up is also negative I don't have a single idea of what to do besides to wait for the next episode of my stomach turning to molten lead and hope the hospitalist I draw has some imagination and is a little bit of a cowboy.

For this round, the hospitalist didn't find anything remarkable when he repeated all of the same tests that my insurance company has paid for on six occasions this year so as soon as he felt my pain was under control and I was stable and I'd stayed the maximum number of days the hospital can bill for that particular diagnostic code---its out on the streets, baby. See ya next time?

Have any of you noticed that I haven't mentioned my own internist? Nope. That guy who has been my general physician for five years---hasn't once even poked his head in a room to give me a big thumbs up or mention it in a subsequent office visit. He's not going to manage this for me...its the hospital's problem---that's where I presented, they're the ones getting the bigger dollars---he'd only get follow up money. Its not worth it for him.

So all you guys sitting around mouthing off about how lucky we are to have such great healthcare in this country---why not try getting sick with something just a bit vague or mysterious. Let me know how that goes for you. Because you won't have a skilled, trained physician to lead you through the maze of specialists and their tests with "great" results. You'll be left to piece it together yourself. And our collective costs for care will continue to escalate because of misdirected efforts, redundant data collection...

But I'm home now. My abdomen only hurts a little and I've only been nauseous three or four times today. Haven't thrown up at all.

More later. But as a little teaser on my next commentary: please don't steal those pens from your doctors' offices with drug names on them. It only makes the drug companies hand out more and I'll bet you can guess how those costs are covered.... I try my best to avoid even using them in the doctors' offices. They love me!

Thirteen Years Ago

2009-08-31T09:23:00.003-04:00

me and Mr. Man said we did. And we have. And will. Its all been true. For better or for worse, in sickness and health, we've stood strong beside each other.

A small, secular ceremony at The Morrison-Clark Inn, the evening was beautiful in the terra cotta courtyard---a fantastic dinner, the most intimate of guests, Tuck and Patti playing softly some of the sweetest songs of love I've ever heard---plenty of wine and champagne.

I suppose we both look every bit of the thirteen years and three kids we've grown together since then but goodness knows---I think I might only love him more than I did then.

Lucky us.

Happy Birthday, baby

2009-08-07T08:39:00.002-04:00

Today my first daughter, prize that she is, turns 11. Years. Un.Be.Lievable. Its cliche,everyone says it, its the damn truth: it goes SO fast its mystifying.

Haley is every bit of what first daughters have been in our family for several generations now: studious, responsible, bossy, book wormish and pure delight to be with one-on-one and sometimes in small groups. She's getting to that "oh-Mom-likes-this-therefore-it-sucks" stage which is not so charming. It doesn't change much for her so she might as well adjust her attitude. She's a great kid. But where did my beautiful baby go?

501

2009-08-04T14:38:00.008-04:00

Kittens, you didn't tell me! My last post was number 500; I should have made more hoopla or at least not allow it to languish. Go me!

I haven't posted....got nothing to say. I do think that mid-June hospitalization upset the apple cart a good bit. I suppose by now I'm well enough that I don't need to be in the hospital but not so well that the doctors' brows don't furrow and all. I have some of the usual GI exams scheduled for later this month---on my anniversary as a matter of fact--I mean: why not? Christmas and New Year's in hospital, birthday barely home and quite ill after hospitalization. See what I mean?

I've had a good bit of fun in my craft room and some of you have seen the products; I sure wish I knew what the recipients thought of them (eh-hem). I've tons more sewing to do but I buggered up a part on my sewing machine whilst tenderly ministering to its maintenance needs...so I'm kind of just waiting. These are on the to-do list:

The apron is too fantastic to not do. The messenger bag was OH SO CUTE in a Mod-Retro fabric when Anna fell in love with the demo at the quilting store. She's elected to carry this in lieu of a backpack. Check her out, all individual...

Of course there's the knitting and I've been a little all over the place with it:

The Sonnet sweater (Knitty) done up in Colinette Jitterbug, marble colorway. My very favorite sock yarn of all time. Its going to take a lot but, hey; I really like it. Making some minor mods: extending the width of the box-stitch panels, slimming the neck opening thus creating more shoulder coverage...I was seeing a lot of droopy looking sweaters out there. Ugh. Otherwise, a totally easy knit.

This is the "Wavy Orange Scarf" pattern published and given away for free in The Knitting Daily earlier this week---how cute? Must knit, right? Super simple, too. The only pain is that its knit lengthwise and there are 216 stitches of bulky weight Rowan Colourworks on those needles. Its almost finished. Next up for the needles? You'll love this:

Allegedly, this "Swiss Cheese" scarf is so easy that some knitters go mad with boredom before its completed. I have stolen this photo of it from a Raveler called FreestyleFibre and I hope soon she will grant her permission, otherwise I might have to take it down. It is simply the best photograph of the scarf I've seen (and baby, I've been looking!). I'm going to work it up in a fine merino wool, in a colorway not too different from this one (maybe that's why I like this photo?)

I also have on the needles a pair of socks for Tracy---the first is about half finished. Its the RSC piece for summer---Rogue Roses...I think you'll find it around here somewhere...

I had more to say but this is already too long. Besides, I only blog for comments. The floor is yours....

Hey, hey---what do you say?

2009-06-24T16:45:00.007-04:00

Its me! I'm back! Free!

After my ebullient last post on the great soccer cookout, I fell ill and boys and girls: it was a baaad thing. One trip to the ER, kinda blown off as having that "stomach bug that's really awful right now", returned home only to call an ambulance in the wee hours of the morning to get me directly into the attention of a doctor because I.was.dying. Gastro symptoms, high and low, horrific abdominal pain. Throwing up every contrast drink for imaging studies...bad stuff.

Finally got a CT scan that revealed, guess what? Lots of fluid in my pelvic cavity (not supposed to be there), cysts on ovaries and a small bowel obstruction (an obstruction in the small intestine, that would be, not a teeny obstruction in any ol' part of the bowel). Guess who was looking a wee bit sheepish? I dunno....might that be the gastroenterologist who admitted me on Christmas Eve and blew off my post-op complaints that eventually had me back in the hospital with a finding of ulcers?...I'm thinking that even though this guy is really cute and funny, he's not going to be my gastroenterologist anymore. After several days in the hospital, stomach pumping, rehydration, all that, I feel well enough to be home. But I've got to find a gastro specialist to help me connect the dots of all these events...I know they've got to be connected. Nobody has this kind of luck. Thanks to everyone who got the 411 before now and wished me well; sorry to you guys that I haven't kept properly informed. I suck. Sorry 'bout that.

Fun Stuff
I had my birthday. That could have been fun. Mostly wasn't but its OK. At least I was home. My Mom forgot my birthday; that's always a bad thing. It happened on my 21st bday, too. But it could be worse: I know lots of people whose Mommies can't wish them a happy birthday ever again so I'll not whine.

Rob very gallantly allowed me to manipulate our cell phone plan so that I "qualified" for the nice pricing on the iPhone 3 GS and, ya know, order it for myself for my bday. Good news, though: I sold my 3G on eBay for less than we paid for the new one. One day soon I'll schedule the spa day that he purchased for me; anyone wanna come with me?

Music
Well, I always buy myself lots of music right around my birthday. Check the sidebar for this year's indulgences. Its heavy on the roots Rock but I did pick up the Christian McBride disc that Lyman pointed out. Its hot.

I love jazz, I totally do. But you know, the first music I remember hearing as a kid was the rough and ready rock and R&B of the late 60's and 70's: Credence Clearwater Revival, Santana, The Doors, Steve Miller Band, Earth, Wind and Fire, Tower of Power, The Spinners and Chi-Lites. There's a big difference in how I listen to jazz compared to these others---I pay a lot more attention; its a more active thing. So I can't deny any longer that I'm really just a rock and roll girl when I'm most at ease. I'll never like anything more than I like great guitars, smart lyrics about love, longing and loss, solid vocals. I think this year's birthday choices make that pretty clear: give me the roots rock with a nice side helping of all the forms from which it emerges.

Kids
My kids are so cute. I'm glad they're out of school to be with me. We've taken up sewing lessons again and guitar will begin soon. I also bought three or four books of "fun" writing exercises that I thought we could all do together for pleasure and keep our little brains working a tiny bit, too.

Report cards came today: Haley is a super-duper show off: Straight A's, accelerated caseload and all. Perfect "learning skills" scores, too. She appears destined to join the long line of smarty-pants oldest daughters we encounter so often in this family. Anna has really had a great year, too and her final report card shows it: reading way above the curve for the accelerated grade level, fantastic math, science, etc. I don't think being a student comes as naturally to her as it does Haley but she seems to have hit her stride and I can tell she's enjoying that. Kinder don't get grades but I can tell that Lindsay has learned very much this year and she's more than ready for first grade. What's more, its so obvious that she enjoys applying what she learns about reading and writing to what's happening around her in the world. I love that. Sometimes at night when she's in bed, I hear her counting to herself; practicing. How cute is that?

Crafting

I have a few secret projects that are very exciting. Its very hard to not tell you about those. But there are a few things to be shared. First, every little girl's dream: a twirly skirt...

And these are some of the fabric choices I'm contemplating:

I think given the right contrasting fabrics, these could be some kickin' twirly skirts! And, perhaps my favorite project in the hopper for its sheer cleverness: a cute little dress made from a discarded button front shirt:

I found these in a collection of tutorials put together by the fine users at Sew, Mama, Sew---a truly inspiring place to point and click...

Lucky Me

2009-06-14T20:50:00.002-04:00

Today made up for the horror of the preceding two or three days; today was our "end of season" party for the soccer team except that it marks a breaking apart of the team as several players take new directions and the Coach follows his daughter on her new path. But it was a beautiful day in a beautiful park with great food, great kids having fun, great people to hang out with...our soccer days are always so busy, these parties are often the only time we may all hang out for more than a minute or two without other distractions. Lovely, suburban bliss. The American dream come true...rare opportunities to tell people the important roles they've played in our lives without being awkward.

Now I have a quiet-ish house, soft new jammies and quiet. And stillness. Until tomorrow when we all get to sit uncomfortably for a couple of hours at Haley's "Fifth Grade Promotion" ceremony. And then my friends, just a few short hours until its officially summer vacation; can't wait.

Appley Goodness
Well, last week I was giddy with excitement for the announcements of the Apple WWDC 2009; indeed good things are a-comin' our way. June 17, Wednesday I think, brings us iPhone 3.0 firmware with loads of long anticipated features, many of which were on my wish list. And although the storage is still coming in shy of my ideal at a mere 32 gB, the new iPhone model brings a host of hardware improvements too compelling to pass by. So as fate would have it, when the new devices hit the shelves on Friday the 19th, yes the day before my birthday (make a note!), I should have my own personal unit delivered to my doorstep. Thank you Steve Jobs, thank you dearest husband.

Sigh. Contentment.

Dreams of the Gadget Girl

2009-06-07T14:41:00.003-04:00

Dear Mr. Apple:

I know you've been very busy as you and your elves prepare for your big day tomorrow, the kickoff of your World Wide Developers' Conference, 2009. I know, too, that you've been keeping a list of all the good little boys and girls and the desires of their hearts. I hope that my sister has improved her behavior enough to finally land on the good list; its always so awkward when her husband and son find their stockings stuffed with cool new toys and she's left with nothing but iPod knock offs and crappy earphones. I know she's been trying hard. It doesn't come very easily for her.

Even though I always try my best to be a good gadget girl, I know that there's always a possibility that I might not end up on the good girls list or that I might not receive my list of techie development from the sunny silicon valley. I surely don't take this for granted. But just in case I am in line for the deluxe package of new releases from Steve Jobs and your Apple boys, I've been thinking just a little bit about what would make me squeal with delight tomorrow monrning. I've come up with this:

1. I know, I know, I know this is asking for too much but ask I shall just in case... I really want an iPhone with enough memory for my complete digital music collection. Please--120 gB would be SWEET. Or not even sell them loaded with so much space; make a clever marketing decision and keep prices lower by simply allowing users to slam in our own mini-SD cards. Seriously---this is a very dear dream of mine. Such an iPhone would allow me to leave home without ever thinking I might need the heavy duty 'pod. Not that I'd need fewer pod like devices; oh no. Perish the thought.
2. On the iPhone firmware tip, I've been told that we're all going to see landscape keyboards for SMS and email application. I hope so!!!
3. Flash! I really need Flash for my web browsing. Let it be!
4. Oh, just the thought of stereo bluetooth makes my heart go pitty-pat. It would be so excellent to just jump in my car and have the iPod app connect to my stereo for tunage just as seamlessly as the phone does already... let's not even mention how cool it would be to not futz with headphone wires...
5. Apps running in the background? I know you've just been keeping this one up your sleeve for an easy delivery---Apple is the master of multi-tasking. Rascals.
6. I hear you're going to show us all a new iPhone device---i can't even imagine what there could be to offer except perhaps the storage expansion I've already wished for. But I have to tell you...nearly anything you could think of and produce I'd *totally* have to buy within the first quarter. Because that's the kind of gadget girl I am...

