Thursday, February 22, 2007

Consolation Post

Well, this morning I had a pretty good idea for today's post but it ended up taking more time than I would allow myself before my morning nap so it will have to wait.

Other-worldly visitor
Say what you will, but I do take certain signs as indications that those who love us and have left this world are still around in some form or other---either as "energy" or as some physical object representing their love. Call me new age, roll your eyes, whatever. I don't care.

My Aunt Mary Walker (greatest woman who ever lived) loved Cardinals. I never see one without immediately thinking of her. We don't see that many of them around these parts. But this morning one alighted on the crepe myrtle bush outside my kitchen window. The guy sat there for a good ten minutes, checking me out as much as I was admiring him. I'm sure it was Aunt Mary and that she's checking up on all of us while she's hanging out waiting for Baby Medeiros.

Quitting my job
I'm happy about it. Really happy about it. Totally relieved; life has been so hectic and my guilt/anxiety over trying to do everything has really made me kind of crazy. I've been seeing a counselor for the last month or so and he's really helped me figure out how the cycle of failing to meet my own expectations, feeling guilty and ashamed about that, the guilt keeping me from performing as well as I should have, was keeping me from moving forward with recovering from the losses of the last several years.

So of course my response has been to sleep. I've been so wound up that I don't think I've had really good rest for a while.

I have just a small amount of time to wrap up some important items at work (well, I can work as many hours as I want but...that's not very many) and then I think they're keeping me around on a contract to perform such tasks as come along and require my "expertise" and can be accomodated by my domestic diva lifestyle. They have been, as always, so kind and supportive of the decision. It was a once in a lifetime gig, for sure.

Neti Pot
I've had lots of sinus crap for a while, all this dry air. I wake up every morning with a head full of stuff that doesn't belong there and I always end up with a nosebleed trying to remove it. Given that I suggested as much to Carrie, I ventured out yesterday and got one of my own. IT'S MAGIC. It really does a great job of clearing the sinuses and its only slightly awkward the first time you use it. All you sinus people out there should really give it a shot.

Live Music
In a very short period of time, I will have the pleasure of seeing Dianne Reeves, in person, as well as Cyrus Chestnut. They should both be GREAT shows. I just missed Jason Moran and his bandwagon which I'm trying to overlook PLUS---despite the fact that I requested notification of the date for Wynton Marsalis's Kennedy Center gig this season, I didn't get word until it was sold out. I've put a request for tickets up on Craig's List so you all cross your fingers for me.

Give Me One Reason -- Tracy Chapman (New Beginnings, 1995)

I *love* this Tracy Chapman tune. In my mind, no album she's ever done will touch her first major release but this is one hot song. I was thinking of it today because Rob and I watched some chick on American Idol totally blow it last night. She understood nothing of swagger, the spareness of the instrumentation contributing to the simplicity of her message, of finally having some "hand" in a situation.

1 comment:

Donna said...

Loved your blog today it really had a forward movement to it. I'm happy for you. Just think how happy you'll be the first really warm sunny day. Mahvelous. Love Tracy Chapman too. Have a great day.