Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Roast Beef and Noodle

Noodle's appetite for nearly anything crossed the line between amusing puppy annoyance to I'm-about-to-throw-that-dog-out. Read this, and remember, I find not one bit of it funny:

Yesterday, Noodle snatched a half-full half gallon of chocolate-raspberry ice cream that Anna had "forgotten" to put away. Of course he ate it. He had also on Sunday or Monday snatched a brand new package of socks I'd purchased for Lindsay and did little damage, but still.

Today. Now comes today. Today was to be a day full of documenting a bunch of stuff for my final exit from work. I'm freshly showered, in comfy hangin' out clothes, sitting in bed, propped just right, got the music just the way I want it. Lindsay is downstairs with her grandmother and I've got some hot hot coffee. Working away, feeling smart and accomplished. Competent. Capable. Productive.

Noodle vomited every bit of that chocolate-raspberry ice cream in two bursts on my bedroom carpet. Well, there's no ignorning or deferring THAT now is there? It was holy hell to clean and by the end of the cleaning, my bathtub needed to be scrubbed and I needed to shower again.

All right, some time lost, no big. Let's get rolling. I did plenty of work; just before the time I was expecting Anna and Haley home from school, I packed up the laptop and moved downstairs so I'd be ready to sit them down for homework, get Anna off to tennis lessons.

I'm sitting in the family room, Otis and Noodle and in here with me or in the kitchen, pretty quiet. Pretty soon I hear the sounds of something crunching. Noodle has this lair of blankets behind a very large chair that sits kind of across a corner. When I went to look, that damn dog had somehow snatched the roast that I had in the sink thawing for supper. He had eaten the whole effing thing. Just like that. Oh was I pissed.

So, moving right along, getting more work done, Rob, Haley and Anna are all out at tennis, its quiet, I notice no untoward activity. I decide to call someone and reach for my blackberry which I'm certain is in my knitting bag. Nope; I swear that's where I put it. I get the home phone, dial my cell number and follow the sound. In Noodle's lair were: one half sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, my freakin' blackberry (in its recently replaced case 'cuz he ate the other one) and a needle roll containing a full set of dpn's from size 1 to 15. About a hundred bucks worth of knitting gold.

I'm just disgusted. At my wit's end.

I haven't talked about knitting lately but that doesn't mean none is going on. I completed a major project last night that I need to launder, block and present to its owner. I'll take a copy to post once its received.

Now I'm focussing my efforts on the Koigu Charlotte's Web shawl but I'll probably start some socks, too, because its nice to have some mindless knitting to alternate with the complex one. Besides, I love doing the socks.


Melissa said...

I am just speachless! Noodle, how could he!!! How can a dog so cute.... And I thought getting up at 6am yesterday morning to clean the doggy vommit of the carpet was bad! (of course that was 3 times in the last week I cleaned up after him...) But Noodle!!!! YIKES!!!

Kathy said...

That mother-effer---today I cleared the lair, removed the blanket he had back there, vacuumed, sanitized and situated the green chair so he couldn't squeeze back. I'll be damned if Rob didn't just tell me that he found a 1 pound box of brown sugar back there.

I've been looking for info---this hunting for food is instinctual and apparently once they learn it is "self-rewarding" its hard to break. They recommend things like booby trapping attractive foods with noisy stuff or mousetrap-like snapping devices....I'm thinking dynamite.

Of course what do I know about the instinctual hunt for food---MY dog is a shih tzu---his instinct is to sit in my lap and eat bon bons.