I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I know its going to be a long wait for things to get rolling with your 9AM PST start time, me here on the east coast. But I've blocked out three hours to immerse myself in online coverage...I hope you'll find I've been a good girl and that my requests are perfectly reasonable! My husband asked me if I had already selected my pocket protector for tomorrow. Silly boy---I never use anything but electronic input devices...no pens in my pockets. Shaaa...

The end of an era?

2009-06-07T13:46:00.002-04:00

So today dawned with the promise of a suburban Sunday spent at the soccerplex watching our Maniacs play their last game of the season, perhaps their last match as a team, after having narrowly lost the championship (again) yesterday. Most of the parents are decidedly saddened to find ourselves in this situation where it appears extremely likely that not only is our coach of 5 years (10 seasons!) leaving to find a situation more suitable for his own daughter's needs but that many of the girls have come to a point of skills development where they are looking for rather less or more competition... today was the day we all knew very well would be the last game for "us". Sad, sad, sad.

Beautiful morning, a nasty opponent to take on ... the opposing coach having allegedly advised his players to kick our star player at every opportunity, the whole thing escalating to the attention of the league leadership. I was so happy that our girls displayed the most amazing sportsmanship you might imagine, took the nasty girls out 5- 0 AND Haley scored her first ever goal outside of practice. Big day for us.

With about five minute of playtime left I was standing with the coach as we both winced over a cluster of cleats trying to claim the ball, each of us cheering on both Haley and the other Maniac in the scrum. Coach said to me, "I have very few unanswered prayers in my life but there is ONE that kind of needs some quick action if it is ever to be granted..." and in about 30 seconds, Haley recovered the ball and scored the goal. Some times you get lucky in life; finding this Coach was a coup. I couldn't be happier for the important things he's taught our girls through the game of soccer. He told the girls today, "this team, all of us, we show what kind of sportsmen and athletes we are by what we do on the soccer field. When other people begin talking about what their team does well, to talk about what they think of us, remember that nothing matters besides what happens on the field during game time. And there's nothing else to be said that matters a single bit."

It seems kind of sentimental for me to be so struck by this obvious statement but really, what I've seen from some of the parents and coaches of other teams runs quite contrary to this simple thought. I think youth athletics (under 10 years of age, for instance) should be primarily about the principles teamwork and sportsmanship and the game, secondarily about skills development and competition.

So today marks the end of a happy, privileged era in our kids' sports lives. I hope we'll continue to be so fortunate in finding new teams and leadership for our kids.

New Music Heaven...the women in Poughkeepsie..?

2009-06-04T14:35:00.002-04:00

Elvis Costello is touring supporting his brand spankin' new cd "Secrets, Profane and Sugarcane" which is billed as his reworking of bluegrass roots, a collaboration with T-Bone Burnett...sounds mostly like some straight up swamp stompin' to me. I've fallen completely in love with this zydeco-tinged shuffle called Sulfur to Sugarcane:

and yeah, that's Roseanne Cash, Kris Kristofferson and Norah Jones sitting with him in the shadows; this performance was handed in on his Spectacle series. Elvis is who he is and you either love it or you don't; I do. I wish I were in college right now if for no other reason than this is one hell of a rowdy party lyric and I really don't have an excuse to for singing this at the top of my lungs anymore, solo cup full of beer:

It's not very far from sulfur to sugar cane
Everywhere I travel pretty girls call my name
I give them a squeeze and they shoot me a wink
I buy their hard-headed husbands a long cool drink
You better come up smelling sweet 'cos you're a long time stinking
It's a little too late to complain
It's not very far from sulfur to sugar cane

Now if you catch my eye and it seems to run down your leg
It's like striking a match pretty hard upon a powder keg
They tell you from the borders to the waters of the gulf
If you take all the sugar you will end up in the sulfur
And you're burning
Hello baby I'm pleased to meet ya
I wouldn't do you wrong, honey
I wouldn't cheat ya, honey
When can I see you again?
Wrap you up in cellophane
It's not very far from sulfur to sugar cane
It's not very far from sulfur to sugar cane

Then your eyes fill up with brine
When you're drowning in wine
It's like the last days of Rome
With the despots and divine
And there's no place like home for a little doll from China
It's a little too late to complain
It's not very far from sulfur to sugar cane

You can go west to Texas
Go east to Mississippi
You can run out of money
You can run out of pity
Throw open your purse until you're crying for mercy
Go to Alabama
Escape Louisiana
I'm digging like a miner North and South Carolina
And then if you continue you will end up in Virginia
...and so on

Rob and I will be catching the show next Thursday. Can't wait.

Lolly Lolly Lolly

2009-05-27T21:43:00.002-04:00

Today is Lindsay's sixth birthday. I don't know what I ever did to her to deserve this growing up kick she's on.

Cupcakes in the classroom, dinner menu of her choice (pizza, of course), balloons and gifts. Note one pearl pink Nintendo DS. Things 1 and 2 were NOT happy as they have been pursuing their own DS's by working toward certain achievements...which have yet to be realized... to see baby sister with the coveted object...it was a good Mommy/little sister moment. As a third child, I can say with a great deal of certainty that the little sister is RARELY on the leading edge of coveted playthings. Go, Lindsay; go, Lindsay...

Happy birthday, Lolly. Don't grow up so fast.

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T00:33:00.002-04:00

Here's to the world's best cousins, Donna and Carol, who are not only more fun than a sackful of puppies but are loyal, thoughtful, vigilant keepers of the family flame. Thank you girls for remembering our dear departed ones for those of us far away. And feeding the ducks.

Summer kickoff
Around here, we acknowledge the beginning of summer with our neighbors. Each of us presiding over our grills facing each other over the fence, we trade shakers full of cocktails, jazz cd's and whatever's on the grill. Kids playing together, dogs keeping everyone in line. What's not to love in this suburban life?

Here's hoping you're enjoying a beautiful, happy weekend!

Red in the Face

2009-05-16T13:01:00.002-04:00

Things Two and Three have felt left behind a good bit this week as Thing One and her peers launch a great many "fifth-grade promotion" activities: special photos, class shirts, day at the County Fair and a field trip to Philadelphia. I could see my younger ones struggling to manage their envy and disappointment.

I chose to have a special day with them on Friday. Keeping them out of school for the day, we began with a trip to the nail salon for manicure/pedicures. I have never bumped into so many neighbors in one place in my life: the president of our PTA, Anna's classroom parent and three other neighbors. Nervous laughter and red face, that was me. We went out to lunch and to Michael's to pick materials for afternoon crafting...except we all fell asleep instead. Lovely day.

Rosacea
well, my face really HAS been red lately. Rosacea SUCKS. In the sunlight, in the heat, drinking coffee or alcohol...wow; its been awful. Like, embarrassing. This is kinda new for me, I was the kid who survived adolescence with less than a handful of unsightly blemishes. I'm going to see a dermatologist (again) in a few weeks but based on what I already know and what I've gathered on the web, this is what I'm supposed to do to minimize the appearance of redness:

1. Wash face with hands and lukewarm water using whatever cleanser works for you; I use Aveda's All-Sensitive.
2. BLOT dry, do not rub, gently. Allow skin to dry completely for five minutes before step 3.
3. Apply topical ointment (Metrogel). Allow to dry thoroughly...at least 5 minutes.
4. Moisturize with appropriate moisturizer for sensitive skin, including sunscreen of SPF 15 or more.
5. Redness can be counter-balanced by using green tinted foundation primers, like Smashbox's Photo Finish Color Correcting products. Of course your face will have to be thoroughly dry before and after application...
6. And if you're going to put a green-tinted primer on your face, you definitely have to apply at least a powdered foundation.

I'm thinking this is about a minimum 20 minutes and 5 products to get to "natural" skin. Jeez Louise! Let's not even think about cost...none of this stuff is cheap. There MUST be a better way to manage this.

But since I've gone on and on about my face, I should probably follow up on a previous makeup report: L'Oreal Extend Lash Mascara. Its good stuff. It definitely plumps up and lengthens lashes by creating those tube-things that are actually kind of weird. It doesn't smudge even if you forget to wash off before bedtime...nice bonus---good lashes tomorrow without application. I don't particularly like that it requires application of two solutions and it can be kinda tough to remove them completely. Sometimes I find those little tubies hanging out in my sink or on my cloth afterward...it kinda weirds me out. But not enough to give up on it. I tried an alternate product, Too Faced's Lash Injection that is reported to build extension tubes with just one solution. Its not as good as the L'Oreal product although it is easier to remove...it does smudge, though. I think the L'Oreal product is the better of the two, especially as this is the time of the year when my family practically lives in the swimming pool.

I thought you'd want to know.

What the kids say....

2009-05-13T18:53:00.002-04:00

Lolly: when are we going?
Me: when Anna's finished sorting her laundry.
Lolly: BUT THAT'S GOING TO TAKE SO LONG!
Me: Well, it will take less time if you offer to help her.
Lolly, heading toward the computer: Hmmm. I don't get that.

What I'm not liking...

2009-05-11T21:26:00.003-04:00

Here's a list of things I'm not digging currently:

1. I can't wish my sister a happy birthday.
2. I can't talk to my Mom because she's off in Europe and won't touch a computer
3. My UnDead sister is hiking with 11 year olds in Menocino...no communication for a week.
4. My Geminiece is in Spain and while we can instant message, etc, its not the same
5. Kells is a great communicator and chatter but very soon she's off to China and...largely out of touch.
6. I'm completely up to date on all episodes of In Treatment and have to wait for more just like everyone else.

WHY IS EVERYONE MISSING IN ACTION?

Because I'm supposed to be all grown up and count my blessings, here's a list of what I AM currently digging:
1. My husband and kids, most of all when they're asleep.
2. Playing around with some ideas for a quilting project...its a bit intimidating, actually.
3. I'm working on the second sock of some cutie anklets. Picture. Look.
4. Gary Louris, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Bare Naked Ladies and the North Mississippi All-Stars.
5. My Lillies-of-the-Valley are in glorious bloom. I'm really psyched about that. You know what this means? It means I'm old. Sh*t, now I'll have to move this to the "not digging it" list....

Piss

2009-05-07T23:02:00.003-04:00

Don't you just hate it when...

despite all possible caution and care to be kind, selfless and honorable in a difficult situation you find yourself being accused of precisely the opposite? When presentation of your only evidence to the contrary would make you unkind, selfish and rotten?

I do.

Happy Birthday, Lyman!

2009-05-05T14:16:00.003-04:00

Glad tidings of the day, dude. I guess we really do have to begin regarding you as a credible adult now, don't we? Happy, happy!

Its also Cinco de Mayo which calls this to mind:

I love me some Pee-wee Herman regardless of Paul Ruben's questionable judgement. My favorite exchange:

Badass Biker: Didn't anyone tell you that this is the private club of the Satan's Helpers?
Pee-wee: Nobody hipped me to that, dude. My mistake...excuse me...excuse me....

Uncertainty...

2009-05-04T10:03:00.002-04:00

Not to go on and on or anything but its my blog anyway...

I might have mentioned somewhere or other that I am blown away by an HBO weekly drama called InTreatment . I'm not kidding; its the sh*t. If you're at all interested in the human condition, I don't know where else you might find such fertile ground for observation and rumination. The writing is brilliant and the acting is for the most part superb. I think that it is to the individual what The Wire is/was (*sniffle*) to American inner cities. Did I mention that its freaking brilliant and absolutely riveting?

So anyway, uncertainty. My obsessive contemplation these days is largely regarding the tolerance (or not) of uncertainty in determining who we are individually and collectively. As I was watching....um, one (?) episode of InTreatment this weekend Paul, the therapist and central figure (conflicted Everyman; my fave) is in session with a very troubled married couple. There is huge power/accomplishment differential between them with the wife being extremely well educated and successful in her career, enjoying that. Husband is a singer songwriter with little or no success; he's an artist in his heart and he likely works as a skilled laborer. They have one child. Husband wants a second and Wife has led him to believe, through five years of fertility treatment, that she does as well. Except she doesn't. She wants to grind out her career and push it as far as she can; she's loving it and its working well for her. She eventually miscarries a successful conception but is accused of terminating willfully.

This crisis of conflict, of dishonesty, anger and disappointment is negotiated (?) between them with (almost) more disdain than I can bear to watch. Husband in one moment blurts out a remark about "it all" being hers...their whole life: her salary, their money; her uterus, their family; the end of her pregnancy, their loss.

In this one moment the writer crystallizes my contemplations so well it took my breath away: Husband is struggling with the uncertainty of his wife's integrity, of her promises in marriage, of her love and their life together. He feels he has nothing but his life with Wife and it appears to be at risk. And how they face that uncertainty, the damage they inflict as they go or the faith they build....will make all the difference.

Its not TV. Its HBO.

In Other News...
Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. Yes, Swine Flu is still here. The most meaningful commentary I can muster just now is from a friend of a friend: "Swine flu: its the other white plague..." (J, please thank your friend).

