Wednesday, May 21, 2008

It makes me feel .... dirty (and not in the good way)

American Idol --- what can I say? It was a season of some decent hopefuls, the best of which got voted off too soon... the final two guys were both good enough and I'm somewhat satisfied that D Cook managed to edge out Archuleta despite the ooey-gooey sweetness that David exuded and the teen-appeal... not that he can't sing; he'd have been a decent Idol, too.

All season long, though, I've just really hated those stupid group numbers with the fast-walk approach to choreography, everyone pretending they secretly aspire to form up some kind of post-modern Osmond Family... I mean, really; how embarassing! And Fox makes them do it, and they have to because they want to be an American Idol. Barf! You know it makes them feel all icky, too.

The really bad thing, to me, is that most of the shows are 75% product placement and partner promotion---Sony Records, Ford, Coca-Cola, AT*T, its just a non-stop promotional fest and it really makes me feel like I should object more to being subjected to hours of marketing disguised as entertainment... but we keep watching, don't we?

Here are a few things I'd like to say to the production team and the "judges":
1. Paula: sit down; keep your drug-induced kumbaya flattery to two concise sentences. No one listens to what you say anyway.
2. Simon: you're always right. Dial the rudeness down a notch so we can attach some respectability to your comments. Also, wink more; I think its very sexy. And personally? I like the tight black t-shirts.
3. Ryan: you suck. Go away. And really, get over your attraction for Simon; he's really not that into you.
4. Randy: dude, I want to like you but you always say the same thing which is essentially nothing. Whatever Coca-Cola paid you to wear the red suit tonight wasn't enough.
5. Producers: holy smokes!---how much money do you need to make on this show? Stop it already with the We Are the World stupid group productions---they all look stupid and your contestants have got to hate it---believe me; the audience does, too. Also, how about if sometime you invite an established artist on for some reason other than having a new album/tour/movie to promote? Huh? How about someone who achieved success through hard work and earned the contestants' respect?

And while we're at it---the whole celebrity mentor thing? Waste of time... again---if you must have those experiences, why not pick someone without a new enterprise to sell?

What will I do till next season?


Lyman said...

Great post. I flipped back and forth between the finale and the Laker game and once the game was over caught the last half hour or so. Loved Gearge Michael, everything else was pretty blah. They keep skewing their target audience younger and younger with all of the "High School Musical"-esque production numbers. I expect to see the final twelve belting out nursery rhymes for Milo's age demographic in a couple of years.

I'm glad Cook won, I didn't like that Archuleta kid from the get-go (probably because of his stage dad who got his backstage pass revoked).

Although I fully expect Cook to fade into Idol obscurity like most of the winners.

Kathy said...

Yeah, the declining target-age is something that's hard to miss these days--given Brooke, Jason and D Archuleta's success you have to figure the average age of voters is just about 10 years.

And the whole Disney thing is kind of creeping me out---i mean really! Did they REALLY give the Jonas Brothers stage time? And without and Idol contestant to boot? And you might have missed the "celebrity" audience scans that caught every current Disney personality... its kind of gross; all so manufactured, not real---everything I hate about Disney (and Orlando), in fact; I just didn't think American Idol had gone entirely in that direction... wrong again!

Special K said...

Quiting AI was one of the most liberating things I did this spring! I highly suggest it. (: At first I thought it was interesting, but I got really tired of the judgeless judges (except of Simon), and the music simply didn't move me, like good music should. Too bad, because it really *could* be an interesting show, if they maybe let people do their own original music, and had some real criticism.

Anonymous said...

that is dead on!

We didn't even watch it this year because honestly Paula makes me too nervous. She's obviously either medicated too much or too little........or something. I just can't stand watching her embarrassing herself like that.

Simon could do the show by himself. Only if he agrees to wear the black shirts though. Yep. I'd start watching it again.

Randy? I don't think much of him because all he say's is 'dude' and 'dog pound'. I don't think he realizes that a great deal of the American population does NOT speak in this manner. LOL

I miss AI like it use to be. It's a disgrace now........& I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on it. They should hire you as a consultant before the whole thing goes flat.