Thursday, July 20, 2006

Jeez Louise

"Tell Me Something Good" -- Chaka Khan/Rufus (Rags to Rufus, 1974)

I have been annoyed by this blog for most of the day. Last night discovered that the YouTube clip I put up appeared to embed but wouldn't play. Well, now tell me---just exactly how useful is that? So I deleted the cursed thing but couldn't figure out why my blog kept loading with that post right up at the top. I thought it was some phantom take control of your computer conspiracy by YouTube.

Turns out, not so much. You have to republish your blog after you delete a post otherwise you confuse the hell out of yourself. And keep people from being able to post comments. Yeesh. What a pain in the butt. And...

Speaking of pain...
in the butt and otherwise---I went to the office today. Oh my god. I won't say who but I desperately needed to strangle at least one person today. Some people must have job descriptions that require them to spend 80% of their time figuring out why nothing you ask them to do is their responsibility and the other 20% explaining to you why your seemingly reasonable request is against every single rule ever conceived and held secret from you. But thank god they're around to keep you from getting into reams of trouble by actually trying to accomplish something. This is government, after all.

But really, what I meant to say is that my foot HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS. Sonofabitch.

At the office
Upon arrival I opened my purse to pull out the day's gear. The contents of my purse struck me as odd so I thought I'd collect your thoughts on it (the comments button is at the bottom of the post---speak up for chrissakes..) Oh dear. I'm cursing a lot today.
In my purse I found:
1 60 GB iPod Video (love it)
1 Motorola Razr phone (also love it) battery dead
1 Motorola Blackberry phone (it could be better, actually; work issue) battery dead
1 Motorola bluetooth handsfree headset (love it) battery dead
1 Hollywood Glamour in a Box (where was this product 20 years ago? How did I live without it?)
1 Epinephrine pen
1 pill bottle (Tylenol with codeine---why does my foot still hurt???)
1 tube Lemon grass sage hand lotion (smells very nice, forgot I had it)
1 nice mechanical pencil (don't touch it or I'll hit you)
1 cheapy give away pen (I always write in pencil)
1 very nice business card case (nearly empty, need to refill; lots of cards from other people)
5 wadded up receipts (all Starbucks!)
17 pennies
2 bottles of OPI nail polish (Malaga wine, Passion (ooooh la la))
1 tube Ocean Potion "dab-on" SPF 60 sunscreen for faces
1 Clinique lip pencil, completely worn down and useless unless you just *want* to scrape up
your lips...
1 Revlon Lip Gloss (#80 Cherries in the Glow---LOVE it)
1 L'oreal powder compact

Women's purses are dark and mysterious places. I thought I would offer up the inventory of mine in an effort to foster a sense of understanding between men and women. Please note that in my purse I did not find a single motrin, tylenol or feminine hygiene product. Neither was there a wallet or my platinum card. Those, my friends, are critical shortfalls. Because even if you don't need a tampon, having one in there will make sure that no man will ever put his hand in there... I think if you take a look at the larger picture of what my purse contents say about me you'd probably conclude I like technogadgets and cosmetics.

Chaka Khan
Sultry. Fabulous.


Drew said...

First, I like how every electronic piece of equipment in your purse has a dead battery except for your iPod. That HAS to say something about you!

Second, that reminds me of an article I read in Esquire about one of the writers who would offer people $1000 for whatever was in their pockets. Interesting read. I linked it here so hopefully the link works correctly.

Anonymous said...

Your purse is more fun than mine. I have a cell phone (the prepaid type turned off as I have it only for emergencies), wallet, coin purse, emergency pill box, daily pill box and an ink pen. How sad for me. Don't let yourself get old.

LYFE Donna