Soccer
Things 1 and 2 are settling into the Spring season with their team; no big roster changes this year except at the near-top: That man I live with was invited to join the coaching team and woosh---there he goes. Its mostly a bit more sophisticated than herding kittens but some days, girls just wanna have fun and they all know each other SO well by now; its like a tea party with cleats and shin guards... The team is kicking butt in a big way and it looks like "the coaches" and families are preparing to make the leap from our recreational league to the more competitive "Classic" league with requirements for skills and performance of teams and individual players. Its more comitment for the kids and the parents and I'm not entirely sure how it will work for us but I'm willing to give it a shot.

As recognition for some achievement the team was invited to escort players onto the field in last night's Washington Freedom vs St. Louis Athletica match and to have some face/camera time with Mia Hamm who was being honored. What an exciting match---the Freedom totally outplayed St. Louis the whole game but the score not in their favor: 1-3 at about 70 minutes. Two amazing goals in a few minutes later the game ended in a tie but the crowd, drowned and cold as we were from sitting in the rain, left very very happy. Team Captain Abby Wambach is a fierce bruiser of a forward (can you say "intimidating"?!) and Sonia Bompaster is so consistently excellent it would be tough to NOT enjoy the evening.

Headaches
Not to tempt fate or anything, but I've had more than a one week stretch with a new preventive med and no headaches that I couldn't treat and get on with life---in the face of some well established triggers: dramatic atmospheric pressure changes, storms. I'm happy. Almost willing to believe that I'm something other than just lucky...perhaps on the right track?

News worth reading...

2009-05-03T11:33:00.002-04:00

Finally, in today's NY Times Sunday Opinion, Nicholas D. Kristof offers a responsible, clear and meaningful assessment of the current situation with Swine Flu.

He reminds us that the critical value of public health is its focus on the well-being of communities of people, not individuals, in so much as you will never have healthy individuals in unhealthy communities. Read, kittens, read... please let us not miss the forest for the trees.

The Crux of it...all?

2009-05-02T13:30:00.002-04:00

My husband and I are both, in our heart of hearts, disease control folks. We delight in the nuance of disease and especially, especially utilizing all of the information and data we can synthesize and bringing it to bear on policy making. A trusted epidemiologist advising a public policy entity can have tremendous impact on an emerging health event.

Quite naturally, we've been totally scrutinizing the various public responses to occurrence of Swine Flu. I've gone on enough about how I see things; what is intriguing me today is the differences my husband and I have noted in our reaction to control measures. It comes down to a single factor: how do we handle uncertainty? This seems to me to be a very important measure of a person, of an organization and of communities.

There was a time when I would not support decision making that I couldn't provide solid scientific data for: zero tolerance for uncertainty. Indeed, many scientists think this way and are fortunate enough to work in situations where they need never accommodate or consider the possibility, impact or scale of uncertainty in their findings. I suppose that our society's reliance upon, and demand for, scientific precision in policy making is a natural consequence of the evolution of our world: from industrial to technological.

I find this reluctance to allow for tolerance of uncertainty acting out in every segment surrounding this Swine Flu issue. The public will not accept that the most vigilant, concerned and qualified scientist can not say with absolute certainty that most of us are at about 0 risk of becoming ill and certainly not of substantial morbidity. Public policy officials are extremely reluctant to appear uncertain and they will largely choose to adopt a position of certainty that acts in the best interest of their electorate. And of course, media pundits would not BE media pundits if they weren't certain.

I think in very, very many ways our world would be a more reasonable place if we as individuals, organizations and communities learned to manage uncertainty with more grace and restraint. Some quick reflection suggests to me that abhorrence of uncertainty explains a LOT of policy making in certain sectors and a couple of specific political parties.

What do you think of uncertainty and how it influences both organizational and personal behavior? I think there must be some very interesting stories to be told in answering that question

Silent No More

2009-05-01T20:47:00.002-04:00

Has the world gone crazy? Is Swine Flu the pandemic we've all been anticipating, dreading and shoring our defenses against? Have public officials far and wide lost their collective marbles, closing schools and making off the cuff remarks about keeping out of crowded, confined spaces? What DO we know? Perhaps more importantly, what do we NOT know?

I ain't nobody and we all know that. I'm just a girl with a long history of collecting information to explain and predict disease occurrence in populations. I have no public health authority but I do have what I've always had: a strong ability to seperate facts from conjecture, a bias toward science tempered with a respect for the responsibilities of the elected public officials who are responsible for the security of their communities.

This has been a ridiculous week in the media. In my estimation, its also been a bit ridiculous in public health circles but I understand the differing motivations operating there and I can live with it. I've heard "medical authorities", "licensed physicians" say that this epidemic of flu is nothing more than typical seasonal flu. Not true---its a novel human pathogen having "jumped" from piggies to their very intimate human friends. It is also occurring in mid- to late-Spring which is explicitly atypical in this hemisphere and may in fact be the most important feature to focus on in controlling the outbreak. Finally, WHO has escalated its pandemic potential by asserting that the virus can be transmitted from person to person. These are things we know.

I don't think there has been enough time for science to answer some critical questions:
1. What precisely is the severity of illness---what, exactly, is the Case-Fatality Ratio? Does the severity of illness and of outcome vary between persons who have been infected from sick piggies and those who have contracted the illness from another human...etc through each generation of disease transmission.
2. Has WHO's assertion of person to person transmission been made persuasively or have they been pushed to escalate because of circumstances and a lack of science rather than having conclusive evidence?

Just a few years ago we found ourselves handed the challenge of avian influenza. Our public health resources were mobilized and readied for action should cases emerge in this hemisphere...the epidemic cycle ramping up on the other side of the world gave us the benefit of much learning time. We knew with reasonable certainty there was no person to person transmission going on which is to be greatly hoped for in this instance. We knew that infected individuals had very specific travel histories and very specific contacts. That virus also had a very high fatality ratio. In terms of pandemic potential, it was of moderate concern: it represented an entirely new human pathogen meaning that our immune systems (and vaccines) would be quite ineffectual. The very interesting characteristic of the 1918 pandemic which is always referred to is its mechanism of death: the findings in all available samples indicate that the persons most likely to suffer most were those people with the most aggressive (healthy) immune response---this is very much what we must be wary of with all novel pathogens: that it will decimate the young and healthy; inverting classical mortality curves. This has not been seen, neither with H5N1 several years ago or with the currently circulating strain.

If I were asked to advise my Health Officer as I have often been called upon to do I would tell her:

1. The epicenter of the outbreak is very well defined outside of our jurisdiction. Officials there have made all the appropriate control measures and are working with vigilance and exceptionally qualified scientists and health officials of all kinds.
2. The surveillance potential for illnesses coming into our jurisdiction is high: flu cases in non-flu season will be easily recognized and should be singled out for greater clinical and epidemiologic study. We have the resources for these operations prepared and in place.
3. The risk of sporadic cases turning up here is close to nil but in fact, its not nil: we've several cases that appear related on our plates.
4. Public concern is high. Partly becuase we've asked the public to be very concerned about the potential for an influenza emergency and this is a very important objective to be maintained.
5. In my fairly well qualified opinion, this is not the flu outbreak that we've been fearing.
6. Public health officials and elected officials must balance the fear of the public against the need for continuity of operations. Some action is, in fact, required. I think that response would vary depending upon proximity to the epicenter, travel patterns of residents, etc.

For my friends and family, I will be watchful and perhaps a teeny bit more cautious about sniffles accompanied by fever. I will hope we all practice appropriate cough/sneeze containment. And for the time being, I'm thinking I'll avoid any non-professional travel to Mexico City. I shall continue to refrain from kissing pigs and/or chickens.

On my footsies...

2009-04-30T14:38:00.004-04:00

I've been knitting lots of socks. And I shall be so immodest to suggest to you that they are the most awesome socks I've ever knit. Let me warm you up with the January offering from the Rockin' Sock Club, My Blue Heaven yarn colorway and Queen of Beads pattern by Sivia Harding. Freaking gorgeous; the depth of color in this blue/purple study is really awesome:

This was hugely exciting for me because I was pretty "meh..." about the club last year: first several selections blew (IMO) but finished strong with very very lovely fall and winter selections. And then, dear readers, came the March package. Oh oh my. Colorway is called Gertrude Skein, the most outrageous blend of rose hues---some bright, some not. All together just amazing to look at. And then the pattern: Rogue Roses by the Yarn Harlot herself, Stephanie McPhee. This pattern is faaaaaabulous. These are definitely, without a doubt the very best looking socks I've ever knit. Check these:

From the picot cuff to the wandering roses and lace border running all the way to the toe, these socks have really captured my heart. My picture kind of sucks so let me tell you, the design is vines and rosebuds...so pretty. I even ordered an extra skein so I can knit a pair for one of my sisters.

Lots of Nothing

2009-04-13T20:51:00.005-04:00

So not much going on, not much to post... Spring Break has just ended, my Mom visited, Easter was fun... we drove around downtown a wee bit with Mom looking at the Cherry Blossoms (it was a drizzly ugly day); if you've never been to DC while the cherries are in bloom you should try to do so...they are simply breathtaking: so lovely, thousands of them adorning not only the tidal basin and the monuments but all over this region. Heaven. I'm sure there are Cherry Blossom trees in heaven. And Lilies of the Valley. Also puppies and little kids who never pout or whine.

I have been busily sewing: twenty skirts and "corsets" for the villagers in our Elementary School's production of Beauty and the Beast...I've been wondering what I shall sew when that's all finished because I've had lots of fun with it. I made a cute handbag looking lunch tote for a friend of mine but I'm not sure I've really bonded with the project; as a bag designer I might not be a rockstar. We'll see. I've been thinking of resurrecting my years old quilt project. I'll be damned if I remember what I had planned but I do have the fabric and some of the initial pieces assembled.

While Mom was here we saw a couple of flicks: Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D...story was really dull and the characters weren't really funny or engaging but the 3D was fantastic...I can't wait to see what Pixar does with Tru3D in this summer's release, Up. Mom and I also went to see I Love You, Man. We laughed our arses off. We were two of three patrons in the theater so we felt pretty comfortable enjoying ourselves. I think Forgetting Sarah Marshall was better but I'm actually kind of hopeful that comedies might actually be improving: two that I've enjoyed in one year. I don't know how long its been since that has happened. I've gone decades without enjoying two comedic releases. 'Sides: I love me some Jason Segal. Isn't he cute?

Headaches
I took myself off of Topamax. I hated every single minute of it. I might have been able to live with it at 50 mg if it had made any difference in my headaches. I think I was actually getting more headaches with the Topamax although they seemed perhaps a bit more easily treated...they just kept coming back. It is very nice to not be a zombie; the Topamax made me a total idiot and I was overhelmingly tired, even at the low dose. Even so, as I was reading about the drug's efficacy I was finding that "successful" trials were those where 48% of patients reduced their headache frequency by about half ---still leaving lots of headaches, if you ask me. The cost-benefit just wasn't working in its favor.

I've read a few encouraging references lately and decided to take myself to the Jefferson Headache Center in Philly. It seems odd to me that the field of neurology still has few answers to offer the migraneur but these guys at Jefferson at least seem to have a fairly sound understanding of the multi-factorial etiology and therefore understand that prevention and treatment must also address those many factors. My big day at the headache clinic? July 14. That's right: 3 months away. Holy hell.

I suppose the one positive thing to come out of this recent experiment with the neurologist is that I've gotten a lot better about documenting my headaches and their circumstances. I can easily now substantiate that about 75% of my headaches are tightly associated with moderate to large-ish changes in atmospheric pressure. Bad news? Kind of tough to manage that risk factor...

Parking Lot Chutzpah -- Fourteen Years of Suffering

2009-04-01T23:56:00.003-04:00

I think this could make for a recurring segment or perhaps a community affair---the behavior of people driving their cars in parking lots astounds me. Fourteen years ago today (yes, on April Fool's Day) I moved to Baltimore from Tallahassee to see what Rob and I might make of life together. I was completely unprepared for the culture of rushing, entitlement, self-importance, and utter comitment to warring over parking issues I found here. My relatively genteel southern-ish sensibilities still reel in disbelief...

Today, for instance. I needed a few items for my bed, bath and beyond so I headed up to the strip mall. This particular parking lot isn't known so much for bad behavior as it for poor planning: too many hard turns with inadequate turning space. Like any other place, of course, there is apparently a prize awarded to the driver who gets to park closest to his/her destination; details are fuzzy here but there must be some incentive because people go to absurd lengths to get that ONE spot while other ones just like sit vacant just a bit further away... but I digress. Having arrived, I parked far enough away from the competitive parkers in an otherwise unoccupied row; it was actually the second slot from the thruway. I sat in my car for a few moments listening to the end of an NPR story. Whilst I did so a woman approached in her BMW SUV and tried to swing into the one spot in between the cement row end and my car; of course she was unable, its an impossible angle. Can you imagine what she did? Yes...she gestured and later screamed and gestured more rudely that I should move my car so she could park in that one spot...never mind the hundreds of empty spots all around us.

