Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father's Day 2007

My husband is a great father---hands down, I've never met anyone else who loved their daughters more or was more involved in their care and growth. Single parenthood must be really challenging; thank goodness for Daddys like Rob.

My own father is a heck of a man, himself. He worked very hard for many years to raise his family; much of that work took him away from the household and limited the time he had with us but we always understood his devotion to us. Somehow he managed to provide everything his three girls needed to launch successful, happy lives. I love you very much, Daddy and I'm proud of how far your hard work has taken all of us.

The Groove
With summer vacation upon us, we've taken a few days to put the house in order, to celebrate the liberation from weekday routines and figure out how we'll structure our days. Thankfully it appears everyone appreciates the mid-day quiet time and there has already been enthusiastic napping all around.

We've begun to read Little Women together. Its a great book with special connection for our family since my great-grandmother was so taken by it that she named my maternal grandmother "March"---the surname of the little women. Every generation of our family since includes one little girl with that name and I hope that continues...

There's lots of crafting going on, too. We love to play at making things so long days are good things...

Fountain of Youth
Hot flashes are like fountains spewing sweat for no apparent reason -- all of that youth, leaking from my pores....

Since beginning to take magnesium, I do think that my hot flashes are moderated a good bit---I'd say by about 90%... they still happen, I still feel damp but they seem more brief and I haven't had any that soaked my hair entirely. But many did, indeed, make it frizz....

Sleep went from a problem of dirth to one of excess... Things seem better now cutting the dose in half. I may actually not take it tonight unless I have trouble. Not only have I slept 8 or 9 hours in an uninterrupted stretch each night but I've also had naps of a couple hours every day.

I want to thank Carrie for making a remark she probably didn't give much thought to but it was one that helped me a lot. She said how she had decided to be as graceful as possible about the inconveniences and discomforts of pregnancy... somehow her remark came around to the recognition that some things are simply impossible to manage gracefully... such is perimenopause.

That remark really helped me begin to understand the multiple levels at which this process undermines the confidence and esteem of a woman in our culture. First, sweating is just not cool outside the work-out sphere. I've never been a person that sweated a little bit---forget that glow notion. And the hot flashes I've had produce sweat to beat that of a 60-mile bike ride in Florida--- salt crusted skin, drenched clothes... all of that. How can we be smiling like nothing is happening when drenched, burning up and knowing that everyone is wondering what the hell is going on? I've decided that the expectation we should pretend like nothing is happening is just another way of dismissing features of the feminine experience that aren't sexually pleasing. Sorry about that, guys. That's what porn is for.

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