Uncertainty...

Not to go on and on or anything but its my blog anyway...

I might have mentioned somewhere or other that I am blown away by an HBO weekly drama called InTreatment . I'm not kidding; its the sh*t. If you're at all interested in the human condition, I don't know where else you might find such fertile ground for observation and rumination. The writing is brilliant and the acting is for the most part superb. I think that it is to the individual what The Wire is/was (*sniffle*) to American inner cities. Did I mention that its freaking brilliant and absolutely riveting?

So anyway, uncertainty. My obsessive contemplation these days is largely regarding the tolerance (or not) of uncertainty in determining who we are individually and collectively. As I was watching....um, one (?) episode of InTreatment this weekend Paul, the therapist and central figure (conflicted Everyman; my fave) is in session with a very troubled married couple. There is huge power/accomplishment differential between them with the wife being extremely well educated and successful in her career, enjoying that. Husband is a singer songwriter with little or no success; he's an artist in his heart and he likely works as a skilled laborer. They have one child. Husband wants a second and Wife has led him to believe, through five years of fertility treatment, that she does as well. Except she doesn't. She wants to grind out her career and push it as far as she can; she's loving it and its working well for her. She eventually miscarries a successful conception but is accused of terminating willfully.

This crisis of conflict, of dishonesty, anger and disappointment is negotiated (?) between them with (almost) more disdain than I can bear to watch. Husband in one moment blurts out a remark about "it all" being hers...their whole life: her salary, their money; her uterus, their family; the end of her pregnancy, their loss.

In this one moment the writer crystallizes my contemplations so well it took my breath away: Husband is struggling with the uncertainty of his wife's integrity, of her promises in marriage, of her love and their life together. He feels he has nothing but his life with Wife and it appears to be at risk. And how they face that uncertainty, the damage they inflict as they go or the faith they build....will make all the difference.

Its not TV. Its HBO.

In Other News...
Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. Yes, Swine Flu is still here. The most meaningful commentary I can muster just now is from a friend of a friend: "Swine flu: its the other white plague..." (J, please thank your friend).

Soccer
Things 1 and 2 are settling into the Spring season with their team; no big roster changes this year except at the near-top: That man I live with was invited to join the coaching team and woosh---there he goes. Its mostly a bit more sophisticated than herding kittens but some days, girls just wanna have fun and they all know each other SO well by now; its like a tea party with cleats and shin guards... The team is kicking butt in a big way and it looks like "the coaches" and families are preparing to make the leap from our recreational league to the more competitive "Classic" league with requirements for skills and performance of teams and individual players. Its more comitment for the kids and the parents and I'm not entirely sure how it will work for us but I'm willing to give it a shot.

As recognition for some achievement the team was invited to escort players onto the field in last night's Washington Freedom vs St. Louis Athletica match and to have some face/camera time with Mia Hamm who was being honored. What an exciting match---the Freedom totally outplayed St. Louis the whole game but the score not in their favor: 1-3 at about 70 minutes. Two amazing goals in a few minutes later the game ended in a tie but the crowd, drowned and cold as we were from sitting in the rain, left very very happy. Team Captain Abby Wambach is a fierce bruiser of a forward (can you say "intimidating"?!) and Sonia Bompaster is so consistently excellent it would be tough to NOT enjoy the evening.

Headaches
Not to tempt fate or anything, but I've had more than a one week stretch with a new preventive med and no headaches that I couldn't treat and get on with life---in the face of some well established triggers: dramatic atmospheric pressure changes, storms. I'm happy. Almost willing to believe that I'm something other than just lucky...perhaps on the right track?