I just hate that. I just put my car in drive and easily slid into a spot three over and went about my business. Funny how she was very distracted by something in her purse causing her head to be turned and eyes lowered for quite some time as I walked by her into the store...

Shameful

2009-03-31T20:45:00.002-04:00

That's all I can say of that Scott fellow on American Idol and his performances. Rob and I seriously even doubt that he's blind. You know what I think? I think he's some kind of agent...all the judges rave over his performances (even when they totally suck (which is almost always))...I wonder if the American Guide Dog Association has some sort of operation going on here. Dude--he totally oversung "Just The Way You Are" and he was missing notes all over the place. And we've not yet begun to discuss the sacred canon that is the Holy Works of Billy Joel (All Hail and Pass the Scotch).

Birthdays and Happy Things
Today would be the birthdays of my BFF Dave in Canada (far far away) and my good friend Jill (much nearer and that is greatly appreciated and of immense value). Happy Days.

I'm way way down to about 25% of the Topamax, feel much more lucid and able to get things done. I had a headache late today, a little Frova and short nap---good to go. So we'll see...will the light dose of Topamax change the character of my headaches sufficiently to allow me to manage them with limited impact? That would be cool.

Two days till Mom!

Specialty

2009-03-29T23:11:00.002-04:00

Here's the thing: I'm not a neurologist. Not even close. Can't even fake this one.

This headache business is such a quandry. Here I am, seven weeks into a new prevention/treatment regimen and:

not seeing any reduction in headache frequency
having lots and lots of nasty side effects from the "prevention" meds
flummoxed a good bit over 1 and 2
the revised headache treatment meds are more effective BUT---cause more disability---easily a full day of being knocked out.

So here I am, two months out and I still don't know if we've got a viable plan, Stan. I do know that most of the medical community calls my prevention drug "Topamax" either "dopamax" or "stupimax" and it ain't for nothing. I'm sure my IQ has dropped 20 points; I'm so foggy headed, constantly drowsy, often confused. Sometimes I feel like I would be unsafe driving, other times not.

I'm a bit of a tinkerer so I decided to see if there would be some middle ground. My first question was whether the headaches might be treated by a less aggressive treatment approach---so I decided that I'd go with the typical migraneur routine of 1 Frova tablet at onset and only move up to the mega-death cocktail if the headache hadn't remitted within an hour. Fair enough. What I've found is that in most cases, since taking the Topamax daily my headaches seem to be more likely to respond to standard tripans and loss of productivity is relatively low (assuming we can manage the side effects of dopamax). Unfortunately, I've also found that as quietly as the headaches slip away, they do seem to slip right back.

So then there's the matter of the Topamax for prevention. I'm not sure I've seen much prevention and there's some encouragement as to whether its moderating the severity. Frankly, I'm not sure the cost-benefit analysis is working out in its favor. Its a bitch of a drug; sorry for the PG-13 language but there's just no other way to say it. Its awful and I hate it. It has totally screwed up my sense of taste, killed my appetite (no complaints about that, really), and made me a veritable zombie...this really can't persist. I *AM* taking this into my own hands. Standard migraine prophy dose is 100mg and some patients go up to 200 mg. For some reason my neuro took me up to 200 before waiting to see if 100 would work. I'm taking it back down to 100 to see if my life is better there. If its not, Rob and I are going to have a chat about what to do next.

Happy Birthday, Kelley
Today Kelley Shannon celebrates her 19th birthday. Can't believe it! Happy birthday, Kells! I hope you do something wonderfully fun that makes you smile!

Here I Am

2009-03-19T10:26:00.004-04:00

I've been gone a long time. I haven't had much to say. Lots of headaches, lots of medicine, trying to make it all work together to not get headaches; that's the whole story. BOR-ing, demoralizing, unnerving. Doctor tells me that its not a coincidence that migraine patients always also have depression and anxiety problems because its part of a serotonin complex... whatever. Whether its cause or effect is something she has yet to convince me of. But I don't doubt that there's a tight association.

Good Stuff
Have you guys checked out Spectacle with Elvis Costello on the Sundance Channel? I've caught about eight episodes so far and its pretty quirky; I dig it. Elvis is not a natural interviewer by any stretch but his head is so full of musical and pop-culture reference that if he has a chatty guest the conversations can get pretty excellent. Some of the best I've seen were with Lou Reed and surprisingly, former US President Bill Clinton. Costello handled him with the same respect of any other guest but wasn't too fawning and Clinton was a bit more relaxed than usual. What I enjoy most in this series comes as a complete surprise: I really like listening to Costello and his band in this kind of loose and funky live environment much more than I like any of his recorded stuff which is saying a good bit. If you get a chance to watch, make sure you size up the band closely, there's very often some star talent there without much introduction or mention

[Excuses me a minute: Buble's band is workin' out the break in Kissin' a Fool. I wish that weren't so good]. OK, I'm back now. Check out the show if you can; the guest lineup is solid and I've caught Christian McBride in the band twice; Pat Metheny once... its kind of breathtaking.

Jewelry
Funny thing: my photographer really likes my jewelry; good thing since that's how I "pay" her. I get lots of shoppers, not many buyers. Etsy offers a social networking kind of experience so I've been tagged as a favorite by several Etsyers...but no cold sales yet. I'm not losing hope yet and I continue to expand my designs.

I like the creating part so its hardly sacrifice. I haven't had everything photographed but check these as my current favorites. Its hard to tell what you'll be able to discern on your browser but in real life, I love the gentle slope of the gold ear wires, the tight coils against the bead and the angle the bend in the ear wire---I've always loved jewelry that approached art and I'm stunned to have actually created some myself.

A couple of weekends ago I took a very intense class in wireworking; we produced a chunky charm bracelet with really fantastic, modern, handmade charms and beads. I need to get mine photographed and share. Exciting stuff.

Springers
I have guests heading this way! Dave and the Tuominator will be here just in time to celebrate Dave's birthday AND have a ritual Thursday sushi (likely accompanied by too much beer which will make it lucky that T. will be tagging along so he can drive; thanks!). And my MOMMY. All by her lonesome because sometimes its more fun when she comes solo. As it turns out, Rob will be out of town for most of her visit, the girls will be out of school so we'll just be wild girls and do whatever we want whenever...if you read of scandalous girl folk in the Maryland suburbs of DC...believe every minute of it!

Etsy Showcase

2009-03-04T11:35:00.004-05:00

Today is the day my merchandise is being featured in the Jewelry and Glass categories over at Etsy. Just in case you don't want to meander over there, the mountain has come to you:

Sparkling

2009-03-01T12:37:00.008-05:00

I've purchased some "feature" time on Etsy.com for Wednesday and I've therefore been furiously making some new pieces and trying to get them nicely photographed (thank you, Regina ). Sometimes, it just happens that ideas find YOU and I love it when that happens. Happen it did last night and I've made some things that are entirely different than I usually do.

(please note: these are MY interim crappy photos. Regina's will be fabulous and that's why she's a professional photographer and I'm not).

What we've got here are hand wrought 14kt gold plated copper wire earring wires and design elements with both rose agate beads and rose glass with gold foil discs.

I love them. I will likely keep one pair and perhaps both. They are near perfection so far as my taste in jewlery goes: funky, artsy and still of fine materials. I love the morass of wire wrap, the geometry of the hanger and loops. The wire was very difficult to work with as copper is very hard and this was 18 ga; my hands are kinda cut up. I ordered some other stuff that should be better and have more typical color; these will be on the pricey end of my stuff---likely about $35. Fair enough for good quality hand-crafted stuff, though. I spent a lot of time on these and the materials were NOT inexpensive at all.

My photog requested a few items as her bartered compensation that kind of pushed me down some new paths and I'm pretty excited with the ideas I've come up with; I have models ready for her to review and as soon as I have something, I'll be very excited to show you.

Status
Head still hurts, still knitting. Never heard back from the doc about this weekend's treatment which was beyond a bummer

Viral

2009-02-27T12:14:00.003-05:00

I mean that commercial---you know--Apple is all about grabbing you with a song; they've done it one hundred times already. This go round, its Franz Ferdinand's "No You Never Know" for their iPod Touch. And its hot. I heard it once and was singing it for days; the second time, I bought it and posted it for you. Popsters: this is definitely the gig you want.

Status
Headache continues. I'm seriously drugged; I've begun to use acronyms to refer to the combinations I need to take (e.g., XPF = xanax, phenergan, frova; XPF+= add fioricet and zofran..). We're supposed to begin what is called the Raskin protocol this weekend which is a series of 12 infusions spaced 8-hours apart of dihydroergotamine and reglan with the goal of literally beating the headache down. The challenge has been finding an infusion center to take the case otherwise its going to be an inpatient affair and god knows I don't want that.

No, you'll never know...

More of Me

2009-02-24T18:58:00.002-05:00

to love? I wonder... but blogs are largely navel contemplation devices although some of us mix in other material from time to time... but yeah; its a glorified journal. So now that we've established I don't need to apologize for talking on and on about myself on my blog, let's get down to business....

Last post found me reporting on trip to neurologist. Since then I've lived in two states: headache pain or unconscious from headache remedies. Not ideal, really. Nor acceptable. Today when my headache was back to just about back to get emergency care level, I called my neurologist who thought it expedient to proceed with occipital nerve blocks . Although the procedure of sticking needles into inflamed nerve tissue in your skull sounds dubious at best, it makes sense that the lidocaine and steroids would indeed sooth irritate tissues so if that's what is causing the headache, it follows... so I found myself with needles poking in my head, burning lidocaine, waiting for the promised numbness. Nada. Zippo. Zilch. Nuttin'. No help at all.

Much scratching of heads. Clearly, a headache that has resisted treatment including a double shot of dilaudid for a month is seriously entrenched and objective one must be chasing THIS one away before settling into a routine, and likely less aggressive, regimen for prevention and rescue. How amazing is this? For prevention, I have these:

Topamax (an anti-convulsant currently enjoying great success in migraine prophy)
Seroquel-- low dose (anti-psychotic at high doses, has much seritongernic activity---allegedly just the ticket for migraines)

Now, should these meds fail to prevent the onset of migraine, I should take the following:

Frova -- a drug of the wonder-triptan class
Xanax -- because a)migraines make people anxious and, b) biochemically migraines and anxiety are serotonin-based maladies. It may- not be really possible to treat one without treating the other.
Phenergan -- because nausea is a huge part of the migraine experience
Fioricet-- an old school analgesic for migraines, just in case.
Maxalt -- another triptan to rotate in the regimen to avoid likelihood of rebounding
Zofran -- an antinausea, anti-emetic---ditto for rotating with phenergan..

Yeesh.

Me, Me, Me....and a few other things

2009-02-22T12:37:00.003-05:00

I couldn't be a bit happier than I am today. Well, actually I could now that I wrote that so that just goes to show you...don't go looking gift horses in the mouth.

So what's up with all this joy? Well, I'll tell ya. Last night I took possession of some seriously awesome photographs of my handcrafted jewelry. Regina Brown, of RMB Photography here in Germantown (and also the mother of a Mini-Maniac and Knitting Club devotee) agreed to trade services with me so she took some great shots of my jewelry to post in my Etsy shop and now I'll get to work designing a lovely custom piece for her to wear... bartering services is such an excellent thing: we both end up with something we would like to have that ends up translating to greater exposure for the craftsman/artist...fantastic. I came to appreciate Regina's work over the years as she photographed our daughters' soccer matches and if you've been a reader, you've definitely seen her work here---she's amazing and indeed, most parents have stopped bringing their cameras; waiting instead for Gina's near-weekly distributions. You can look at her stuff (don't miss the category labelled "Artistic") here . I'd love for you to browse my shop (you don't have to be a customer...) but here's a quick slideshow of the photos Gina did for me...if you saw what I had up previously, you'll see the difference an experienced photographer makes immediately.

I'm looking forward to inviting Gina to do some family portraits for us in the Spring.

Oh My Aching Head
Well, I'm not making light of this at all. I was first diagnosed with migraines in 1986; a quick little math tells me that was about 23 years ago (oh, how that Master's degree in Biostatistics comes in handy...). Horrible, aching behind the eye, nausea, aversions to light and sound, I have lived some periods very much like a vampire. I need not say that migraines are largely inconsistent with parenting or even, sometimes, marriage. Still...when a migraine strikes, the victim is just...stricken...its not your world any longer, you are merely the owner of the head, the receiving end of the nerve signals from hell. I have often said were it not for the fact I'm so attached to my head, I'd cut the damn thing off---such is the pain. Were I able to take a canula (a metal straw-like thingie) and insert it through my eyeball into the specific loci of pain, I'd have done it years ago and be done with it. Seriously. I've very often found that I've bruised myself by applying pressure to the orbit of my eye where the pain is focussed. That's not good.

In all of these 23 years, I've never really had any reliable help for them. Initially doctors would give prescriptions for narcotics but then they'd begin to worry that maybe too many narcotics were being taken and they'd be less available...never mind that they don't get rid of the headaches, they just make me less unhappy about them---in the end its just a trade of an unhappy disability for a stoned disability...if that's my only choice I'll take it, but its not good. We tried to prevent getting them with all kinds of meds that made me sleepy, made my blood pressure bottom out, made me nauseous and none of them got rid of the headaches...so we don't do that. And recently, the class of drugs called the triptans have come along. These actually work. Some of the time. Perhaps about 50% of the time they will stop a headache dead in its tracks in about 30 minutes. Better than a sharp stick in the eye, right? (Did you read the paragraph up there? I'm so funny) I'm not so sure. Over the last year, I've found that when the triptans DON'T work, the headaches go on for daaaaaayyyys---they've always been 48 - 72 hour affairs but I'm talking about weeks. I mean, end up in the Emergency Room in hysterics---that's happened *3* times in the last year. It happened last Tuesday after, oh, about 18 consecutive days of debilitating headache with no reprieve. After calling my physician ("you need to see a neurologist"), after going to an urgent care place ("your doctor didn't do anything for you?").

So on Thursday see a Neurologist I did. Please hope for me that her plan works. She thinks that she can prevent about 90% of my headaches by taking daily Topamax and that we can abort the other 10% with a potent cocktail of a triptan, phenergan and xanax. Boys and girls, since Thursday, I've taken three such cocktails. Yep, they make the headache go away. Yep, they make me unconscious. And yes, the headache comes right back within 12 hours or so. Lord help me.

Thanks to all of you who have been so sympathetic, those of you who have understood my abrupt cancellations, those of you who just keep being my friends even though I have this totally messed up condition that interferes with normal life. Its a good thing I'm so damn charming when I feel well, ain't it????

Sobering

2009-02-15T21:54:00.003-05:00

On a recent episode of PBS' Now, the Mayor of Charlotte,NC was thrust in the limelight in celebration of his successful implementation of a light-rail system that has been godsend in the last year or so. Put forward as an indication of that success, the re-development of low-income, high crime neighborhoods into thriving urban center complete with mixed zoning for residence, business and entertainment. All hail the reclamation of a "bad neighborhood", the increased mobility of taxpayers paying fares...

This has bothered me for years: universally, rising property values are heralded as indicators of thriving communities, successful public policy and sound development strategies. In those neighborhoods that have been "turned around" were residents. People who lived where they did out of economic necessity. Where do those people go? Because, you know,its not like they're being given one of those $500,000 two-bedroom condos.

Recently, I found this website. Beginning with a rundown on the global issue of poverty and urban slums, the presentation of information details the problem of urban poverty and housing.. For example, just for a start: Mumbai's population of ~19 million includes about 12 million persons living in urban slums. That city has a population density of 30 people per square METER.

Where do we go from there?

Oh, yeah; and another thing...

2009-02-05T20:36:00.003-05:00

My friend Dagmar has launched a blog after many years of thinking about it. Crafters, Mommys, fun people, take a peek at Sheep on a Spring. Dag is a generous, creative, enthusiastic and energetic woman; it was she who spied me knitting at a soccer practice and invited me to join her group of German and Eastern European ex-pat knitters and held my hand through my first socks. Had her husband not blind-sided me with his change of job that moved them all to Albequerque, I'm sure Dagmar and I would have become even greater friends. The internet will just have to do for now.

You're kidding, right?

2009-02-05T18:09:00.004-05:00

Happily driving along last night to drop off new items for the A Sparkle in Time shop to be photographed, I found myself listening to NPR coverage of Pres. Obama's plan to cap salaries for executives of institutions on the receiving end of bailout funds---at $500,000 per year. Its a ceiling I think many could (should?) live with. I'm very displeased to learn that very many of the institutions who have already received part of those 700 billion bucks have allowed for lavish bonuses, renovations, etc. Mr. Obama was being tactful when he said those decisions were "shameful". I think, perhaps, they might represent criminal disregard for the objectives of the assistance.

You might imagine I was *FIRED UP* (should have changed the station...) and then these total dillweed analysts (more like trumped up PR folks for those at risk of losing their megasalaries) offered their perspective on the likely outcome of those salary caps:

"[Impacted executives] might leave to find jobs where they are paid more, that's my concern, that the restrictions are so deep that the leadership won't stay," Lindner told AFP."

"...he argued that the move "may have some consequences," such as "not being able to get the kind of leadership the organizations need to recover quickly.""

Excuse me a moment while I recover, won't you?

So we should be worried that the nogoodsonsabitches that created the mess, profiting mightily with apparent impunity, might take their marbles and go somewhere else? Make my f*cking day. Vaya con dios. Get the hell out. I can not believe that those "analysts" have the temerity to stand before microphones, reporters, the world and likely the course of history and say something so deeply self-serving and misguided. These are the days, gentle readers, when its a very good thing that I do not own a handgun. Go ahead, big banker boys, go somewhere else. Work your "magic" and your "highly specific skill sets", your "expertise" elsewhere. How about China? Maybe you could do for them what you've done for us (or...do for us what you've done for them...).

Happier stuff
I met with the coordinator/sponsor of our ES's drama club today. I'm going to help with costumes and I'm very psyched about it. They're doing Beauty and the Beast and what I saw of rehearsals its going to be fabulous.

Knitting Club starts back up next week and I'm ever so grateful for Marietta who has given in to my whining and will back me up for the first two sessions since the early days are always so frenetic.

I'm loving my new Rockin' Sock Club project, Queen of Beads. Take a look at these babies:

Its a bit difficult to discern but the pattern is lattice work diamonds creating negative-space ovals, all punctuated with little clusters of glass beads. Obviously, these will be wear around the house to keep your feet warm socks, not squish into your boots socks. The pattern, and the yarn, colorway, are just delightful. Good thing, too, because I just finished the last installment of the 2008 sock club and despite the fact that they feel great and the yarn is pretty, they're the ugliest damn socks I've ever made and the pattern was a PITA. To finish this first sock I have just about 2 inches more of the foot before beginning to shape the toe. They'll be on my feet soon enough!

I hope you're all warm and well!

Guest Spot: Special K takes on Trinity (Revisited)

2009-02-03T09:38:00.003-05:00

Special K has been an amazing addition to my family, a kindred spirit I may have never known were it not for Lyman's marriage to the exceptional Carrie and blog link lists... from these virtual connections has grown a lovely friendship that allows us to share our common interests in music, literature, crafting, politics and snarky cynicism. K gave to me a mix cd a couple of years ago that has really directed my attention to a load of great music I'm not sure I'd have noticed otherwise...a major gift for a girl like me....Without further ado, I give you Special K!

The Cowboy Junkies: Trinity (Revisited)

Back when I was in college, owning the Cowboy Junkies Trinity Sessions was a mark of discriminating taste. And it was and probably still is one of my top five fave albums. There is not one bad song on that album. The album was recorded in 1987 in a church in Canada called The Church of the Holy Trinity, hence the name. Now, twenty years later, the Cowboy Junkies have released Trinity Revisited, and, to make it, they popped back to the Church of the Holy Trinity, re-recorded all the songs (most with guest artists) and the new album is all the songs, in order.

One of the guest singers is Natalie Merchant, whose low, sweet tones are a really nice accompaniment to the sort of old-fashioned lyrics but lead singer Margo Timmon's voice as well. Merchant sings on quite a few songs – notably Misguided Angel, To love is to Bury (which has the gorgeous reminiscence of an old Irish folk song) and Walking after Midnight (a Patsy Cline cover) . I'm nuts about those songs, because I love Natalie Merchant, and they're just great songs in general.

A few of the other "covers" (is it a cover if it's the same artist?) rub me the wrong way because the guest singers – alternately these two country singers Ryan Adams and Vic Chesnutt (I can't really tell them apart) – voices don't seem to meld as gracefully with the songs as Margo's. Of course, I've listened to this album like, four thousand times, so hearing a man's voice where I'm used to the dulcet tones of the Cowboy Junkies is a jarring experience.

But the most pressing question about this whole "Revisited" issue is whether the Cowboy Junkies have done something interesting or simply produced some ridiculous hackery? It's somewhat interesting to redo these beloved songs twenty years later and see what happens – but, what has happened is, honestly: not much. It's not like their aesthetic has changed, and for the most part, the arrangements are similar. Now, I don't have a great vocabulary for talking about aural artisty, but I can talk somewhat endlessly (and fascinatingly! Ha!) about the visual arts. So, sometimes when I'm listening to new music, I like to think in terms of visual arts. Like, this one time we went to a modern music concert, and I was like, "Ugh, this sucks!" But, then I thought, "Hey, a lot of people thought Jackson Pollock was horrible, and I love his paintings..." so, I try to listen to music with the same open mind that I bring to visual art. The (visual) art equivalent of Trinity Revisited would be if my favorite artist decided to repaint or resculpt her most famous work 20 years later. And not just that, but to rent out the same studio and buy the same materials and brushes that they used 20 years ago, and completely recreate the same work. Now, that... THAT's kinda lame, right?

God help me, but, even though I like a few of the songs on the album, they don't really bring anything new to the songs, which is, if you ask me, the only reason to cover a song, because, otherwise, what's the point? Even Celine Dion knows that. I wish the Cowboy Junkies had rather spent some time putting together another awesome album instead of remaking an old awesome one.

Parenting: the nerve to say "No"

2009-01-29T21:02:00.002-05:00

ay yi yi. Kids today, you know? Overindulged, demanding, irresponsible...

Middle School
Yes, No, It can't be true. Tonight our family took Thing Number 1 for an information session about Middle School. We are ALL just agog that we have a child making that big step. Eight class periods per day, electives, lockers, big increase in homework. Thing Number 1 is on the fast track for mostly accelerated coursework; I have no concerns about her academically in this transition. Socially it will be the big change that it is for everyone... especially as T1 and her bff will be enrolled in different schools.

All kids must take a foreign language and a music offering: choral, band or string instruments. The timing on this decision making is pretty ironic as T1 has been scurrying frenetically lately to improve her flute skills for an upcoming "concert" (that I fully expect to be absolutely awful...). After 4 months of weekly classes, Ms. T1 is barely able to reliably produce sound from the mouth pipe. She's able to read about 4 or five notes on the treble clef; she's pretty clueless about time signatures and their impact on notation. I know---its just fifth grade. But. I had not heard her toot a single toot until mere days before the concert... I'm pleased that I didn't strangle her that first evening when I had to position and re-position the mouth pipe for her, put objects on the floor for her to direct her wind... she HAS improved. A lot.

So after tonight's little seminar, Ms. T1 said, "I wish I didn't have to choose between choral music and band"--indeed; many a kid has felt that way. She went on to say, "here's what I think: I *really* want to take chorus. And I really want to play flute. So why don't we enroll me in private flute lessons and I'll take chorus at school." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAF*CKITYHA. No.

Did I mention that last year she "played" clarinet? Again, I don't flog people to put in their practice hours and I rarely heard a honk from that horn. So I said, "Ya know, if you want to take chorus, that's fine with me. But I'm not going to pay for private flute lessons until you demonstrate some commitment and initiative."

I think this is absolutely a reasonable approach. I think its fair. I think it encourages her to focus and follow through on her chosen pursuits. You know what she thinks? Mean Mommy. Terribly, terribly Mean Mommy.

And this is the thing about parenting: I hate it when they're unhappy with me. But I'd rather they be unhappy with me than allow myself to make decisions that don't serve the kid or the family well. I think for Mother's Day they should give me a shirt that says Mean Mommy. Better that than do nothing to shape their work ethic and life skills.

Coming Soon
A return to musical musing and a guest spot from Special K. Do tune back in!

The Day After...

2009-01-21T22:17:00.004-05:00

I hope that the Bush family all slept in late in Crawford. I hope they're enjoying being relieved of their 24-7 official duties. I hope most of all that Laura Bush gets her life back the way she likes it. I hope they never come back. This is one of my favorite images from the remarkable day yesterday:

Now, I hate to be catty and I know that there are those who will disagree with me but I thought that Dr. Mrs. Biden's outfit for the inaugural ceremony was AWFUL and completely inappropriate. On what was the official event of one of our Nation's most historic days her above-the-knee hemline with 3-inch heeled boots (suede, I think, even! All she needed was some fringe off the back!) revealed an amazing lack of decorum. And futzing about with her handbag all day, wrestling with her coat as she approached the White House...really... And the Vice-President showing none of the effortless attentiveness to his wife that the President did for the First Lady. It seemed to me that Mr. President just intuitively knew exactly where his wife was, whether she might need an arm for support or a brief pause to keep in time... Mr. VP? Not so much. Dr. Ms. Biden, however, did look absolutely lovely in her red gown which was sophisticated and quite spot-on. Mrs. Obama's was a bit, too, uh... debutante for me. Might have been OK without the flouncy ruffles on the shoulder strap, better still without what looked like bedspread flocking... admittedly, it had fantastic drape and hung beautifully as she moved about.

I loved the original artistic contributions of the day, "Air and Simple Gifts" and "Praise Song for the Day". I wish that Elizabeth Alexander might have shared with us a fraction of the joy she surely felt and which YoYo Ma so delightfully put on display.

It was a weepy day again: overjoyed, relieved, hopeful. I was very moved by Mr. Obama's remarks, taken by his courage in being so forthright about what has gone wrong very recently in the immediate presence of those responsible... you know at one point, I'm pretty sure I heard Mrs. Bush say, "oh! Snap! No he di'int!" Did you guys catch that, too?

But my favorite, favorite, favorite thing about all of the televised aspects of the coverage? Malia Obama with her little camera taking photos of everything, and most especially, of her handing her camera to the Vice-President and asking him to snap a shot when he had a better vantage point than she... how cute is that?

The Daily Show had a great recap and had Bishop Gene Robinson on for a spot that happened to be one of the most hilarious comebacks from a guest on that show:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Bishop Gene Robinson

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

And today, the four-day weekend came to an end and I must say, I collapsed. We all had a great time, stayed pretty busy and I don't really have all the endurance for that just yet. I did *finally* get to put together a new piece for my Etsy shop. What do you think? Its "Murano-style" glass with 14 kt gold accenting rounds and twisted hogan beads. I really, really like it. I'll have to have a photo-shoot day after I get a pile more stuff made but for now, a crappy iPhone photo it is.

Meme-ry...

2009-01-18T17:10:00.004-05:00

I've dodged many a meme but recently Jill posted a cool one. I enjoyed reading her answers, was once again struck by how much we have in common, and it gave me a lot to think about. So, not surprisingly, I will now indulge myself in responding to the tag:

1. Your house is on fire. All the people and pets are already out and safe. You can take only one thing with you. What will it be and why?

Its not an easy decision, to be sure. My first inclination is to say my flute because I can think of no other inanimate thing that has contributed so much to shaping my life and I am eternally indebted to my grandparents who bought it for me lest my music studies be stalled at an early stage. As much as it would grieve me to leave that to burn, I would take my computer. It has all of my music, all of my photos, all of my business: personal and professional. And let's not forget: all of my friends live in it.

2. A benefactor has agreed to fund you for a year. There are no strings attached - you can do whatever you'd like for 12 months, practical or frivolous, and have it all paid for by this person. What will you do?

Some amounts of pleasure and service, I think. I'd like to respond to whatever natural disaster recovery is happening at the moment and have the resources of this benefactor to remove the financial considerations that have hindered scientifically solid, compassionate public health response in the past. I'd want to bring together everything I've learned in public health and put it to very good use in mitigation at the grass-roots level.

I would like to spend about 3 months traveling with my husband and kids, purely for culture and relaxation. They can return home at the end of our stay in Provence where I will remain for some culinary training.

There'd be some purchasing to be done: I'd like to secure the education funding for my children, nieces and nephews, provide for good housing for all of us PLUS a nice family vacation home where we could spend entire summers (without killing each other).

Finally, I'd wrap the year up with an intensive guitar internship (and possible light necking) with Eric Clapton.

3. Tell me about your favorite place (you can take this any way you like it — a cozy chair, an interesting continent). Why is it your favorite? When did you first go there? When did you last go there? What is your favorite memory there? Is there someone you would especially like to take there?

No question about it: my living room, on the couch. It is peaceful, lovely, comfortable and it is the one place (other than my sweet little beddy-bye) where I am completely at ease. I was last there about 20 minutes ago. I think my favorite memory in that room would have to be of playing Scattergories with all of my kids, parents, nieces and nephews crammed in on the floor... but the Mullen Movie Night escapades are way up at the top of this list, too...

4. Of all the things that you have made or done in your life so far, what are you most proud of? Why does the thing you picked mean the most to you?

Of course I'm proud of my children and of the ways being a mother has allowed me to grow into a more patient, fun, kind person. But what I'm most proud of is believing in Rob's honor and love for me, of valuing my estimation of those things above all else in choosing to run away with him. Supreme case of quieting the head and following the heart taking the day (or life). Building a life with Rob is without a doubt the very best thing I've ever done.

5. What "makes" a present for you - in other words, what transforms an object from something that might make a "meh" gift into one that is special to you?

Totally difficult to articulate but there is a definite something that I'll take a stab at. I'm quite difficult to shop for because I know exactly what I want and I mostly already have it. But the great gifts are about the gift's revelation of the giver's personal knowledge and fond engagement with me and my life. Not surprisingly, then, most of the gifts I've treasured most in recent years have been whimsical: the Buddha salt and pepper shakers (aka, "the god of salt and the god of pepper") from Neiman Marcus, funny Christmas jammies. Rob is absolutely the most enthusiastic, committed and astute gift giver I've ever known. Lucky me. Every gift reveals his admiration for me...somehow, somewhere, I musta' done something good to deserve him.

Watch out! I'll be tagging folks to do likewise soon!

This Neglected Blog

2009-01-16T09:36:00.008-05:00

I've had a decent week, busier than I had hoped but somehow didn't accomplish what I'd hoped. How does that happen? I'll tell you: there are NO laundry, house-cleaning, or put everything away fairies to be found here. None. Not one. Zippo. Ninguno. So. If I didn't do it, "it" didn't get done. Go figure.

.

So, Flight of the Conchords is back for Season Two. I love Jermaine and Bret. I'm not sure which I love more, actually. They're such cute dorks. Bret actually looks much like my long-time friend Scott who I'm *actually* in real live person going to see play drums tomorrow night (One Ton Wonton, Clare and Dan's Beach Shack, Falls Church, VA) for the first time since High School.... I've been trying to make it to a gig of his for several years but its just not that easy when you have wee kids at home.

Amusements
Reading: Hot, Flat and Crowded by Thomas Friedman. A fantastic book about America losing its global edge of leadership in so many regards, how these situations point necessarily to some very big change, especially in energy and environmental policy and how America may be able to rally by taking a strong role in this change. I don't find the book to be at all partisan but there's no shortage of responsibility assigned to certain leaders for failure to progress thus far. Its a thoughtful piece of work.

Music: I'm very Wilco these days; have been for a while. I'm currently OBSESSED with this song

"Either Way" -- Wilco
Love the lyrics, love the melody, wanna scream about the big fat guitar sound in the bridge. Wilco is usually more "noisy"---lots of odd instrumentation, much more jangly and I love that but this song, Tweedy's voice and control....its right up there with David Baerwald's more optimistic (she laughed!) stuff.

I'm also growing very fond of Bon Iver; thanks to Lyman for assembling and sharing his top 25 albums of 2008.

Handiwork: Knitting; trying to finish a pair of socks (the second-sock curse all knitters know). They're possibly the ugliest socks I've ever knit but they will be warm and lord knows we've been needing such things... Also spinning lots and LOVING it. Only problem? I have lots of full spindles but I'm not so motivated to set the yarn and liberate the spindles so I can move on. Of course, there's always the option of procuring MORE spindles.... which I can't deny I have begun to do...

Occupations:
This whole working thing: love the cash, don't like the time-suck. I'm learning to deal with it. With the inaugural fast approaching, the project I've been engaged on is rolling. Its good, I like it but I am feeling the loss of autonomy a bit. Did I ever mention that I'm really pretty undisciplined? yeah, its true. sorry.

Jewelry: I haven't made in any for a while. I've ordered a bunch more materials so I've got plenty of ideas for fabulous stuff but I'm waiting for the arrival of key items: watch heads, wire, that stuff. I can tell you that the inventory piece is kind of laborious...pricing the materials, labelling them, organizing so things are accessible and visible...

Inaugural 2009
Well, since I really missed the entirety of the holidays we've decided to make a winter festival of this four-day weekend. I even have a few little gifties for my family of citizens. Since the people who know are projecting really long waits for transportation, we've opted out of attending in person. Instead, we'll head into DC tomorrow to take a look at the bunting and stuff and spend Tuesday watching on TV with a holiday breakfast and general happiness.

I hope you all have a great weekend and a great, historic observation of MLK Day and the Inaugural. I must away now to get the party started with knitterly fun with Jill who has promised home made bread...twist my arm, sister!

The Beat Goes On....

2009-01-11T18:59:00.001-05:00

Hey! Where did she go?

Well, remember back when I spent Christmas and then some in the hospital? And I left my gallbladder with them as a measure of my good confidence in their healing powers? HA! Twixt now and then I've spent untold hours over 2 visits in the ER and 4 days in hospital as Doctor 1 and Doctor 2 proceeded to scratch their heads and accomplish little else. Finally, on Day 4 an endoscopy revealed an alimentary track riddled with lesions..."oh, Ms. Hurt-Mullen! So THAT'S why your having so much discomfort! Wow! Sorry about that. grumblegrumblegrmbgrmbgrrrmmmb.

So now I am home with 8 weeks worth of meds that will hopefully allow the ulcers to heal. It ain't no damn fun. Plus after all this unwellness plus hospital time, I have a serious sleep deficit going on. Cross your fingers that things perk up soon.

To kick off the New Year, I'm plunging into a new venture. Called "A Sparkle in Time", I've an Etsy.com shop where I hope to sell some hand-made jewelry, mostly watches. I have very little merchandise up just now (there is SO much to do getting this rolling) but I add things every day. Feel free to check it out at www.SparkleInTime.Etsy.com

The scoop

2008-12-27T09:42:00.005-05:00

Ok, here's a quick rundown on the events of recent days:

I started having bad abdominal pain about 10 pm Christmas Eve which was accompanied by shortness of breath. I thought it was anxiety so i took half a xanax and continued with my business. Went to bed ASAP but was unable to sleep 'cuz things hurt. Badly.

At 4:30 am i decided that it would be foolish to tough out several hours hoping for an unspoiled holiday morning withe girls as i was pretty certain i'd soon be unable to do much more than whine and whimper. I awoke Rob to drive me to the ER. A quick workup revealed a gallbladder attack .... So woooosh, off to the hospital to have it yanked. A second procedure (general anesthesia twice in one day.....erg) was requird to remove the stones that were lodged in ducts outside the gallbladder and that was a living hell of a procedure (called ERCP, i'll explain another time).

So that was yesterday. I really thought i d be going home today but i'm actually still having some kind of problem with
my tummy. We just changed antibiotics and pain meds so perhaps there's a chance i'll get to leave.

Thanks for the encouragement and good cheer. Rob's only living paternal relation passed away on Christmas day (as did his father
about 15 years ago....) and his mom's dog is mysteriously and severely ill. This is not turning out to be the holiday we'd hoped for....

What it Is...

2008-12-21T12:56:00.003-05:00

Its been busy and we've had colds. Long time no post.

Mullen Movie Night 2008

Well, it was the fifth (or sixth, we can't recall) edition of Mullen Movie Night. TOO MUCH FUN! With many of the kids in their last year(s) of High School I was feeling a little unprepared to plan an entire evening of entertainment so we had a planning committee to guide the preparations. The movie lineup ended up as National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (completely age-inappropriate as it turns out; thanks Rob), Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (me and Spenser loved it) and Wall*E (which we didn't get to watch as Movie 2 wrapped at 1:00AM!). For holiday crafting we decorated holiday-themed hats with assorted baubles; you can see in the photos that we ended up with quite the unique creations... Secret Santa was a blast with an assortment of funny gifts strangely paired with precisely the right kid and... Spenser and Connor wanted to put together a collaborative, commemorative music mix so that ended up being quite the eclectic set of tunes. Fun! Links here and here of MMN of years past...I wish I could find the others. They are REALLY growing up fast!

Christmas
approaches! I finally got my out-of-town stuff in the mail assured they'd arrive in time; I have so little left to do in terms of the gifting part that if nothing else gets done, it really would not matter. I love that. I'm very excited. Our holiday meal is pretty low key so its now really all about the fun of wrapping, caroling and baking... Ho Ho Ho!

Finally, recently Jill posted the original video of IU men's a capella group performing their extremely tight, energetically arranged, deftly performed arrangement of Twelve Days of Christmas. Its been yanked off of YouTube but the following performance from last week is up. Its a bit more contrived than the original but still really great. Thanks, Jill!

Check it:

Guest Spot: Lyman Medeiros on Cassandra Wilson's Belly of the Sun (which he picked out for me a couple years ago...)

2008-12-16T21:44:00.006-05:00

Few regular readers here will fail to associate Lyman's name with his musicianship but just in case, that's all well documented in various places but LMBass.com is a good place to start. Lyman's real claim to fame, though, is that he's my little cousin who over the course of years has kinda worked his way up through the ranks to what a good brother should be: totally in awe of me, more than good-looking enough to be seen on his arm most places and completely, totally smart, cool and accomplished. If Lyman weren't my brousin (like that?), he might actually be able to make a case for a restraining order against me. I love me some Lyman, his wife and relentlessly adorable son, his dog, his politics, his music. Take it away, Lym...

"Genre-combining is nothing new to jazz. You see, most jazz musicians playing today did not grow up listening to jazz, it has not been 'pop' music since the 1940s, as a result many of today's jazz musicians churn out records combing jazz with their love of funk, rap, R&B, pop, etc. So when jazz vocalist Cassandra Wilson decided to make a record in an abandoned train station in Clarksdale, Mississippi to explore the Delta Blues and Roots music of her youth, the concept itself wasn't new. But the effectiveness in which she combined the two genres creating something truly special and unique makes "Belly of the Sun" a rare masterpiece.

Often a record that combines jazz with another idiom simply means a DJ cutting on some old Blue Note vinyl or an bebop sax solo over an indie-rock beat leaving you to realize that the two genres haven't been combined but merely superimposed. But on "Belly of the Sun" nothing is forced and every sound is natural.

The Weight -- Cassandra Wilson
You Gotta Move -- Cassandra Wilson
Waters of March -- Cassandra Wilson
Shelter From the Storm -- Cassandra Wilson
Wichita Lineman -- Cassandra Wilson

The album opens with a version of the Southern Rock classic "The Weight" by the band. Wilson's rich and seductive voice really captures a new essence of the song. The un-traditional jazz rhythm section of percussion, steel-string guitar, and upright bass set the tone for the rest of the record. "Darkness on the Delta" is a fantastic old Delta standard with Wilson being accompanied by a honky-tonk upright piano. It is slow and stride-style in character but the song refrains from sounding like homage with Wilson's contemporary phrasing. "Waters of March" is a A.C. Jobim bossa nova but with this new interpretation you would never know it, the song sounds like it was written for the Mississippi river. The closest we come to traditional Delta blues is "You Gotta Move", a slow foot-stomper featuring group vocals and slide guitar. "Rio/Only a Dream", "Just Another Parade", and "Shelter From The Storm" sound like tunes you would hear on a contemporary jazz record yet once again the banjos, percussion, and slide guitar seem to create an entirely new genre. Her slow, slow cover of "Wichita Lineman" is haunting.

I could go on and on about the thirteen tracks on this record, there is real innovation happening here. Its a mystery to me why this record didn't recieve enormous crossover success, but I chalk it up to one of the many unsung "hidden gems" that have been released over the years. I love "Belly of the Sun", it is one of my all-time favorites. I'm sure you would as well.

The Year in My Music

2008-12-15T19:34:00.003-05:00

I'm an under-utilized analytical machine, this is a fact. In the absence of very many serious analytical questions lately, I decided to leverage the huge wealth of information stored in iTunes about how/when/where/what I listen to. I've been surprised.

iTunes users know that very much of their listening experience is recorded: not merely information about the music itself but when it was added to your library, when it was last listened to (date AND time), how many times its been played... I thought it might be an informative way to characterize the relative value of particular purchases and go a bit further in zeroing in on the music that makes me happy. There are mulitple ways I listen to music but by and large, all of them hook into my iTunes data in some way: my Apple devices all dump their data, my Squeezeboxes all do as well, ditto for listening from my pc. This leaves only radio listened to in the car and the occassional play of actual cds; both fairly atypical.

Here's the high level summary:
Total number of unique songs played: 5,261
Total number of song plays: 68,613
Est. of play time in minutes: 3431 hours (using average play time of 3.5 min/song).

This works out to about 10 hours of music play time per day over the last year. Even to me, this seems like a lot. Not excessive...but... certainly validation of my claims that I spend a LOT of time listening. I wonder how these numbers stack up against others?

*should note that every night I drift off to sleep with the 'pod playing; usually for about an hour...

Ho Ho Holy Mess in my Kitchen

2008-12-13T17:39:00.003-05:00

Cranberry/Chrysanthemum centerpieces...

Whew. What a day that was.

Rob (and therefore, I) hosted a going away party for a long time, very loyal staffer at Chez Nous. And not just any party...no. That would not do. With Rob as chef du cuisine and myself as sous chef, Rob whipped up both his signature interpretation of Paul Prudhomme's Chicken Big Mamou on Pasta and Shrimp Diane. For *twenty* people. Despite his really admirable efforts to prepare much in advance, the poor host still spent over half the party at the stove. Thank goodness we have a very open floor plan so that the revelers gathered at the kitchen table and in the family room were not out of earshot...because Rob certainly could NOT allow them to gather and not monitor their conversation....

Great crowd, really. The majority of Rob's crew have been on board since before Haley was born so we're well acquainted and happy to be together. There have been a handful of new positions added to his supervision in recent years and they seem an affable enough lot. There were kids, there were newlyweds, there were lots of grown ups for me to talk with... good food, good fun. Rob can sure 'nuff do the cajun thing.

Other than smiling, keeping the food on plates and everyone happily engaged, I had little official role other than responsibility for music which Rob stipulated could be anything I wanted so long as it was 1. instrumental, and 2. included some of that hep cat Lyman Medeiros' work... I enjoyed being able to synchronize the music throughout the house via my Squeezeboxes; that's much better than the single stereo blaring in one room or the schizophrenia of seperate selections depending on the room...

The event was scheduled to begin at noon. The first guest arrived at ...... noon. Bam! Boys and Girls: that is JUST uncalled for. I was not yet even in the shower, having JUST finished the mopping. Folks finally drifted out at 5-ish and just as we were settling into the post-party glow, snuggled into blankets in the living room with books and tunes... ding dong! The curiously missing guest arrived asking, "oh no! Am I the First Guest??" Oh. Not by a long shot, Dear. Thank goodness Rob directed her the other way through the house so I could dash upstairs and change out of my jammies...

Nitrous, Augers and Wool...Oh my!

2008-12-05T13:23:00.005-05:00

I began this morning with an appointment with my dentist. Of all the things that an adult must do to maintain or remedy their health, visiting the dentist is the most unpleasant for me (read: I'm terrorized by it). Shortly before Thanksgiving I began to have a lot of pain in a lower molar; the dentist thought he'd be able to get by with just a filling... but no. Today I expected the dreaded root canal we had been hoping to escape. This being the end of the "benefit year", my coverage would only cover $400 of the close to $2000 costs so my dentist kindly offered to perform a "pulpar debridement" which is kinda like a really quick and not very thorough root canal, just to smooth things out till the calendar says its OK to do more. OUCH.

Recently I discovered that in addition to the teeny tiny dose of Xanax I take prior to dental appointments, nitrous oxide provides, in fact, a fantastic lifting of worry. LOVE. IT. But you know, there's so much of the experience I find objectionable: the sounds (which I attempt to minimize with music in my ears) and the SMELL. I hate the smell of those drills grinding away the teeth..ugh. I don't know that dental science will ever be able to improve those issues but for now, I'm content with the euphoric-like floating of laughing gas.

Its interesting how technology development has impacted dentistry. Here's an assortment of the tools my doctor used today:

I tend to keep my eyes closed to minimize stress but I think perhaps my imagination gets the better of me... all kidding aside, he did have a motorized version of this tool that really made a racket, but I suppose if you're wanting to make huge holes in fairly hard innervated tissues, its just the right thing...

Gadget Girl Excitement
My grocery store is going all Buck Rogers! Yeah! They have these cool hand held scanner devices, kind of like the thingies you see people using to inventory goods on shelves. As you shop, you scan your items, bag 'em, and at checkout you just zap your little device, it summarizes your order, pay and you're gone. It is very slick and totally reduces time in line not to mention the reduction in lifting in and out of the cart. Very nice. As a nice incentive to use the devices, they target additional promotional offers associated with purchase history (those whaddaya call 'em customer cards?). I find that kind of funny: as if I need encouragement to pick up the blinking beeping gadget... to spare my back the lifting in-lifting out-lifting in routine of grocery shopping....

Did anyone get the tag number of that bus...?
You know, the one full of 3rd and 4th grade knitters that ran over me yesterday? Man! After three weeks with just the Tuesday knitters (n=4), the whole group PLUS a few newbies were back yesterday. I had *15* knitters. All at very different skill levels. Wowzers. I could have used some of that nitrous oxide....
That being the case, I was in sore need of help in guiding those requiring attention. The four loyal students who have learned so much were enlisted and I was thrilled to look up and find Knitter N standing behind Knitter A, holding the needles with her and demonstrating each step so the student could have the very best perspective on the technique... I was so proud---that's exactly how I showed each of them... did I mention that last week, I was playing (at their request) some songs from High School Musical on my iPod and at one point, everyone was singing as they knit along... Nirvana. Music, Friends, Knitting... snacks. You just don't need much else.

The Loose Ends

2008-11-29T11:38:00.006-05:00

I've finally enjoyed some of the Thanksgiving feast today: starting right at supper time Thursday, I got a nasty tummy ache that lastd through yesterday. After cooking all day on T-day, its not unusual for me to forgo eating with the family in favor of chatting and sipping wine but I do usually have some of the meal later in the evening. The good news? My gravy, the homemade dinner rolls (YOWZA!), my mother-in-law's super-amazing rutabaga were all spectacular today. And the cheeseball? Yummmmmmm. I love a good feast that lasts for days!

Guitar
I'm finally building some confidence and pushing away the intimidation and uncertainty with my six-string. It has actually taken a pretty broad approach but its fun. A certain famous rock guitarist has an "online guitar school". Its basically pay as you go video downloads but so far I've found the pace to be good and the instruction thorough. Those segments include some theory chatter but not enough for me; I totally feel the need to wrap my head around the math and patterning of the fretboard so I also grabbed a membership at Guitar Lessons World which has a LOT of guitar theory; it helps me to connect my rusty theory from days gone by to this new instrument. I'm loving it. Finally, because my ear and voice skills could be better, I've also started some training with Practica Musica which is really fantastic for that purpose. I love that it allows you to complete the interactive lessons on either a fret board, keyboard or by writing on a staff---and also to toggle between them. The big surprise for me is the degree to which each of these components mesh with each other. So yeah, there's no one looking at my hand position and giving tips for improvement but truthfully, I doubt I could get this comprehensive instruction and a standard lessons setting. I'm pretty excited.

Kid Photos
Aren't they cute?

Knitters: my Tuesday group is much smaller than the full Thursday group. The four who join me on Tuesday are SO much fun and are really getting the hang of this knitting business. Cute or what?

After what seems like a very long time, this endeavor has become what I'd hoped: a fun time of hanging with the little kids with some easy-paced knitting instruction. Its taken a LOT of tweaking on my part to get the experience right: I've incorporated some knitting related "activity centers" including pc-based video tutorials, cool uses of knitting (remember this?) and snacks, take home materials including fun books and other videos. Also incentives: lots of candy. And music. I'm impressed by how much easier it is to keep calm the kids who are waiting for help when the music is on. Impressed, not suprised. I think for the next session (beginning in January, I think) I'll acquire some low-cost drop spindles and have them begin to think about where it is yarn comes from and the ability to express your creativity deeper in the knitting process. Fun times! All of my knitters this go-round are third- and fourth-graders so I'm pretty certain I have a couple of years with them to explore fiber arts!

Sneaky Mommy Stuff
I don't know how much, if any, holiday knitting there will be because I am totally jazzed about a sewing project. Check this:

Yeah. Can't wait for the kids to head back to school so I can get the party started! As of Christmas Day they'll each be the proud owners of at least 2 American Girl dolls each so there's lots to be done.

Music Lessons

2008-11-26T12:16:00.002-05:00

If you don't already love This American Life (Chicago Public Radio, Public Radio International), this could do the trick. This most recent episodes features several reflections on the musical experiences of students. Leading with David Sedaris' memories of his Dad's jazz habits and Billie Holliday singing late-60's commercial jingles, there's no way this could go wrong. Enjoy.

Music Lessons (This American Life #104)

Thanks again to Jill for her post this week; I totally enjoyed it. Sorry to bump it down but I didn't want to miss this opportunity to post TAL.

Quick Mommy Report:
Two nights ago whilst hugging Lolly, I felt something odd about her booty. What could it be? She had an inkpen tucked between her booty cheeks. Unawares, apparently...

Guest Spot: JASEsq

2008-11-24T20:32:00.012-05:00

Hello, kittens. Today I've got a nice surprise: a really informed and thorough review of James Taylors' Covers cd (coincidentally, available now as an Amazon.com download for five bucks). Our guest today is my bud, Jill. We "met" first through our blogs, Facebook, mutual friend who insisted we would hit it off. Well--- true 'dat. Jill and I share love of books, movies, political persuasion, techy-ness, knitting, wine and music and JAMES TAYLOR... in fact---I've NEVER met anyone whose musical interests and tastes match mine so closely, whose head is so full of all the details of the stuff we love.

Jill is working on her MLS these days. She has a lovely husband who is also a librarian dude. They have a great dog ('tosh) and three cats (Milo (!), Dash and Simon). I just learned that Dash is a cat after my own heart: as Jill sits in her living chair typing in the sunlight, Dash delights in chasing the rainbow prisms flashing off her diamonds. When her fingers take a pause on the keyboard, poor Dash commences to yowling for her to get busy cranking out those shinies for his delight... who doesn't love a sparkly diamond??? Thanks, Jill for this review:

Wichita Lineman -- James Taylor
Why, Baby, Why-- James Taylor
Not Fade Away -- James Taylor
How's the World Treating You -- James Taylor & Alison Krauss
She Thinks I Still Care -- James Taylor

"In 2006, Blender Magazine named James Taylor the biggest of the 25 biggest musical "Wusses" of all time. The reactions I saw among my fellow JT fans mostly mirrored my own: a wry shrug, acknowledgment that our Sweet Baby James ain't the edgiest of fellows, and a tinge of regret that more people aren't aware of his less mainstream work. In his deeper cuts, JT showcases funk and blues, a sense of timing that is the envy of other musicians, and a profound (and often gleefully reprehensible) sense of humor.

After all, this is the guy who has a liner note credit for that rare musical instrument "chainsaw and 2x4."

But JT's public persona as a stuck-in-the-70's bland purveyor of pop pap is well enough ingrained into the zeitgeist that those of us who love him cherish that other, almost secret side -- it is a bit like we are fans of a different JT, one who is largely unknown to the masses. Of course, this warm, fuzzy, intimate feeling is blown to smithereens when you have to endure a massive clusterfuck of a venue like the Nissan Pavilion or the Tweeter Center in order to see him live, but such is the price of success.

Being a fan of JT is not without its disappointments (we shall not speak of Never Die Young) but most of his albums show him continuing to grow and develop as an artist. He never changes course dramatically, but he almost always gives a little more, gets a little looser, tries a little harder. This gives his albums warm comfort for the fan without ever giving the impression he is resting on his laurels. In the last six years or so, October Road and One Man Band have delivered exactly that kind of experience.

Enter Covers

Every cover album is setting itself up for potential colossal failure, almost by definition. Unless the chosen material consists of well-worn chestnuts that have been worked over by every crooner since Sinatra or is a quirky collection of little-known gems of songwriting, there's the yardstick issue to be dealt with. Someone has already put their individual artistic stamp on this song, so it behooves the new artist to do one of two things: 1.) do what the original did and do it better: a lot better, or 2.) put a completely unique spin on each song that nobody else could do. The kiss of death for a cover is to just do a nice, workmanlike job on a group of reasonably well-known songs. Unfortunately, that's mostly what JT gives us here.

Before delving into the contents of Covers, it should be noted that some of JT's greatest hits are, in fact, covers. "Up on the Roof," "Handyman," "How Sweet it is (to be Loved By You)," and that linchpin of the wuss argument, "You've Got a Friend" are all covers. On his 2-disc CD Live, he delivers a soulfully original version of George Jones' "She Thinks I Still Care." This is a man who can, in fact, put his stamp on someone else's song, especially in a live setting. You would think that an album of covers, with JT's incomparable band all playing together in the same place at the same time would deliver a great, energetic, creative collection of tunes. Unfortunately, you'd be mostly wrong.

Contrary to the what that same place/same time setup might promise, the resulting album is low energy and dull. Slower tempo songs like "It's Growing," "Seminole Wind," and "On Broadway" are almost funereal. Oddly enough for a man who's known for his 70's sound, it's the songs that sound the most, well... 70's that suffer the most. I want to like "Wichita Lineman" a lot. It's an example of what Jimmy Webb could do when he wasn't writing silly bombast like "MacArthur Park," with soaring melancholy that can break your heart and make you smile at the same time. It's the kind of song JT should have been able to knock out of the park. But again, all the edges have been filed off and instead of soaring and wailing it is muted and pallid. "Seminole Wind," though written in 1992, sounds like it could have streamed out of 1977 AM radio, and it's a bit of a snooze. Worst of all are two instances of poor song selection - the R&B tribute to mom, "Sadie," which comes across as sappy (and has a frankly embarrassing spoken word intro), and a moribund version of Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne" (of all of Leonard Cohen's songs, this is the one he chose? Joni Mitchell could successfully have sung this, but not JT). These tunes are frankly and appallingly wussy.

The album finally does pick up a bit and we can see glimmers of life and signs of that "secret" JT, but it isn't until the fifth tune - "Some Days You Gotta Dance," before the album finally dusts itself off and gets going. "Why Baby Why" has a truly appealing country swing. On rock and roll classics ("Hound Dog," "Summertime Blues," and "Not Fade Away") we finally get to hear JT rip into the music with gusto, energy, and creativity. Five songs out of 12 isn't enough to save Covers as an album, but a real fan always looks forward to the next project. After all, JT rarely disappoints. We can forgive the occasional misstep."

As go the Vinyl and 8-track, so too goes the compact disc player

2008-11-23T20:29:00.005-05:00

Not the actual cds, of course. For several years now, our household has listened to digital music 97% of the time. And although I've got a really nice storage and organization system (compact, easy to retrieve) with way over 1000 discs, there's virtually no way to avoid some clutter.

On Tuesday the UPS man (cue music: "The Wells Fargo Wagon") will deliver our second Squeezebox and all of the cds and cd player will be put taken out of routine service. I'm audiophile enough that it will still be a long time before I forgo having the full uncompressed .wav versions of recordings I purchase but the discs will no longer be within grasp after ripping to my music server. I bought my first cd player in 1987...I wonder what's coming next...

And now, a message about girls...

2008-11-21T19:47:00.013-05:00

Wheee! Who doesn't love primping and pampering? Even some of my fondest male friends are not above a manicure, a little tweaking of the hair in various ways, perhaps some help with sparse eyebrows...

All of my daughters are already indoctrinated in the ways of the obsessively indulged woman. Today, has been girls' day and it began with lunch and manicures; there will be hair and makeovers later. Movies and pie, also. I love little Anna's yellow with red polka dots...the yellow DOES glow in the dark!

I have a couple new products for the makeover session:

I do indeed love powdery foundation-like stuff for evening out skin texture and color and I've used Bare Minerals pretty happily for a while now. You're shocked, I know, because its so natural looking you thought I actually DO have porcelain for skin. No. I have a little cosmetic help. On my recent trip to Birmingham I spent a couple of days with the Makeup Czar, cBFF-A and she pointed out this Smashbox Halo Hydrating Powder. Its niiiiiiiice. Its not messy because its a cake down there with a shaver disc over top so you just carve up what you need by a little turn, swirl, tap and voila! And you know what? It feels really refreshing on the skin. And the brush? Heavenly. A makeup girl's dream. Its texture is a bit more fine than the Bare Minerals, not as fine as Mineral Veil so it makes a nice substitute for the former and I feel comfy foregoing the latter in a hurry.

As I get older (!!) I'm increasingly bothered by what I think of as signs of fatigue around my eyes---they're just not as bright and they have shadows in the corners. So I just happened across this other Smashbox product: Eyelight Highlighter. Its a crease-proof pearlescent white cream that is applied to the inner aspect of your lower lid and also to corners, above the brow bone if desired. Srsly? Huge difference. At least to me my eyes look much more bright and (gasp!) youthful. Much less tired looking!

Over the last couple of years, I've put a full stop on department store cosmetics, which I love inexplicably. One: I have far more than I ever use or likely ever will, and Two: no income of my own makes it pretty hard to justify, especially when you consider my yarn, technology and music expenses. So signing that contract was really liberating! Yay!

I love making up my girls' faces. They are all beautiful to begin with so my efforts are rarely disastrous and I sometimes go all Jon Benet Ramsey on them...*shudder*. Its FUN!

Any fun new product finds you need to tell me about? Thanks to Milo's Nonna who recommended Revlon's Lash Fantasy Mascara back in April; I LOVE that. My lashes have never been so full and dreamy...

And now, some girly tunes while I admire my countenance a bit more....

Long Walk -- Jill Scott
Janis Joplin -- Piece of my Heart
Howlin' Wolf -- Built for Comfort
Diane Schuur -- Caught a Touch of Your Love
Cowboy Junkies -- Angel Mine
Dana Owens -- Baby,Get Lost
Corinne Bailey Rae -- Put Your Records On
Eva Cassidy -- I Wish I Was a Single Girl Again
Everything But the Girl -- Love is Strange
Garbage -- Supervixen
Chaka Khan -- Tell Me Something Good

Random

2008-11-20T14:56:00.005-05:00

Have you guys been catching the weekly addresses that President-elect Barack Obama has made and distributed over the 'net via YouTube? He's most definitely going to do things differently. The transition team has also set up a website documenting its work including mini-dossiers on Cabinet nominees via the GSA website. I've really enjoyed having more than standard-media information on how the preparations are going. Inaugural revelers, take note: Obama's website will also be an outlet for additional requests for event tickets. Sen. Ben Cardin of Maryland announced today that they anticipate recieving 400 tickets for the swearing in and they've already received requests for 55,000.

Speaking of Inaugural revelry, around here there's a lot of buzz about the economic implications (for the better this time): There are *no* available hotel rooms during the inaugural period for a 150 mile radius of DC... wow. Wish I had some good GIS data and I'd figure out how many gazillions rooms that must be. But it looks like we're gearing up for an influx of millions of visitors. So yoo-hoo, all you guys who think this isn't a big historic event? Suck that.

Homecoming
Yesterday I spent the morning with my posse of surveillance peeps--it was GREAT. I was very very happy to be with them, to be contributing my ideas and continuing to improve our mousetraps. AWESOME. Better still, on the drive home, I phoned my epidemiology colleague from my County days and she said, I kid you NOT, "You are my Captain. You will always be my Captain." So, uh, yeah...my ego was a little over-inflated yesterday. Can you imagine? "Oh Captain, my Captain..!" Yay! Fantastic. Obviously one of my better professional accomplishments was campaigning heavily for her hire.

I totally can't wait to dig in on the project. I'm TOTALLY over-stimulated.

I really enjoyed the Ryan Adams tracks but I now am unable to get SNL's Finanacial Expert Oscar Rogers's "FIX IT!" out of my head....

Jon Stewart cracked himself (and me) up on Monday night. Did you enjoy the riff on "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"? (After the commercial, you can slide over to 3:00)

Guest Spot: MDS

2008-11-18T09:26:00.008-05:00

A long-time friendly colleague of mine recently spouted happily about Ryan Adams and The Carinals' release "Cardinology". This Ryan Adams guy, I hear about him but I never *HEAR* him so I asked MDS to consider sharing his thoughts on the cd with me here.

By way of intro, I met MDS upon returning to work from my first maternity leave. He'd been hired in the interim and become friendly with some of my work peeps. Since there were like a hundred Kathys there and because my name is a mouthful, cBFF-A and the newbies decided to provide me with a less imposing and confusing moniker. I am, and have been ever since, KHM. Pronounced as two syllables, not three; repeat after me: kaaaaaych-M, kaaaaaych-M. NOT "catch-M"--long A. He was part of one of the earliest LunchBunches and we engaged in very many completely-ridiculous-and-perhaps-inappropriate-for-the-office lunch time chat fests. A self-described Intoxicologist, I know him professionally as a public health guy---one of the few who aren't gay (sorry, but you know; its true.).

Finally, MDS is married to a lovely woman and they are the parents of four children and he probably doesn't know this, but we never celebrate our Anna's birthday without thinking about his family and first son, in particular. MDS has an ear for music that's good so here's what he has to say about Cardinology:

Somebody once said, “People like change, they just don’t want to be changed.” Ryan Adams decided that he needed to make changes in his life. Now single, clean, and vegetarian, the singer’s new album, Cardinology, is an introspective mid-tempo joy ride.

Adams, one of our most prolific singer/songwriters, and the Cardinals took a full year to make the new album and it shows… this from a band that previously recorded 3 albums in ONE year and one was a DOUBLE album.

Half way through the album he pleads in CSN&Y fashion for the Lord to let us down easy and later (Sink Ships) he wonders aloud who in the world would be his partner (not just for a night!).

“Let us down, easy… Lord”

Fix It -- Ryan Adams
Sink Ships
Let Us Down Easy

I heard a popular music critic say,"I wouldn't say that Adams is the best song writer since Neil Young, Bob Dylan but I wouldn't say he's not..." That's a pretty large, if ambivalent, compliment. Adams' reputation is solidly Roots, Americana but I've yet to hear anything that made me believe he wasn't country. I've not listened much. And I haven't heard the tracks I'm posting here until after I push the publish button. Thanks MDS for taking the blog plunge here! Nicely done!

Bethy Blue

2008-11-17T20:49:00.002-05:00

Sooooo.... today has been the anniversary of what most of my family refers to (in some manner or another) as "The Worse Day So Far." Not fun. We all kind of hold our breath leading up to Nov 17, wondering if the vague senses of rhythm and/or meaning we've built back in to our lives will carry us through the day or if we shall, one more time, all fall into weeping piles of sadness.

Today was the worst day I've had all year. But it wasn't as bad as the previous years. It was sporadic---I felt ok for hours at a time and then... not so much.

We're all agreed: Beth, its one thing to disappear from the face of the earth but couldn't you just make a flipping phone call once in a while? Or hell; just come back and we can forget all about this cancer and dying nonsense.

I'm remembering the inimitable Donald Walker saying something along the lines of, "well, if your Mom would just give up this sneaky "leave-me-alone-I'm-dead routine of hers..." Heh. Indeed. Give it up, Boo.